DISCLAIMER: No Joss, no own.
SUMMARY: "If anyone asked, Oz would always say it was Xander’s fault."
WORDCOUNT: 917
Dating A Nun Award at The Potential Awards.
SHOPPING FOR GIRLS
by Leni
If anyone asked, Oz would always say it was Xander’s fault.
Of course, if anyone asked, it would mean that Xander had opened his big mouth. Oz
wasn’t sure there’d be a Xander to blame if that happened.
It had begun simply, with Xander’s call early in the morning of a June 6th.
*
“Tomorrow is Willow’s birthday!”
Oz made a noise that could be considered a ‘yes’ but in reality was a ‘Of
course it is. And you’re supposed to be her best friend?’
“I’ve got nothing for her!” Xander continued, panic in his voice. Oz
wondered for a second what that had to do with him. “Man, you gotta help me. I cannot
face the Wilster with nothing for her.”
Oz tried not to comment on the unlikely nickname, instead focusing in stopping what he
thought would be coming if Xander indeed enlisted his help.
“Xander, I...”
“Look, I have some money, but not enough for a really nice gift. Oz, she’s your
girlfriend. You don’t want her all disappointed because her big fool of a bestest
friend didn’t have money, do you?”
Oz privately thought that the sole fact of Xander calling himself ‘big fool’
accounted to agreeing to whichever plan the dark-haired boy may have.
“Let’s say we both pull our savings together. Come on, Oz, you are my last hope.
Cordelia and Buffy are going on their own, having one of their weird ‘let’s see
who’s best’ contests with this occasion.” He paused. “At least Willow
is gonna get really cool presents out of it.”
Oz smiled briefly, thinking of Willow’s happy expression when she opened her gifts.
Then he frowned. Xander was right, she would be disappointed if Xander’s was a
crappy gift.
“Please?”
The things he did for love! Oz only said “Okay.” and winced when the loud whoop
came down the phone.
*
That was how he’d found himself at the mall with Xander, closing his eyes and wishing
for a hellmouth to open directly under his feet.
His girlfriend’s friend just couldn’t stay quiet. Xander ran from shop window to
shop window, calling aloud the pros and cons of everything his eyes fell on and then
complaining even more loudly about the high prices. Oz sighed. In Willow that behaviour
was cute, innocent and kinda alluring. Xander was just driving him crazy.
Hours passed and Xander still hadn’t decided, apparently nothing was enough for
‘their’ girl. When the other boy suddenly shut up, Oz opened his eyes in hope
– maybe a demon had eaten Xander?
“I got it,” Oz heard him whisper.
He lifted his eyes and felt them bulge as he stared at the display. “Oh no...”
He shook his head. “Nonononono...”
“It’s perfect!"
"No way."
Xander ignored him. "That green is her colour, she has always loved some blueish
tones in her greens...”
Oz couldn’t deny that, Willow’s closet was full to the brim with green skirts
and green shirts... He doubted she actually had one of those though. Not that there
had been a chance for him to find out.
“...and the girls would never think of something like this...”
No, the girls wouldn’t, Oz thought, because they obviously had a bit more common
sense. Was Xander actually thinking of buying that for his Willow?
“... Willow would totally love it...”
She would? Oz lifted an eyebrow.
“Think about it. It's nice, it's comfortable and if necessary it can be used
for." Xander blushed a bit and he abruptly stopped his sentence. "You know...
No. Wait." His eyes narrowed. "You better don't know."
Oz blinked.
Apparently Xander took that as an affirmative because he resumed his speech.
"It’s perfect! She has always wanted one like this. Not too short, not too
big... ”
Oz stared at the boy in front of him. Since when had his girlfriend begun talking
to Xander about stuff like this?
“Man, it’s perfect,” Xander repeated. "And within our
budget." He was already taking a determined step in the store’s direction.
“We will totally beat the girls.”
Oz shot an arm to try to stop him, but it was in vain. He watched helplessly as Xander
advanced towards the forbidden territory. “Xander,” Oz warned,
”Don’t!”
Too late. Xander was grinning from ear to ear, one foot into the store. Oz glanced once
again at the smiling mannequin in the sexy teddy and finally had proof that Xander was
certifiable. With a deep sigh, Oz followed the other boy, but was surprised when he bumped
into him.
Xander was rooted to the spot and, as soon as Oz looked around, he was too. His mouth
opened in a perfect O as he couldn't even make the sound. Daniel Osbourne, the one whose
wildest reaction was a thin-lipped smile, blushed to the root of his hair. With a single
sweep through the room, he realised that this wasn’t a feminine underwear shop. And,
hadn't that been bad enough a thought? Instead of the flimsy camisoles he’d intended
to find, all around him were sex toys of many shapes and sizes with tags like 'The Highest
Pleasure' and 'Find your Inner Dom'.
“Uh...” Xander managed.
Still making incongruous noises and trying not to hit anything as they backed back into
the corridor with closed eyes, both boys managed to awkwardly leave the room.
*
When the fresh air had refreshed Oz and his thoughts were manageably coherent, he swore
one and only one thing to himself: If anyone asked, Oz would always say it was
Xander’s fault.
The End
06/06/04
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