.:Tuesday, July 31, 2001:.

life is weird

Suffering
First, you are born into a tiny helpless body with stomach gas, colic butt rash and zero bladder control. As you grow you develop a few skills....

....and start to notice things....

like maybe....

your nose is way to big for your face, or....
no one else's mother looks like yours, or.....
you get sick (on and off throughout your whole life).....
and you keep growing....
and changing.....
Until you GROW UP!

And then you start growing old.
Meanwhile there are all sorts of other people around you....

like the one who ate the last piece of toast....
or the ones you hear about on TV....
or the ones who wait for you after school....
There are things you want that you can't have. And the things you have that you don't want. And there are plenty of opportunities to feel:

Bored, irritated, jealous, grossed-out, afraid, angry, sad, lonely, inadequate, threatened, chubby, stupid, unappreciated, unloved, ugly, unsuccessful, squirrely, and totally bummed.
SO....
Maybe you....
Leave home, fall in love, get a "good" job, buy a house, a car, a swimming pool, a home entertainment unit, two huskies, a cottage, a boat, another car, a jacuzzi, an aquarium, a golf cart....
But you still feel hassled, so you....
Take a luxury holiday, join an athletic club, go to more downtown restaurants, "get into" art, invest in the stockmarket, have a child, add on to your house, redecorate, refinance, get a "better" job.....
But you're still not happy happy like you think you should be sooo.... you....
Fall out of love, enter therapy, take a shamanic journey, give up meat, join a food co-op, move to the country, buy a house, redecorate, find your inner child, meet your soulmate, become an eco-activist, quit your job, reinvest your portfolio, see a psychic, have another child, become a real estate agent, get into crystals, visit the Amazon....
And you think maybe you're happier.... but still.... there's something.... surely you deserve more?

But the whole world is so full of hassles..... there's....
Chemical warfare, widespread poverty, corruption, exploitation, political chaos, social unrest, discrimination, waste, slaughter, pollution, homeless children.....
You really should do something about it all but....
The lawn needs mowing, your son is "special," your accountant "must talk," the dog has distemper, you're getting fat, there's a funny lump, your new boss is strange, you're nervous fidgety, short-tempered , eating out of control....
.....and just when you feel your time has finally come to stand up and really make a difference in this world....
you have no clean underpants left.

Hassles, suffering, disappointment,....
these are all part of life.....

....and then you die....

Weird.

--by Laurie Fisher Huck
posted by .:|[-koni-] @ 11:17 AM|:. +

borreeddd

I'm so bored and i hate school! It's not that i'm tardy or such a dumbass. It's that i'm attending review classes right? and the subjects that i'm taking up-- i already took them couple of years ago. I'm getting tired of school! i just want to have fun and do all those things that i didnt got the chance to enjoy before! Come to think of it- I'm doing all those stuff that i didn't get to do!! hehe!! i go out a lot-- i dance, i drink! i am enjoying life! (got to think some defense ) well.. ok.. here it goes, may sound so stupid but it's true-
i live in the province.. and there's no place to go here. All you can see are trees and plants!! All i have is my cell.. my pc. Time will come and i won't be having internet account!! When that time arrives ( which is soon) i would have no other choice but to study. Grab all my old books and notes and start my own review! *sigh* i will surely miss my life here. heheh!! that would be one hell of a boredom!
posted by .:|[-koni-] @ 4:48 PM|:. +

die eat

Right now, i'm listening to the song of VST & Co. -- May i have this dance. It's such a nice song-- hehehehheh!! makes me wanna dance and do the swing, even though i don't really know how. Hmmm... Early this morning when i was cleaning the room i found a copy of a recipe for patients who needs to lose weight for their by-pass operation. I think it's a cool diet even though i haven't actually started it yet.It's composed of salads and grapefruit juices which i truly lovvvvvvvveee! There's no rice and bread and of course absolutely no sweets, no cakes and those stuff that makes life worth living.My ate needs to diet too since she's having trouble with her health at this age. I got this notion that diet means -- die trying! or die eating! omigod!! DIETING--- die eating! i'm a genius! lolz....waaaaaaaa!! hehehehehe!

