7/9/04 - Been crazy busy lately, hope to start updating more regularly again soon. But for now, bask in the manliness of the birth name of Phil Beer.

6/24/04 - From Reuters, today. This guy must have 7 balls, each the size of an orange: OKLAHOMA CITY (Reuters) - Oklahoma's attorney general wants a state judge removed on suspicion he frequently masturbated and used a device for enhancing erections while his court was in session, a spokesman for the office said on Thursday. Attorney General Drew Edmondson filed a petition on Wednesday with state judicial authorities seeking the removal of Sapulpa District Judge Donald Thompson, 57, for "conduct constituting an offense involving moral turpitude in violation of the Oklahoma Constitution." Thompson was not immediately available for comment. The judge, elected to the bench in the state's nonpartisan judicial elections, is based about 80 miles northeast of Oklahoma City. In the petition, the attorney general charged Thompson used a penis pump, a device billed as providing sexual pleasure and promising better erections and larger penis size, during trials and exposed himself to a court reporter several times while masturbating on the bench. "On one occasion, Ms. (Lisa) Foster (Thompson's court reporter for 15 years), saw Judge Thompson holding his penis up and shaving underneath it with a disposable razor while on the bench," the petition reads. Several witnesses, including jurors in Thompson's court and police officers called to testify in trials, said in the petition they heard the "swooshing" sound of a penis pump during trials and saw the judge slumped in his chair, with his elbows on his knees, working the device. The witnesses said the pump sounded like a blood pressure cuff being pumped up. According to the petition, Thompson admitted he had a penis pump under the bench during a murder trial but he told investigators it was a gag gift from a friend. The petition also charges Thompson with firing his former court reporter after she cooperated with investigators.

6/23/04 - From the Associated Press, June 11, 2004. It's not a real food fight if it doesn't end with injuries and arrests: WATERBURY, Conn. - A food fight that started with fruit cup turned into a mealtime melee, serving up a full plateof arrests and injuries. Seven seventh-graders were arrested after a spat in a middle school cafeteria left two teachers and a detective with injuries Wednesday. The incident began at West Side Middle School after a girl dumped a fruit cup over a boy's head, police said. The two started fighting, then other students joined in, some jumping on tables and throwing food, police said. "What was described as a riot situation developed in the cafeteria," Sgt. Christopher Corbett said. A detective and two teachers suffered minor injuries breaking up the melee. Three girls and fours boys ranging in age from 12 to 14 were arrested on charges including breach of peace, assault and inciting a riot. All seven were released to their parents after promising to appear in juvenile court.

6/22/04 - Came across a couple of manly names today: Bartholomew P. Bacon, and G. Crapple. I'm tempted to start a new project, coming up with manly names for babies. That way the real men out there, or at least the babies' daddies out there, would have their own arsenal of names to combat those stupid name books babies' mommas always seem to bust out.

6/21/04 - Two manly quotes to get things rolling: "I'm not talking to you people ever again. I am more of a man than all of you put together. You have no idea how much of a man I am."--This pearl of manliness comes from none other than Christian Vieri, world class Italian striker, while talking to the media at the Euro 2004 championship in Portugal.