This Is The Story of How We Adopted Our Two Sons From Ukraine - page 3
Wednesday, November 15, 2000
Today is the day I've been waiting for, & the day that I have been nervous about. We went to the orphanage at 9 am. We stood outside, it was a nice day, thank goodness, because we waited a long time. At 10:30 or 11:00 we went in for the first time. They showed us 1 child: Nikolai "Kolya" Semekopenko. He was cute. We only got to see him for 1 minute. They told us he was 17 months old. He was scared & would not let us hold him. We really like him. We got no medical history. He has a bruise above his left eye on his forehead. They asked us if we liked him & we said "Yes!" They took us back outside & took Jim and Bridget in & showed them a child: Vladimir Davidenko. They liked Vladimir.
We waited outside again -for a long time. 2 of our staff went and got food for us for lunch. I was much relaxed. We had seen the first child - he looked wonderful. Now I am anxious to see the next child & hear the medical reports. One child that was referred to us was Artem Yakovenko - is not available because his mother is going to come back and take him. We were disappointed to hear this because we were probably going to adopt him.
At about 1:30 pm we were called in again. They told us that the child they want to show us is sleeping - they showed us him sleeping. Beautiful blond hair. He has a bump/ridge on the back of his head - I'm a little concerned about this but cannot see the rest of his body or him moving. I just hope there is nothing wrong with his head.
We go into the Director's Office, he is also the head doctor of the orphanage. He gives us the medical history of the 2 boys. First he talked about Kolya. He was abandoned at birth in the hospital. His mother signed away her parental rights. His mother is Russian, his Father is Ukrainian. He was given the diagnosis of Hydrocephalus. At 5 months of age and ultrasound scan of the brain showed the ventricals to not be enlarged. One doctor said that the diagnosis of hydrocephalus needs to be lifted from his file. He sounds very medically stable. His mother and father could not afford to raise him. They already had 1 child. He sounds wonderful, we would like to see him again - we've only seen him for 1 minute.
Then they gave us the history of the second boy, & they finally told us his name: Sergei "Seriozha" Kosakivsky. He was abandoned at 7 months. They have no birth information on him. They have no information about his mother other than she was born i 1977. No information on his father. At 7 months he weighed 5.7 kg (12 lbs. 8 oz.). He has no diagnosis, all doctors say he is healthy. We, of course, want to see him once he wakes up.
We finished talking with the doctor at 2 pm and Seriozha would not be up from his nap until 3 pm - so we went and found Kolya outside and played with him for an hour. We like him a lot. We fed him an apple. There were 4 kids in this group - they all got a quarter of the apple. Kolya ate his apple then started screaming for more. The care-giver would break off a chunk from one of the other kids and give it to Kolya. He did this until he had eaten all of his and half of all the other kids'. He about bit my finger off with one bite. As long as we kept feeding him he wouldn't cry. He is excellent at manipulating objects. He will turn the apple all around, use both hands, switch it back and forth - he is very good at using his hands & manipulating small objects. We like him a lot and no discussion was needed - we both want to adopt him. He can throw a tantrum though - I think we are going to have our hands full with him.
At 3 pm Seriozha got up from his nap and they brought him out to us. He is beautiful - blond hair, blue eyes. He is chunky. He walks very well, has good balance in a squat. He seems quieter than Kolya. He did not cry much. We played with him inside. We both liked him a lot. When they came to ask us if we wanted to adopt him we said "yes!"
They only showed us two children, but we knew these 2 were our children. Our signs:
1) When we met Kolya for the first time - only 1 minute - he called Orest "Papa" as we were leaving - so we knew it was meant to be.
2) Seriozha looks just like Bohdan and Ted when they were little & like MicroBo. He looked like Orest's family - so we knew it was meant to be.
I prayed for the decision to be easy, for me "to know" somehow which children to pick. My prayers came true - it was easy. We love these 2 children and want to adopt them as our own.
I don't remember a whole lot else from today with all this excitement. I know we had to leave the orphanage quickly and go to the notary to get the paperwork started. We had to give the new names for the children. We chose Andrew Nikolai & Stefan Sergei. The middle names for the boys are their given first names. We plan to call Andrew "Andre".