posted by .:|[-koni-] @ 11:11 PM|:. +

bar exams

Ok, a month from now the Bar Exams will be held! I don't know.. but this particular exams is getting under my skin. I'm really nervous about it. Maybe for the reason that this is my batch-- meaning I know several Barristers! And I'm scared for them... I saw them cram..they graduated last march and for the past 5 months they've been reading what they have studied for the past 4 years. Imagine yourself reading all those books and cases, remembering jurisprudence and all those provisions. The bar is exudes great stress -- physically , mentally, and emotionally. It's what you call -- ONE HELL OF A BATTLE. The examinee should have the stamina to stay awake and keep a keen and clear mind despite the lack of sleep and rest. One should be ready to fight. I have read an arcticle when i was still in college about passing the bar-- the author talked about the things the examinee needs to pass. These are : Good Memory, Good English and Good Handwriting. Ok.. I got the english and the handwriting under control. Dang the Memory! waaaaa!!! (*sniff*) well.. i just got to work on it ]:). I just hope that when it is my turn to face the BAR, i am ready and well equipped. But then i have to start reading all my past notes and books now so that i won't cram when it comes. I'm not even sure if i should take the exam right after i got my degree.. I got to ponder on that one. Maybe i should write more about the bar exams.. heehe.. this write up inspires me to grab my old books and read. ]:) maybe i'm going to do just that.

been a long day-- had several minor problems with life but it's all OK now. ]:) I love.....

posted by .:|[-koni-] @ 9:10 PM|:. +

layout

i'm thinking bout a new layout!! i need ideas... dang brain of mine! arrghh!! make me wish im a genius when it comes into art and html tags! I got Dreamweaver i don't even know how to use! dang me! One of these days.. i'll be able to have the inspiration to change or improve my site. one..of these fucking days!

am i stupid or what?
posted by .:|[-koni-] @ 12:47 PM|:. +

gross

Ok.. while i was surfing the net last night. I got the urge to read about animal husbandry. Want to learn how the frigging animal kingdom procreate. So, i used Yahoo's Search Engine. I type the words : animal sex husbandry. I got one hell of a result. Most of them were xxx sites. I was like--" what the hell does a xxx site got to do with animal husbandry?!" So , i clicked the link. What i saw is so fucking gross.A woman and a dog, fucking. yikes!! And they do have a term for it--- animal beastality. I got goosebumps. a dog is for a dog, a woman is for a man. Well.. ok , sometimes a man is for a man and woman is for a woman.And to think - homosexual sex is fucking arrrghh.. imagine a woman being fucked by a dog, a horse or a pig. The pictures that i saw were so explicit. A man fucking a mare. waaaaaaaa!! where are the sense of these people? They make me wonder if they're on drugs or some othe king of illegal substance because I'm 100% sure that these things would not be done by sane people.

These sites need AC IDs to enter or somekind of membership , but the pictures on the main page alone is enough to leave a mark inside your head. Imagine your child seeing these kinds of pictures. Arrrghhh... There's just no safe place anymore. Not for you, not for me-- not for our future children.

posted by .:|[-koni-] @ 1:08 PM|:. +

grrr

I'm bored

=( help.......
posted by .:|[-koni-] @ 1:35 AM|:. +

bzzzz

I've been very busy these couple of days . As I've said from the previous entry, i'm spending time unwinding and relaxing. I'm actually staying with my bestfriend! =) We're having a nice time. wooo hooo!! She'll be leaving for Venus soon, got to stay close and spend time together as much as possible. So that when she leaves.. she'll have memories that will make her miss Me.

Though there is a sad news .. the mom of one of my sororal sisters died of cancer. Imagine that?? Losing someone that you deeply love and cared for? I can't bear the thought of losing my mom. It's like losing a limb. I know deep inside that i won't make it in the real world without her or my family. I AM THAT ATTACHED TO MY NANAY (mother). I'd rather die first. Death gives me the creep. This is one of my weaknesses. I'm not actually afraid of death itself, it's the fact that I'm going to be alone. I have this stupid notion that it's better for me to die ahead of everybody i love ..( selfish bitch on the run!!) Anyway, i just hope that oyen's mom will still guide her when she takes the Bar Exam come September. =(
posted by .:|[-koni-] @ 10:21 PM|:. +

