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It was the day after Thanksgiving 1998, Kevin and I had just moved to Waseca that day and that evening we went to a hockey game in Mankato. After the first period I got up to use the bathroom and when I came back and sat down I started feeling really dizzy, lightheaded and I couldn�t really focus. Kevin and a few others said I looked really pale. We left then and on the way to the car I got physically sick. I was pregnant at the time and chalked it up to the fact we had just moved and it had been a long day with just too much excitement and I hadn�t been taking care of myself properly.

A few weeks later Kevin and I were going to do some Christmas shopping. We stopped to eat before shopping. Things were fine until we were done and just waiting for the check. The same things as before started happening. The only difference was that I didn�t get sick this time. We just figured it was just too much going on around me and with all the hormones in my body that it was a little much.

After that we didn�t go out much for fear that it would happen again. It was about that time too that I started showing. I�d started gaining weight around the age of 13 and struggled with it since. So it was very hard for me to get bigger, even though I knew it was because of Trevor growing. Even knowing that, I still had a really hard time and thought people were looking at me negatively. Like, look at her, she�s big enough as it is without being pregnant. Then came the thoughts that people were thinking bad things about me since Kevin and I weren�t married. So what little self-esteem I had got lower.

The week before I was due, Kevin and I were out shopping while my car was getting fixed. I started feeling weird again and this time I got blind spots in my left eye. We left to go see if my car was ready so we could pay for it. I could barely see to write the check. We decided to just go home and come back the next day to get my car since I was in no shape to drive. Not long after heading home, things went back to normal.

I didn�t tell my doctor about these episodes because I figured I could handle them and it was all part of being pregnant. After all I had quit taking my prenatal vitamins because they made me sick every time I took them. What was the use of taking them only to have them come back up only a couple minutes later?

I had Trevor six days before I turned 24. It really took a lot out of me, especially since I was not in shape at all. I was really weak after and didn�t eat much since the food was terrible. I didn�t have much of an appetite either.

Over the next month or so I�d get the blind spots in my left eye every now and then. It wouldn�t last long but it really unnerved me. I attributed it to still not being back to where I was before. Even though I was breastfeeding, I still wasn�t getting enough of the right things to eat. So everything I was getting was going straight to Trevor. Also during that time I passed out and got a concussion from hitting my head on the concrete step outside our place. My vision has had issues since then.

Before having Trevor we decided, or more I did, that I would stay at home with Trevor. Eventually I would try working at home through Young America�s program. So that summer I took Trevor places and was feeling fine. I would feel a little nervous but just pushed it aside. That fall I went to visit a friend up in the cities. We were going to go out to dinner. When we got there, we put our names on the waiting list and went to a little coffee shop across the parking lot. While in there, I felt light-headed and had to even put Trevor down in his car seat because I was afraid I�d drop him I felt so weak. I got some water and we went outside to sit and wait. I felt better after the water and out of the coffee smell. Then we went to sit inside the restaurant to wait. Trevor was in his carrier and fell asleep quick. That was when I started feeling bad again. This time I said something and we left. I had to have Kelli carry Trevor back to the car being as I felt so weak and she drove my car to a drive thru and back to her house. I felt so terrible that I couldn�t even eat. It just made me sick to my stomach but at least my head was feeling like it wasn�t going to spin off. So we decided that I really shouldn�t be driving the hour home that night. She had a guest room so Trevor and I stayed the night. The next day driving home I still felt a little off but okay to drive home.

That next week I started working at home. Kevin�s parents watched Trevor while I went into the office to do the training. Driving to their house I felt off again while waiting at a stop light, but waved it off as nerves. The training went fine and I started working from home that day. I would have to pick up the work across town at a drop off site each day and leave my finished work there too. Things were going smoothly with it for awhile.

With what happened at Kelli�s house I was very uneasy about doing things in public. We were flying out to visit my parents in Montana in October and I didn�t want to risk having it happen again before we flew out to see them. So we turned down things until we got back from out trip.

The first thing to get past was the airport. I didn�t feel all that comfortable while we were taking the shuttle or sitting in the gate area. So Kevin carried Trevor and most of the luggage so that I wouldn�t drop anything if I had another spell. On the plane I felt better and was able to sleep for a bit with Trevor on my lap. While we were at my parents I did feel better. Maybe it�s because I was around my mom or in a different scene. I�m not sure, but I know I�ve always felt better around my mom, well, because she�s Mom. Either that or I felt I had to be strong and not let it show I was having a hard time. I�m really not sure. We did go out to eat and I did voice some of my fears about it. I was able to do okay while we were out since we sat in the back where it wasn�t crowded. Plus I always seemed to do better when Kevin was there because it lent me a little comfort knowing that he knew the signs and what to do when it happened. My grandparents and uncle came over too while we were there to see Trevor and meet Kevin. The day that we were to fly back to Minnesota was not a good day. My dad was going to take us to the airport, but as usual, he runs behind and thinks nothing of it � just ask my mom. So I was nervous as it was and his being late made me worse and I lost my lunch before we left. Thankfully he did get us to the airport on time, barely, but we made it. I don�t like feeling rushed so that just added to the nerves. I was able to get some sleep this time too with Trevor asleep on my lap. The rest of the way home I was fine. Trevor also weaned himself on this trip so things changed again in my body.

The next day I had to take Trevor to his 6 month check up. I did fine driving that day, but it was the last time I drove outside of town for about 2 years.

The week after we got home I started getting really sick. My stomach hurt, I felt nauseous, weak and light-headed rather frequently. Kevin took me to the clinic in Waseca and the doctor that I saw was a big joke. She was more concerned with how Trevor was doing than with me. So she said it was most likely just the flu and to just wait it out. Well, a few nights later I got terrible stomach pains. I thought maybe I had an ulcer or something else was wrong. So we went to the clinic again but with a different doctor this time. He thought it maybe an ulcer but wanted to give me some medicine to see if it wasn�t something else first. So he gave me some medicine and some pain medicine too. So of course the pains went away which made him believe it wasn�t an ulcer. I was out of work for most of November because of being sick for most of the month. I did go back to work during December. I did have stomach pains during December but they were bearable and I just dealt with them. I thought maybe I was pushing myself too much and that if I lightened my load they would go away.

Well, they didn�t. One day in January while I was going to drop off and pick up work, I just about passed out. It scared the daylights out of me. I got home as quickly as I could and called Kevin at work. He came home right away. I hadn�t eaten anything yet that morning; it was only about 8 a.m. so we figured it must just be that being as I began to feel better after eating some cereal. The next day I didn�t work since I was still feeling bad. The next few days I still felt poorly and had started to get sick every night. With that I would get extremely dizzy too. So Kevin took me to the hospital in Mankato since we had just gotten nothing from the clinic in Waseca. It was about 9 at night when we got there. I got sick while there and all that good stuff. I was put on IVs and blood tests were done. The only thing they could find was that my potassium was on the low side. So I got some nasty neon yellow stuff to drink but being as I couldn�t get it down, they gave it to me in the IV. About midnight Kevin left so that he could get some sleep and Trevor could as well being as they were nowhere near letting me go. I was asking to just be admitted so that I could get some sleep and they could monitor me for a bit. No go on that. They said the doctor wouldn�t do it and I could leave against medical advice though. So about 1 a.m. they said it was fine to go home. I called Kevin and he came back to get me.