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The only follow up they wanted was if I didn�t feel better in 2 days to go to the clinic in North Mankato. Hello, of course I didn�t feel better. So I went to the clinic and this doctor actually said it wasn�t the flu, like the other 3 had. He thought it was possibly an infection of the pelvic area. So he ran some tests and put me on an antibiotic. He also scheduled an ultrasound to see if there was anything wrong that no one had bothered to look for. I did begin feeling better on the antibiotic.

Before I was to have the ultrasound though, Kevin and I discussed our health insurance since we weren�t married yet. We were engaged and I had my own health insurance that we were paying monthly on and it was getting rather expensive. Also being as I wasn�t Kevin�s wife, he wasn�t able to get family leave from work when I was sick. We decided that we would get married as soon as we could. We were already planning on getting married the next year so we just moved it up for those reasons. The morning of my ultrasound, we went to the courthouse and we married by a justice of the peace.

The ultrasound was not the most pleasant thing. It hurt quite a bit when they were doing it around my ribs and upper abdomen. It did come back that I may have had a slight pelvic infection. The infection didn�t look bad and the antibiotics should be taking care of it.

For a couple weeks I did feel better. That was until the antibiotics were gone. I went back to the doctor and he wasn�t sure what else it could be since the antibiotics should�ve cleared up the infection. He ended up sending me to a gynecologist since he was just a family doctor and didn�t specialize in that area.

I got a great doctor. I felt I could talk to him and that can be hard to do with an OB/GYN sometimes. He sent me for a CT scan. That was the most unpleasant thing I�ve ever had to do in my life. I couldn�t eat the night before and had to go in the morning of and have some blood tests done. I wasn�t even supposed to drink water. I had never felt so terrible and weak before. The receptionist came out and got me a wheelchair since I looked so bad. After the blood tests we went to the x-ray part of the clinic and they were able to get my appointment upped an hour. I still wasn�t supposed to eat or drink anything. Talk about not fun. So we went back later that afternoon for the scan. I had to drink some really nasty tasting stuff that they swore tasted better because they put juice in it. Maybe they should try it to see since it didn�t help the taste. Then I had the lovely scan. Yet again nothing was found to be wrong.

So with nothing wrong there, the new doctor wanted to send me to a surgeon to see if they wanted to possibly do a laparoscopic surgery to see if they could find something. When we called to get an appointment with them, they said it would another week before they could get me in. That was not soon enough so Kevin called our insurance and they said we didn�t need referrals and could go anywhere we wanted. We called Mayo Clinic and I was given an appointment for the next afternoon.

Before I ever went to Mayo though I did have an episode where I thought there was something wrong with my heart. Kevin had gone to work and after he left my heart was racing and it felt like it was going to jump out of my body. I felt extremely nauseous and very worried. I called him at work even before he got there. Once he said he was on his way back home I started feeling a tiny bit better. He didn�t want to take me to Mankato so we went to Rochester�s St. Mary�s ER. I knew it wasn�t a heart attack but wanted to have my heart checked out anyway. Once the doctor there saw me and talked to me a bit, he ordered an EKG, but before he left the room he asked if I had panic attacks. I told him no because I didn�t think I ever had and hadn�t ever thought that what I was going through was panic attacks. What would I have to be panicked about? It turned out that there was nothing wrong with my heart.

At my appointment at Mayo, the doctor checked everything out. I had more blood drawn � this lady did an excellent job of it too since I didn�t even feel the needle prick. She, the new doctor, thought it could be an ulcer but wanted to try some medication for acid reduction first. So I was put on Pepcid in prescription strength. I also got another appointment with a gynecologist there.

He scared the heck out of me. For my lower abdominal pains he said it could be a number of things. The first was endometriosis. Then PID which is pelvic inflammatory disease. The next was RSD which is a nerve disorder. He thought it could be that since it seemed that everything that was supposed to give pleasure was giving pain. He also said that there wasn�t really anything you can do for this other than pain meds. Not a fun thought. The last, and most horrible, was blood pockets in my uterus. The only way to find that out was to have a hysterectomy. So if I wanted another child I should do that soon and have a hysterectomy after the next child. He wanted to schedule a laparoscopic surgery to rule out endometriosis and I should call my doctor to see when that was.

Thank goodness my doctor said that I�d have to see a gynecological surgeon before she could schedule the surgery. She did get a physical therapy appointment for me though since the other doctor wanted me to try that also.

What the physical therapist said made a lot of sense to me. I was having pain with intercourse and she said that she sees that rather frequently with patients who were cut during delivery. It also happens to women who have had a mastectomy. The scar tissue isn�t stretched like it would be on the knee or elbow so it pulls tight. This meant that I would have to �work� the area to get the skin to stretch so the scar tissue wouldn�t keep pulling tight. Kevin liked that idea.

The gynecological surgeon didn�t think it was any of the things the other guy did. He wanted to see how the physical therapy worked and also thought birth control pills might help the pain. So I was put on birth control pills. That didn�t last longs as they made me feel really sick.

Before I went to the surgeon and therapist I had a major migraine that required me to go to the ER in Waseca to get some shots that would help get rid of it. The doctor that was there that night was a joke. The nurse knew more than the doctor did. She even asked about if I ever hurt myself. My only guess on that is from the scar on my wrist that I�ve had since I was a little girl. We also told her about my stomach issues and she still told me to take ibuprofen for any headaches. Little did I know at the time that ibuprofen can cause stomach pains. So she did me more harm than good. I found that out my next visit with the doctor at Mayo.

The birth control pills combined with the ibuprofen were causing me nasty pains again. This time the doctor changed my medicine from Pepcid to Prilosec, the purple pill. This worked great and for a bit I felt better in almost all aspects of life again. Keep in mind that all of these things have happened before the end of March 2000.

Every time I would have to go to the doctor I wouldn�t sleep at all the night before. My stomach would be in knots and I�d often feel nauseous before leaving. Once there I�d have to focus on a magazine or playing with Trevor so I didn�t panic. I was even given a personality test. It didn�t show anything or hint that I maybe having panic attacks.

That June we moved to a bigger place in Waseca. Things were going fine for awhile. I was getting out and driving in town. I was still feeling a little shaky when I�d go to get in the car but things would be fine for a bit while driving. The town wasn�t big so I wouldn�t be out driving for long.

During that summer I started seeing commercials that talked about panic disorder and medicine for it. I would change the channel when they came on because I didn�t want to think that could be what was wrong with me. I didn�t want to believe there was something wrong with my mind and I needed medication for it. Then I would gradually think that maybe I have those problems but I can work them out on my own. I didn�t need help.

My grandparents and uncle drove out to visit sometime that summer also. My uncle had built a toy chest for Trevor in the design of an old buckboard wagon. It�s really cute and holds lots of toys. He had also built him a rocking horse the year before. While they were here they wanted to go out to dinner and, of course, I made a little fuss about not feeling comfortable about it just yet. I was going to have to until Kevin came down with something and we all just stayed in for dinner. Being as I had made a little fuss about it, I talked a little to my grandma about it, but not in depth. Of course I was told I just needed to get out and I�d get better. If only it was that simple.

Things were going okay after that. I was planning for our wedding the next summer. Even though we were already married I still wanted to have the ceremony and reception as we originally planned on. So I was getting things together for that and having Kelli and Christy over to find their bridesmaid dresses. Even though they came down so that we could have all our dresses from the same place, I never drove to the store being as it was in Mankato which was half an hour away from home. So they were kind and understanding enough to drive. If I didn�t tell them the whole story about why I was asking them to drive, they still did. What great friends to just take me at my word.