unwind.. relax

There are times when one need to relax and to have fun. :) whenever one get tired of school.. of work and of their everyday life.. one must start to ease the stress and rejuvinate! How do you do that? hmm.. I don't know with others but i do mine by spending time with my friends, talk about life and all that shit. Sorting out problems and finding solutions for them. I don't have much problem.. it's just that -- i'm getting tired with school!! i need to break free! Anyway, for a year now.. i've been having this relaxation every once in a week! hehehehe!! I'm getting the hang of it..though there are times that i just want to be alone... reading a book , feeding my mind. Kulasisi is easy to please... a bottle of beer, good music and interesting company. That's all it takes for her to unwind and relax.

You got to enjoy life.. NOW before it's too late. Relax and enjoy life... live it.

posted by .:|[-koni-] @ 5:10 PM|:. +

zit

Don't you hate it when zit just pops out of your face? Well..ok, i don't belong to those lucky girls who has a flawless, perfect skin. This is one of the many facets of life I consider unfair. I settle for a face that is not babysoft-- just don't give me zit!! I mean ok-- zits heal but they leave marks. =( Anyway, i am to blame for this damn little volcanoes. i stay up late and i eat oily foods. I can't blame this thing on my face to my studies since i don't study! ]:)

I need to blame someone or something [?] *winks*

posted by .:|[-koni-] @ 1:05 AM|:. +

saying no

I got this problem when it comes to declining invitations and saying No. I grew up in a society wherein people say "Bahala na" , "susubukan ko" in lieu of saying no. I admit that I'm weak when it comes to leisure and pleasure. What I mean to say is that -- These things take precedence of my studies among other things. If I'm to choose between school and spending the day at home lazing around-- I always end up doing the latter. There are times that I don't attend classes just to go out or do things that I please. Why the hell is that when I've decided to be firm in saying no the temptation is just too great to resist?? And I end up agreeing to what they say. They don't believe me when I say N O. Something is not right… Waaaaaaaa!!

I hate turning people down..
posted by .:|[-koni-] @ 5:10 PM|:. +

awesome

Last night my sister and i had a blast, singing our lungs out in a KTV. ]:) Jane was there... Ailes was there.. Judy was and also Edna. We had a great time..singing and dancing to music that WE lovveeeeeeee! Naturally, i was not able to go to school. ]:( My ate and i got home very late, we got in at 2:30 am.Nevertheless.. i had fun spending a girls night out with my sister and friends. It kept the bond strong. ]:Þ I'm BLOGGING with the coolest girl bloggers on the WEB-- . The Pinay Sister's Blog

I woke up very late today.. around 11 am i think... I had several conversations with interesting people! *grins* I can feel this is going to be a great day! Eventhough its gloomy-- i feel i kinda like the weather.. wonder what made me feel that way.. *grins* It's such nice life!
posted by .:|[-koni-] @ 2:43 PM|:. +

blog

It has been a while since I started this blog.. Actually I've just celebrated (yeah right) my 6th monthsary in blogging. These are the things that I have learned :

It has improved my life… for I can say things here and I won't care if someone or somebody get hurt. I learned true expression. There had been clashes of point of views. It's natural that someone doesn't agree with you for they have their own principles and views. During these times, one has to learn to compromise. Most of my entries are based on my life. if ever there are clashes, it has to be between the good me and the bad me. I learned that the good doesn't always win. I learned that there are seasons in writing same with our lives… the dry season, wherein whatever it is that you feel and think can't be put in writing for you know that words hardly express what you truly feel. Then you decide that it's not worth writing after all. There is also blooming season, wherein you write about anything and everything and your write up just keep on turning into some exciting and unique article. I learned to value small things that's happening to me -- I learned to be keen on things that's been happening in my life and other people's lives.

In span of six months... not bad huh? C H E E R S ! !
posted by .:|[-koni-] @ 9:51 AM|:. +

battle of the sexes

Boys Vs. Girls
posted by .:|[-koni-] @ 10:07 AM|:. +

vain

My sister and I went to the mall today… we bought only the essential necessities in order for us to have a decent life.. hehehehe… needless to say, we didn't forget to drop by the "Health & Beauty" area of the department store.. we bought some soap, shampoo.. Facial tissues and some cosmetics. These are the things that are essential to us, or at least we like to think of them that way. Who would want to go out without some color on your face? Not all people are born with luscious red lips ok? Would you go out the house without some powder or cologne on? Have you seen the effect of not shampooing your hair? Your hair got that sticky look and icky feel. Eeeiw! I AM NOT VAIN.

