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Sometimes you just get these little crazy thoughts in your head that you just can’t let go of. Those things that eat you up and play with your mind. Sometimes you just feel like screaming and shouting until you fall asleep. Tonight can be one of those nights. Where is up right now….It looks like the ceiling above… but it is the floor I want to hit.

In a perfect world, we have this notion that if things go as planned, everything is supposed to turns out as is. It will be the splendor that we all have designed. But with life, comes all these little factors, that when into play, can change everything. Nothing in this lifetime is guaranteed. So should we live in a happy bliss pretending that perfection is something to expect, or just worry about the world that is not there, filled with all these different distractions and roadblocks… The human psyche has the tendency to worry. It tells us that if it’s possible, it’s possible. Again the floor looks really good now.

I contemplate these thoughts. Is this really just something of the moment, or are these genuine concerns I have manifested. Reasoning would say that I am just a dumbass, but conventional thinking says I could be right. I look at the butterfly effect. Walk away. Run as far away and see how world looks in absence, only to stand by in the sidelines to observe. Break the chain to see it will fall back together. Sounds a little out of hand, doesn’t it? But as a classic fool, I see that the only path to the truth, sometimes has some drastic requirements….ones that will probably sound a little absurd in the morning.

With my peace on paper, I am ready to drop the hammer and laugh at the insecurities that I have created. Tomorrow will bring many shakes of the head and a clearer mind. I know the world of perfection does not exist, but I have to believe that is does. Any other life will only lead to late night sleepless rambles about nothing but ashes in dirt. Disillusioned and pained, momentary weakness has no equality for a lifetime. We all want to do what we feel. We all want to do the imaginary rights and perceived wrongs. We all want to scream.

I just need to lay my head and make pretend of this oh so perfect world…