|
DISCLAIMER: I wish. You wish. We wish.
SUMMARY: Stone. Metal. Wood. Glass. S1-3 B/A.
WORDCOUNT: 1141
ELEMENTS
by Leni
(Not) Climbing the Walls
stone
In the beginning she had thought herself silly. He was a vampire, she was the Slayer...
Xander was right, wasn't he? There were some walls not even people with their abilities
could climb. To believe the opposite was madness at its worse.
But later it'd been Xander himself who asked for his help. Therefore he couldn't be 'just'
a vampire, could he?
Buffy hadn't had much time to ponder this. Those first days of summer had been a race from
death to victory to sleep to L.A. There hadn't been time to consider anything related to
Angel. Later, when she was already rested, the memories had been quick in resurfacing.
Angel in her bedroom, kissing her the first time. Angel at the Bronze, questions in his
eyes as he looked from Owen to her. Another shot at the Bronze, this time dancing with her
oh so very slowly. Angel in the cavern, watching her in awe as she came back from d-No!
That was why she couldn't allow herself to remember. He was too tied to the madness of her
life. In despair, she'd avoided all reminders of him. The cross hidden deep in her
jewellery box, the jacket hanging in a corner of the closet. If the memories still came,
Buffy mercilessly showed them to the door.. No use in remembering her normal, freaky life
in her L.A. summer; especially when her father was intent in 'recovering her trust'. Butfy
hadn't complained as he lavished her with gifts, for once it felt good to be pampered. She
didn't want to think of her father using that same money for a funeral, she didn't want to
think about those minutes where she wasn't breathing... She wouldn't remember any
of it.
Summer ended and the denial ended with it. Buffy came back and she was forced to face her
memories. Fear and self-doubt had accompanied her through the last months. In Sunnydale
they turned into fury and frustration. It was with those last emotions that she grabbed
the hammer. Those old bones were probably what she most hated, and she had acknowledged
nothing and noone as she pulverised them.
But in the end, when nothing remained but the broken remains of the once Master, the first
thing she saw was him.
Maybe it was silly. It surely was crazy. But the only thing she could think as he engulfed
her in his arms was that she had had it all wrong.
It'd never been about escalating high walls.
This was about letting them crumble harmlessly around themselves.
Behind the Scenes.
metal
Her friends never saw them at their worst. They only saw the perfect couple, the stars
crossing between them and their love.
Never did they witness their fights, how easily he could grow cynic and how readily she'd
act her age. They were simply too different for normal. Too many decades, too many
destinies, too many sins...
Patrol nights were the worst. Both needed each other and at the same time both reclaimed
supremacy in the hunt. At first they'd tried to get over it, but it was impossible. There
could only be an alpha in the Sunnydale nights, and neither was ready to give up their
right.
Their nights were bitter then. They fought as soon as the enemy's ashes fell to the
ground. Biting words were thrown at each other, used exactly like they'd use a sword in
battle. He wanted to protect, she didn't need to be protected. She wanted to understand,
he didn't want his past in the open. Words clashed then, fast and furious in the middle of
the night.
That was the part nobody knew. Angel would never say a word, Buffy would only tell her
friends about the aftermath. They did not need to know that their kisses were their middle
ground. How caresses were never sweet until they had calmed enough. She'd never explain
that the sweet nonsense afterward was half-apology and half-patronising; much less would
she admit their predilection for those nights.
Sometimes Buffy wanted to laugh at Willow's dreamy expression when she heard about their
nightly rendezvous. It's still patrol, she wanted to tell the redhead. We kill
them and then we kiss with their dust clinging to our lips.
Even Xander believed that they were sweet, just a couple of lovesick fools with a bad case
of Karma. She could never tell him that lovesick fools never whispered about death when
they were alone.
They all thought that she and Angel patrolled together just because they could make out in
peace.
They were right, of course.
But none of them needed to know what happened behind the scenes.
Independency.
(wood)
She always watched him as he carved the stakes.
The Slayer in her screamed in rebellion, the enemy handling her weapons was a sin in
itself.
She liked him guarding her back too. Of course, she liked even more kissing him in the
middle of patrol, thread her fingers through his dark hair and smile foolishly when he
told her how deep his feelings ran.
The Slayer in her ranted endlessly, the enemy distracting her was inviting Death to their
doorstep.
Buffy made an habit of watching him work on her stakes. She smiled at him and sometimes
walked just to give him a long kiss.
If the Slayer within complained, Buffy smiled and kissed him a little longer.
She already had enough of people controlling her life.
Shards.
glass
She never told anybody about the misterious packet she received for her 16th birthday.
Wrapped in several layers of tissue she'd found a beautiful princess crafted in crystal.
So delicate and precious that Buffy had been afraid of touching it. She had placed it
carefully on her vanity table and when, weeks later, her mother finally noticed it, Buffy
hadn't bothered to contradict the presumption that it was from her father. But she knew it
wasn't his. As much as she loved her father, Buffy knew that dainty crystal figurines were
not something he'd ever buy,
Besides, she knew who the anonymous giver was.
As time passed, she never thought to ask him. Neither did he offer answers. Her curiosity
was postponed because, they still had time, didn't they?
They didn't.
One day he was suddenly gone and she found herself clutching a diploma in her lonely
house.
Why? she asked herself as she felt the walls closing in.
Why? she was mumbling when she noticed the lonely princess staring up at her.
Buffy never remembered letting the diploma fall. She didn't notice herself advancing to
her vanity table. Only seconds later, as she heard the beautiful artwork smash against the
opposite wall, did she gasp in terror.
Terror, because suddenly she knew what her heart looked like.
Tiny shards of crystal on the floor.
The End
08/04/04
Feedback,
please?
|