Vain has been defined (I think..lolz..) as a state of over reaction toward one's look. It's a synonym of narcissistic (love of own self). They are the kind of people who REALLY are so conscious of how they look and are afraid of wrinkles and getting old among other things. As I've said.. I'm not vain. So I'm not describing myself here. There is VAIN and there is V-A-I-N. What's the difference? Uhmmm..Well.. the first one refers to the real VAIN which is a sin. And the second one refers to V-A-I-N , kind of people who just want to be presentable. It is a fact that not all women are VAIN, they just want to look nice and respectable and want to keep their present beauty. ( I belong to this group….hahaha!) I wont talk about the real vain people… it's just a waste of time. And it is also a fact that there are MEN who take care of their looks. Guys who.. uhmm *thinks* go to the salon to have their feet pedicured, who has comb in their pocket, a gel , cologne and God knows what else. So it doesn't necessarily means that if I go to the mall to have over haul (heheheh) that I'm a vain person. And it doesn’t hurt to pamper yourself once in a while. It's a treat for a job well done. What the hell…even if not well done!!! Wooooo hoooo!
posted by .:|[-koni-] @ 9:38 PM|:. +

*disclaimer: i didn't made this... heheheh...got it from the mail. i take no responsibilities what happens to you after reading this. Thankies to gemma and hannah for the mail.

Girl Poem

I shave my legs, I sit down to pee.
And I can justify any, shopping spree

Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage without a hard-on.

I can balance the checkbook, I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my about the size of my ass.

My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit, to others when I'm wrong.

I don't drive in circles, at any cost.
And I don't have a problem, admitting I'm lost.

I never forget, an important date.You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies, with lots of gore.

Don't need instant replay, to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch.

And just cause I'm assertive, Don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her.

In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!Flowers are okay, But jewelry's best.
Would you look at my face, Not at my chest!

I don't have a problem, With Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying, You look at the ceiling.
Don't call me a girl, A babe or a chick.
I am a WOMAN, Get it, you prick?!
posted by .:|[-koni-] @ 11:59 AM|:. +

speechless

I feared the coming of this day, do all bloggers undergo this phase? You know, the phase where you can't find the proper words to express what you feel. When all the things that's happening to you is so stagnant, sometimes they're not even worth remembering cause you know that you'll be doing the same thing tomorrow at exactly the same time. I wish there were something to say, really!!!! Something new to talk about. I'm getting bored with the things that i got used to. I know, i know.. i should be thankful and appreciate the things that i have. Because it stands true that you'll only appreciate the things that you have once it leaves your grasp. I don't know.. it seems that im talking non sense here....... in my whole lifetime as a blogger... i never felt speechless before. I always have something to say about this and that. But now i think words are too superflous.

Another thing that left me speechless is that fact that a total stranger actually gave me a call card... darn. Of course i refuse to accept.....but he sent it anyway. Such a generous guy, that made me speechless. Maybe next time, he can get me a car or some shopping spree... heheeehehehe! Such a cold day today.. there's another typhoon. A good day to rest and sleep.

posted by .:|[-koni-] @ 12:24 PM|:. +

Tree Game

This is cool!!! Evaluate yourself and see if this fits the
tree which you fall from.

Find your birthday and then find your tree...
Dec 23 to Jan01 - Apple Tree
Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree
Mar 21 - - Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree
Jun 24 - BirchTree
Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14 -Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25 - Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree
Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree
Sep 23 - OliveTree
Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13- Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree
Dec 22 - Beech Tree