I am very excited and happy. It hasn't sunk in yet. It has been my wish and dream for a long time to be a mom. It is finally coming true. I don't feel like a mom yet. It hasn't sunk in with Orest either. I'm not nervous anymore. When I think about picking up the children and hopping immediately on the train for a 18 hour train ride to Kiev, I do get a little nervous. I want to get to know the boys better. I want them to recognize me, want to come to me. I want to know how to soothe them when they get upset. I really hope to get to know my sons (that sounds so wierd) before we leave Simferopol.
What a day, what an emotional day. Today at dinner, Zhenya made a toast to "our families - the new families" and I just started to cry. Tears were running down my face. I get choked up when I think about it being for real. It hasn't hit yet that this is really happening. I am going to be a mom!
Now its time for my version of the day. I woke up feeling quite sick. I should never have drank cognac & champagne right after each other. I hadn't managed to keep any of last night's dinner in my stomach. I couldn't eat breakfast either, couldn't even drink any tea. I was really regretting all those drinks last night. This is the most important day of my life amd I'm sick! I took some Pepto and that seemed to settle things a little. Strangely, I wasn't nervous at all about choosing the kids. I've been praying for God to give us healthy kids and today I just have the feeling that the choice will be obvious. I know our staff has done everything possible to find us the very best children, they have talked to the caretakers who work with the children every day and they know who is healthy and who is smart.
So, yesterday Simon told us that we would be first to pick even though another couple had been there before us. We were to arrive there at 9:00, before the other couple's scheduled appointment at 10:00. Simon is so agitated, he just keeps pacing in and out of the orphanage. He disappears for hours at a time, and I assume he is looking over the children, talking to nurses, talking to the director or whatever. Sergei and Pasha met the children yesterday and talked to the caretakers. They have selected several of the very best for us & our travel companions to look at.
Well, things started out poorly. The director didn't even show up to work until 10:00. By that time, of course, the other couple was already there. Simon tried to get us right in, but the director was "busy". Finally at about 11:00 Simon called us in. We walked down the dimly lit hallways into a little, but bright and cheerful coat hall. There were some caretakers and nurses and doctors in the room and a little boy. His name was Kolya. He was walking around kind of stiff legged, but he was obviously curious and alert. Simon said "you want him?" I said "we don't know anything about him, what is his medical history?" Simon said "if you want him, we will meet with director and talk about medical. He is healthy boy, he is nurses favorite." Cheryl and I looked at each other and said "yes, we like him." Simon said "OK, we will keep for you. Let's go." The whole time that we were there, the nurses were trying to get Kolya to say "papa" or "papy". Now as we were leaving, he finally did say it. Pasha said that that was the first time he ever said it to anyone. That was it, 60 seconds and we were walking back down the hallway, unsure of what had just happened. I figured we were going straight to the director's office, but instead, we went back outside. Simon disappeared again. Pasha said "don't worry, he is good boy...the best."
We got back to waiting. While we were waiting, we saw that some of the kids were coming outside to walk and play. We played with some of them while we waited. I was starved and parched and there was no telling how long the wait would continue. Zhenya and Valery drove off to get some lunch. I was certainly thankful for that.
Finally at about 1:30 Simon reappeared. We were to see the second boy, who was sleeping. I wasn't too happy about that, because I wanted to see him moving around. He was certainly cute in his crib. Back out in the hall Simon asked "what do you think?" I said "he looks good but we want to see him awake." Simon said "not until 3:00. Right now we go talk to director. Other family talked to him 3 hours today, that's why we wait so long." So in we went. After we heard the medical history, I was still confident that these boys were for us, but I wanted to see Seriozha walk. So while we were waiting for him to wake up we were able to spend more time with Kolya.
We found that he couldn't eat enough apple and he also likes to throw himself on the ground when he gets upset. We had a very hard time keeping him happy unless we fed him constantly. When it was time for Kolya to go back inside, they brought Seriozha out for us. He was beautiful with blond hair and bright blue eyes. He walked really well, and he had a bit of a belly. He was very calm and peaceful. He looked just like Bo and Ted (my brothers) did at that age. I was satisfied.
So, we had made our decision. I wasn't scared or relieved or overwhelmed (all of which I expected). It just didn't seem real at all. I think it will take some time to realize that these are my sons and I am their daddy (or papa). I still don't feel like a father. I just know that my life changed forever today. I'm excited to see what will happen in the future.
Click here for the next day's journal entry.
or click on any date in:
November
14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30
December
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
or
back to the home page.
