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DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Never mine. Can't be mine.
TIMELINE: Placed in a world where AtS never existed. Seven years after
'G2'.
SUMMARY: Angel. Wow, now that was a short summary! *g*
WORDCOUNT: 695
SZ
by Leni
You don't even know why you came back.
Maybe you just had to.
(No, you didn't)
Maybe you saw the city sign on your way to nowhere and the wheels of your car lead you
here.
(No, they didn't)
Maybe you even came purposely to witness this.
(No, you didn't.)
Maybe... and this is as real as you'll get... maybe you were moving the boxes in your
brand new apartment and one of the old albums slipped out. You opened it carelessly
(your subconscious wouldn't let you remember which album it was until you had opened it)
...and then old photographs and old memories were blatantly in front of you and... well,
you couldn't help but sit on your brand new sofa and go over the pictures you never had
the heart to burn, over the faces you never had the heart to forget...
and remember you had not always been so alone...
not always spent Friday nights going over old memories but making them.
Making
Memories.
and why not come back to the old town to get some closure and finally move on?
(move on to make brand new memories)
Did I mention you've been trying to build a brand new life for seven years already?
You tried in Los Angeles, in Mexico and Sao Paulo.
You tried in Tokyo, in Moscou and Pekin.
You even tried in Prague, and you fled there in less than a week.
And came back to this country, brought all your bags, boxes and souvenirs to a brand new
apartment and one night later decided to finally and conclusively
Move
On.
And oh yes, you certainly do when you see her through the window.
She is still as petite and slender as ever, even if a tad less blonde... is her favourite
dye out of the market nowadays? you wonder inanely.
But she is still as beautiful as ever, isn't she?
Of course she is.
And for a short moment - just a lost little second running scared after its mommy - you
knew *why* you came here.
The maybes disappeared and, well, you knew that...
...she was married and being kissed lovingly good night by a handsome man.
Oh no, oops, sorry, I went too fast. I had to talk first about that (now lost forever)
moment when you realised that you came back for, to, and because of her,
that moment you promptly forget as soon as the unknown man takes her hand, brings it to
his cheek and kisses it with a smile.
This is the end, you think.
You turn back and
go
far away
far far away
back to your lonely brand new apartment where your memories aren't married to handsome men
who still kiss their hands as true gentlemen
(and don't leave them standing alone without even goodbye)
Well, you wanted closure, didn't you?
(No, you really didn't, but I don't think this is the right moment to remind you)
And this is as closure-y as it gets.
Or not, you think with a sarcastic grin as you hear the baby crying and practically feel
her footsteps racing over (your heart) the house to comfort him.
And you think you know everything now, don't you?
You know your life can't belong here and you know hers does.
Poor fool.
You don't know that rather than hurrying to a crying baby she is escaping from fear.
((fear I can never love you enough, fear I am forever loved too much))
You don't know that she can never smile when a handsome husband kisses her hand.
((a hand which was six feet under shouldn't be kissed by you who weren't, who can't know))
You don't know that she loves him, and yet she cries herself to sleep every night
((hush, my sweet baby, hush, can't you see that momma cries enough for both of us?))
cries so softly as not to wake her family, cries ever so silently as not to wake herself.
And you still think you know everything.
And you still turn back and go far away.
And you still think: This Is The End.
And you know what?
It really is.
The End
07/08/03
Feedback
is always good
DEDICATION/INSPIRATION: For Ricardo Arjona's 'Minutos' video. I only
made it a B/A story. In the video the man goes to prison for live leaving his pregnant
girlfriend alone. Seven years later a lawyer gets him free but when he goes visit his ex,
well, you know... It truly is a bittersweet story because all that time in prison he had
the pendant she had given him...
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