It has finally started to hit me. I have just a few days left in this country I have called home for the past 2 years. Most of my PC friends have already left, making me realize just how much easier it is to leave than to be left behind. My good friend SRose said that to me when I left her behind in Morocco last year. She was on her way back to America and I was heading back to Mauritania for my final year. I had no idea just how true that statement was until now.
Saying goodbye has definitely been one of the hardest things I have ever had to face. It may seem trivial to some, but the friends, family, and strangers here have somehow seeped into my being and become a part of my soul. Even if I wanted to, there is no way I could forget them. The sad part is that I may never see them again. Although I hope to return in a few years, the reality is that some of those I leave behind may not be here when I return. Whether they have moved on to a more promising place, adopted a nomadic lifestyle, or perhaps even died, I have to face the fact that this might be it. Fortunately, I was able to borrow a videocamera and made a souvenir tape of my loved ones. Their voices, smiles, and laughter will be with me forever.
Of course, saying goodbye to PC friends is a bit easier since I will be reconnecting with many of them in America. Cat, my roommate of 2 years, just left the other day. We have been affectionately known as an honorary married couple since we share so much together, good times and bad. In honor of her last night, we celebrated with a low-key spaghetti dinner, birthday cake for her 26th birthday, and a bonfire. A bonfire, you ask? Yes, that was my brilliant idea. Cat has spent the better part of 2 years wearing some of the most raggedy clothes I have ever seen. After many attempts to convince her that wearing holey clothes is not in fashion, even in a conservative Islamic nation, she finally saw the wisdom and took to only wearing that garb around the house. As a way to say out with the old and in with the new, we ceremoniously burned all her holey shirts and pants. In addition, with each piece of paper we added to the fire, we had to symbolically say goodbye to one of the less memorable moments of life in Mauritania--crowded taxis, kids yelling toubab, adults pestering you for visas, problems with administrative details, etc. Let's just say that the fire burned brightly for quite a while.
Having said all that, of course, I will remember the good times far longer than I will remember the bad. Now, it's on to the next journey of my life as I travel through South Africa, Zimbabwe, Zambia, Malawi, Tanzania, Rwanda, Kenya, and Ethiopia.
Janine
with a bonfire