Author's Notes:

Yes, this does happen at our lunch table almost every day.  Now we don't sit there anymore...  usually.

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Behavioural Studies with Skittles - Obtaining Nourishment

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Our modern world today is filled with new technology.  Thus, obtaining nourishment should be a relatively simple task; some people slaughter animals for meet, others harvest fruit, grains, vegetables and such, while still others process and package these foodstuffs to be placed in many locations where the average person may easily obtain them.

Of course, the teenage male must do things the hard way.  It may seem that teenage males have reverted back to their baser instincts;  that is, they fight each other viciously for every scrap of food they come across.

This was proved in the teenage male's "hunting grounds":  the high school cafeteria lunch tables.  One should tread carefully in the hunting grounds; many lunch items have been pilfered and consumed in less than a second flat.  To protect oneself (and one's foodstuffs), one must carry some "bait".  If one is attacked for one's foodstuffs, the bait will be used as a distraction while one makes one's escape.  Incidentally, if one is brave enough, it also gives one the opportunity to study this barbaric behaviour.  The bait should be small, candy-like substances, such as Skittles or M&Ms.  Skittles are preferred since those bounce more, thus causing the specimen to chase after it like a fool (while one gets a cheap laugh to brighten one's day).

A variation of this study would be to go for at least three days, bringing Skittles (or other sweet candy), and feeding the teenage males.  On the day after, bring sour Skittles or unwrapped warheads.  The reactions on their faces are hilarious, as they expect to taste sweetness and end up with an extremely sour taste instead.

At the lunch tables themselves, there is extreme competition among the resident teenage males.  They will scramble for the Skittles as if the world would end if they did not obtain at least one.  In such a struggle, most of the Skittles end up on the floor.  Those are eaten anyway, including those that have been trampled to a pulp from the resulting mob.  The teenage males become so violent they will resort to holding their competitions' hands in an attempt to increase their own odds of getting the most Skittles.  Teenage males are extremely messy; numerous drinks have been spilled and numerous people at these tables have ended up wearing their lunches.  There have also been records of said lunch tables having been moved at least twenty-six centimetres from their original placement.  To calm such activity to a reasonable, civilized level the usage of Duct Tape has been extremely successful, with masking tape as a lagging second.

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Hmm...  this is really off the wall...  Is anyone actually interested in this?
-Krazy Kazuko