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Time: 8:17pm

Where are the thoughts at today...

Time: 8:18pm

a minute passes and nothing has changed...

Time: 8:18pm

I am still here... here with my thoughts and nothing to say because my mind is too filled with nonsense and irrelevant issues. My eyes tell me that this keyboard is real and that the words that pass are just the way my mind is interpreting what I am trying to say... but in an instance I know that I am so clouded up in here that all I can do is babble. I babble because I do not want to return to a regular life... it's just so much easier to just daydream...

Time: 8:21pm

Another check on the time.. still here in la la land...

Time:

Today I figured out that from the moment when I wake... I have absolutely no clue what I am doing but yet in some strange way my day passes without notice. My hands grasp the toothbrush in the morning while taking my hot shower. I drive to work in a zombie state instinctively making the turns onto the streets to get me to a place I do not want to be at. I sit in front of the computer for eight hours staring aimlessly at pixels that change positions to formulate some words.... I eat, only because of a funny feeling I get around noon.... and once again slightly after I get home from work.... and now, I still have no clue what I am doing... but I just do it and although nothing makes sense, my world does seem to have some sort of structure...

I contend that I am starting to lose it but I just wish it would come on in full burst because I cant wait. I just hate waiting. At least when I snap, I'd have an excuse for everything..... the crazy always have a reason for everything...they're crazy... There'd be an excuse to do nothing, sit back, relax. Put this complicated life on hold. No reason or purpose... and just live and take it one step at a time.... until things start to make sense again... The concept of time and related achievement would not matter. No one can judge or make assumptions. Everything is just as you can imagine because it is concepted in your head... and for once it can make sense because it doesn't....

Crazy....

Yah, Crazy sounds good...

Time: 8:34pm