DISCLAIMER: Hah!
SUMMARY: 'When She Was Bad'. We left everybody at the warehouse, what happened
afterwards? B/A
WORDCOUNT: 1259
A.N.: Written for Ashley at the Old Skool Ficathon.
Teeny Weeny Award at Lie To Me Awards, By Jove, Joss Was Right! Award at The Potential Awards.
WAY TO HOPE
by Leni
Buffy dropped the sledgehammer, the bones on the table crushed to dust before her.
Finally. It was over. Over.
The tears fell before she could think of stopping them.
"It's okay. It's okay," a gentle voice said behind her.
No, it wasn't, Buffy wanted to scream. She was only sixteen, she was not supposed to
pulverise her enemies' bones as some sort of intensive therapy. She even turned around to
say it, but when she noticed the worry in Angel's eyes she decided that maybe, just maybe,
everything was really okay right now. Buffy leaned into him with the crazy idea that he'd
protect her. And when his hesitant arms closed around her, she forced herself to believe
that yes, everything was okay.
Sounds startled her, and from her place in Angel's embrace she noticed her friends
climbing down the stairs. They stood before her and Buffy lowered her eyes. She couldn't
bear to look at them now, not knowing that she'd failed them. Then she remembered how
she'd failed Angel too. Why would he hold her? She tugged herself away, but the arms that
had been loosely around her suddenly tightened. "Don't," he whispered so quietly
that she was sure her friends couldn't hear it.
Buffy counted her blessings and didn't try to free herself again.
"Buffy?"
Giles. She raised her head slowly, knowing she couldn't face him. Finally she settled for
looking in his general direction.
"Are you alright?" His voice sounded gentle and soothing and Buffy might have
crumbled in tears if she wasn't gripping Angel's coat for all she was worth. She finally
nodded, still looking at a point behind Giles' head. Even so, she could feel Willow and
Xander fidgeting at his side. Cordelia was long gone, surely in a furious fit. Stealing a
quick glance at her friends (ex friends?), she found their worried expressions directed at
her, even when Xander's arm was around Willow's waist supporting her and Miss Calendar was
resting her hand slightly on Giles' forearm.
In any other occasion, Buffy would have reflected that something good came out of the
whole ordeal. But this wasn't any other occasion, so she bit her lower lip and awaited
their judgement.
It never came.
They slowly walked out the warehouse, muttering reassurances and that they'd see each
other the next day. Giles reminded her quietly that he wanted to see her first thing in
the morning. Finally, only Buffy and Angel were left in the centre of the room, tears
escaping her again as she sobbed silently on Angel's shoulder. He didn't say a word, just
patted her back softly, the awkward movement somehow managing to calm her.
"Walk me home?" she asked after a while, because suddenly the thought of the
Master's remains only some feet away made her shiver in revulsion.
His arms lowered at his sides to let her go. Buffy looked at him, still unwilling to break
the close contact. Her hand went to take his and only in the last second she remembered
how mean she'd been to him during the last days too. Why was he being so nice?
As if he'd sensed her discomfort, his hand closed the gap and he smiled at her before
taking the first step.
They didn't say a word for several minutes, and Buffy felt comfortable in the silence. She
let him lead the way home, interested in the shortcuts Angel took through the town. Maybe,
if they were still in good terms after he realised that she was too immature, too young
and too problematic, she could convince him to go on patrols with her. She could use
someone who knew the streets as much as he apparently did.
Buffy glanced at the vampire beside her. Again, the question rose unbidden in her mind.
Why? He had been there since she returned, with the helpful hints she had so rudely
dismissed. He had backed her up in her stupid solo mission, even when anyone with some
common sense would have let her get what she deserved. He'd been there for her when
everything finally crumbled down, in those last seconds when she'd been so confused and
scared he hadn't hesitated to calm and hold her... "Thank you," she muttered
shyly, "for everything."
"You're welcome." He tightened the hand around hers, making her glance down at
their entwined fingers. Then she noticed the large gash along Angel's coat and she
flashbacked to how she'd held onto it when Giles had tried to talk with her. Her face
burned and she stalled for several moments before she could bring herself to apologise for
her childish, and apparently destructive too, behaviour.
Angel only looked at the hole and shook his head. "Don't worry about it," he
said, chuckling softly.
"But---"
"I said don't worry, really."
Buffy hung her head. He had been so good with her tonight and here she was destroying his
wardrobe. "I'll give you back your jacket," she said, absolutely not wanting to
do that. The leather jacket was hidden deep in her closet, where her mother couldn't see
the obviously for-men garment, wonder at its presence and begin asking uncomfortable
questions. In the months before the final battle with the Master, Buffy had treasured it
like the silly schoolgirl which a crush she was. Even after that horrible night, she still
brought it out from its hiding place before she went to L.A., cuddling with it on her bed
and trying to keep the tears and the fury at bay.
"Nonsense," he said after the long silence, pulling Buffy out of her reverie.
"That one looks better on you, didn't I tell you so?"
Buffy blushed again, but for a whole different reason.
"I'll find something else at my apartment."
"I hope it's leather," she murmured without thinking.
He chuckled.
"It... uh..." Buffy smiled sheepishly, hoping that he'd behave and let her slip
go. Instead Angel cocked an eyebrow, obviously expecting her to complete her sentence.
"You'd look good in it," she finally relented.
He chuckled again. "Don't worry, leather it is."
Her inner cheerleader gave a big whoop in her head. Buffy certainly couldn't blame her.
Too soon, they arrived at her house. They stood in front of it in silence, neither wanting
to loosen their hands.
"I..." Buffy began, noticing that the living-room light was on. Her mother would
kill her for arriving this late.
"Yes, I know." He separated his fingers from hers and Buffy tried to smile even
when her bereft fingers felt odd all of sudden.
"Thank you, again."
Angel nodded. "I'll..." the sentence drifted off as if he wasn't sure how to
continue it.
She caught the question in his eyes and it made hope rear its head in her heart. "See
you tomorrow?" He smiled. She smiled back, this time for real. "Sure."
They looked at each other, and Buffy was suddenly aware that there was a
goodbye-at-the-door custom that was still to be done. Did it count if they were across the
street? Or if they weren't back from a date but from a cataclysmic night?
She really didn't care. On her tiptoes, Buffy pecked his lips lightly, jumping back before
he could react. She practically ran the few yards to her porch, not looking back. She
really didn't want to know if he'd have pulled her closer or away. It was too much emotion
for a night already.
But before she closed the door, she nervously glanced to where they'd been standing.
Of course, he wasn't there anymore.
The End
19/05/04
Feedback is always welcome.