APPLE TREE(the Love) - of slight build, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant aura, flirtatious, adventurous, sensitive, always in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, scientific talents, lives for today, a carefree philosopher with imagination.
ASH TREE(the Ambition) - uncommonly attractive, vivacious, impulsive,demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with its fate, can be egoistic, very reliable and trust-worthy, faithful and prudent lover, sometimes brains rule over the heart, but takes partnership very seriously.
BEECH TREE(the Creative) - has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, onomical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, sonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports,etc.)
BIRCH TREE(the inspiration) - vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the>>vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of>>imagination, little ambition,creates a calm and>>content atmosphere
CEDAR TREE(the Confidence) - of rare beauty, knows how to adapt, likes luxury, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on >>others, self-confident,determined, impatient, wants to impress others, many talents,industrious, healthy optimism, waiting for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.
CHESTNUT TREE(the Honesty) - of unusual beauty, does not want to impress, well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat,but irritates easily and sensitive in company, often due to a lack of self-confidence, acts sometimes superior, feels not understood loves only once,has difficulties in finding a partner.
CYPRESS TREE(the Faithfulness) - strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give, happy content, optimistic, needs nough money and acknowledgment, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered, unruly, pedantic, and careless.
ELM TREE(the Noble-mindedness) - pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, Modest demands, tends to not forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, tends to an all-attitude and making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor,practical.
FIG TREE(the Sensibility) - very strong, a bit self-willed, independent, does not allow contradiction or arguments, loves life, its family, children and animals, a bit of a butterfly, good sense of humor, likes idleness and laziness, of practical talent and intelligence.
FIR TREE(the Mysterious) - extraordinary taste, dignity, cultivated airs, loves anythingbeautiful, moody, stubborn, tends to egoism but cares for those close to them, rather modest, very ambitious, talented, industrious, uncontented lover, many friends, many foes, very reliable.
HAZELNUT TREE(the Extraordinary) - charming, undemanding, very understanding, knows how to makean impression, active fighter for socialcause, popular, moody, and capricious lover, honest, and tolerant partner, precise sense of judgment.
HORNBEAM TREE(the Good Taste) - of cool beauty, cares for its looks And condition, good taste, tends to egoism, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads reasonable, disciplined life, looks for kindness, an emotional partner and acknowledgment, dreamsof unusual lovers, is seldom happy with her feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.
LIME TREE(the Doubt) - accepts what life dishes out in a composed way, >>Hates fighting, stress, and labor, tends to laziness and idleness, soft and relenting, makes sacrifices for friends, many talents but not tenacious enough to make them blossom, often wailing and complaining, very jealous, loyal.
MAPLE TREE(Independence of Mind) - no ordinary person, full of imaginationand originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-respect, hungersfor new experiences, sometimes nervous, many complexes, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, ants to impress.
OAK TREE(the Brave) - robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting,independent, sensible, does not love changes, keeps its feet on the >>ground, person of action.
OLIVE TREE(the Wisdom) - loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, emphatic, free of jealousy,loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.
PINE TREE(the Particular) - loves agreeable company, very robust, knows >>how to make life comfortable, very active, natural, good companion, but seldom friendly, falls easily in love but its passion burns out quickly, gives up easily, many disappointments until it finds its ideal, trustworthy, practical.
POPLAR TREE(the Uncertainty) - looks very decorative, no self-confident behavior, only courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, artistic nature, good organizer, tends to philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.
ROWAN TREE(the Sensitivity) - full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic,passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.
WALNUT TREE(the Passion) - unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, >>often egoistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon,unexpected reactions,spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.
WEEPING WILLOW(the Melancholy) - beautiful but full of melancholy,attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful and tasteful, loves >>to travel, dreamer,restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with, demanding, good intuition, suffers in love.

I'm A HAZELNUT TREE. hehehhe! cool...
posted by .:|[-koni-] @ 8:10 PM|:. +

.:|HOME|:.

© by Kulasisi series of 2001, 2002

.:|Updated on|:.

.:|I Feel|:.

.:|I am Reading|:.
--------

.:|I am listening to|:.
Sana by Viktoria

.:| Fast Facts |:.
I was born on the 26th of March year 1977, which is year of the snake under the Chinese Calendar. I was born under the sign of Aries. So that makes me, a snake with a pair of torn.
I have:
º An older sister and brother.
º A bestfriend, named Jane.
º Tons of cousins and friends.
º A pet named Albayno, which is a Fish.
º A dog named, Clinton.

.:| My Button |:.

AOL Nickname: koni26
ICQ #: 72200173
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