Sept. 6, 2004
The room is spinning. Where am I? Why is the head so heavy and this thumping happening with each breath. I can’t keep my eyes open and the pillow seems like such a retreat as conciseness is repelled and the dreamland is all I can escape to.
Moments of black clouded memories. Is this a dream or am I recalling some fuzzy events? My eyes open for a second again to glance at my phone, hoping to make out the numbers that resemble some statement of time… It is 10:00am and I am supposed to get up to do something that eludes me. The water I have guzzled with a twin dose of pain relievers does nothing for me in the immediate to remove these cobwebs from my head.
Soon these memories and flashbacks start to blend into my current state of perspective… I am trying to begin my day without focus. I try to remember the moments of joy and laughter….which I soon to realize, may have just been a drunken fool’s playful nature. The playboy debonair was not so cool, calm, and collected.
The morning after the heaving binge of alcohol consumption is never clear… but usually I can smile or laugh… It has been so long since these types of days have been enjoyable. I fear that the times have passed us and these drunk and stupid adventures are beyond reliance… but they sure are fun.
Always in the morning, we fear looking at our wallets to re-cont our money (if there is any left). We hope that our credit cards are still there. We hope that our numbers were not passed out and available like late night dating infomercial hotlines. We hope that there is no blood on our shirts. We hope that the memories in our head were of true events… and the ones that are missing were not significant enough to be remembered by other either….
This morning is a write off…. But there sure are smiles… I think it is time to retire from these nights… Well, until next time I wake up with the room spinning...