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DISCLAIMER: Nope.
SUMMARY: "Years later Buffy would remember that she'd always been the one to
initiate their kisses."
WORDCOUNT: 762
NOTES: Written for Ducks.
KISSES
by Leni
Years later Buffy would remember that she had always been the one to initiate their
kisses. Even that first, oh so awkward first kiss, totally her fault. Well, it was Angel's
fault if you considered that he'd dared stand there, looking so lost, nervous and
out-of-place. She'd just thought a kiss would make him better, a little more confident.
It'd be months until he confessed that she'd achieved her goal, for that millisecond
before she screamed and he jumped out of the window, that is. It took lots of his kisses
to make up for the disaster that was their first one, she remembers that too.
Years later Buffy would be completely sure she had been the one to kiss first. That night
at the ice rink? She can still remember how his hair had felt soft as she pulled him to
her. Not that Angel was resisting, he probably was even smiling. It had been nice, that
kiss. Nice and long and it'd made her wish for a moment she wasn't so young and so
insecure. It'd made her wish she had left clear weeks before that she was comfortable
around him, being his girlfriend, whatever he looked like. She hadn't been able to
understand how he couldn't know it already. It'd taken lots of his kisses to make
up for the fact that he hadn't trusted her to really love him, she remembers that.
Years later Buffy could bet that she'd been the one to kiss him before Sunnydale went
down. It had been a long kiss, that one, especially when you considered that there was an
End of the World waiting for her at home. But she was sure she'd made the first step
towards Angel, gone to her tiptoes and, voilá, kissed him. In that moment she wasn't lost
or nervous or out-of-place. For one precious millisecond she was sixteen and didn't know
anything about the world but her duty and her love. Then the moment went away, and Angel
with it, but Buffy had a fight to fight and a world to save and, really, there was no time
for romance.
Years later Buffy would understand that she took herself too seriously back then. Or too
non-seriously because, cookies? There were certainly better metaphors to make and
Apocalypses plus kissing exes should not cause brain damage. But she's Buffy, and she's
the senior Slayer, and her life has always been the wackiest of the wack. Please don't
make her tell you about her loves. So she left Sunnydale, and she had to cross an ocean
because temptation was two hours away and, really, how was a girl to do a job when two
hours was such a little thing? Especially when she wished he'd kiss her to make up for the
time that kept running between them.
But there was still a duty to serve and, even with more players in the game, Buffy was
still the leader the Hellmouth groomed her to be. So she resisted temptation by going away
and helped her people for months and months and months. Until she realised there were more
things for her to do than re-building a Council and playing mom to the newest Slayers. So
she left, and decided to help by not getting in their way. She's sure she still has Giles'
Thank You card somewhere.
Italy was fun. Dawn was fun. Nagging Andrew was terrific and meeting the Immortal (funny
nickname, that one. Buffy's guys always have a thing for the grand names) was just what
she needed at the time. Oh yes, she had a big time.
For two years and a half, plus some weeks. Never ask Buffy Summers to be exact, she's the
one who insists that she is twent-ish when everybody knows it's already
twenty-and-quite-a-lot. But it is now, five years later, that Buffy considered that she
was always the one to kiss Angel first.
What right does he have to change their traditions? She just heard the bell ring and went
to answer the door, never imagining that her ex - the broody, dark-haired one - would be
standing on the other side. He didn't even wait for an invitation to step inside and
didn't have the courtesy to ask for her opinion before sweeping her in a kiss. Not that
Buffy remembers what her opinion would have been.
Right now, years after all was said, done and supposedly buried six feet under, Buffy
doesn't know what these Angel-kisses are making up for, but, why would she care?
The End
24/07/04
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