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DISCLAIMER: After all the tweaking and thinking and plotting they might as well
be mine!
TIMELINE: Future. Justine never happened, Cordelia never was in a coma.
SUMMARY: It's just about getting the baby to sleep.
WORDCOUNT: 1738
Written for Jess at the Babyverse
Ficathon.
Up to Two Characters: Xander & Cordelia
Up to Two Requirements: (baby was Anya & Xander's) they're raising it
together after she died in Chosen & let's pretend the whole Jasmine
thing didn't happen therefore Cordy was never in a coma but they're
still working at Wolfram & Hart.
One Restriction: no Angel s5 spoilers from Damage onwards (You're
Welcome never ever happened)
AMBER
by Leni
Amber threw the covers over her head when she heard the footsteps coming down the hall.
Her door opened and light spilled into the room. She could see it even through the Winnie
Pooh blanket.
“Sweetie?”
Amber peeked out from her self-made nest just to find, as she’d expected, her mother
hovering over her, a sleepy smile on her lips as she regarded the baby girl in her crib.
Amber smiled back impishly, knowing well that she shouldn’t be awake this late. But
she was; and she wanted to play. Didn’t Mom want to play with her?
“Don’t want to sleep, do you?” her mother asked, a teasing note in her
voice. “I knew I shouldn’t have let you come close to that much chocolate.”
Her head shook in amusement and Amber watched fascinated as the shiny dark hair followed
the movement seamlessly. She loved how it did that and often wished her own dark-honey
tresses could be as beautiful.
Her mother arranged the covers around her, dislodging the warm nest she’d carefully
designed when she was alone. But Amber wasn’t worried, once Mom was gone it was easy
to rebuild it. After all, it was just a matter of twisting and tugging the right way.
Instead, now she contented herself in following her mother’s smooth hands with wide
eyes.
“Aren’t you even a bit sleepy, honey?” She watched the girl closely and
Amber felt how much she wished her to fall asleep. Now.
She giggled and shook her head no.
“Should have guessed.” Her mother sighed resignedly, dropping a kiss on her
forehead. “It’s in your genes.”
The door opened again.
“Talking of the devil...” A chuckle as she straightened again.
Amber giggled again at the confusion in her father’s expression. It was funny.
“What are my favourite three girls doing?” he asked, recovering quickly and
walking towards his wife. Amber privately thought that her daddy was too used to
‘being confused’ around Mom, he was always smiling foolishly or staring after
her and every time he was caught, he acted exactly like this.
Mom smiled down at her before answering. “Trying to get her to sleep.”
He looked in her direction and winked. Amber sent her toothless smile back at him and that
made him smile even wider. If Mom was right and the chocolate was what kept her awake,
Amber knew her father would be in big trouble. He’d given her a little behind her
mother’s back.
“Maybe if you sung her a lullaby...” he proposed after a while. They had been
standing at her crib, waiting for her to fall asleep. What they didn’t know was that
their little girl had been too busy observing them to even think about it. “She will
run into Dreamland just to escape from it.”
Her mother arched an eyebrow. Even her eyebrows were beautiful, Amber thought, once more
wishing to be more like her mother.
“Pardon me?” she said, obviously unhappy with his comment, but she still let
Daddy’s arms slip around her waist and finally smiled when he whispered something
against her neck.
Amber smiled at the picture they made; especially when their fingers threaded together
over Mom’s abdomen. She had noticed they that a lot lately, especially when they
thought nobody was looking. She had also noticed that the bilge under her mother’s
clothes had been growing steadily over the last weeks. Amber wasn’t quite sure what
that meant, but if the endless whistling (Daddy), the slightly off-key singing (Mom) and
the general happiness that could almost be breathed at home were anything to go by, she
was sure it was something good.
And it had something to do with the room her father had been working in for the last days.
It always smelled of wood and newness and her mother always wore this big smile whenever
she stepped into it. Yes, that room was definitely part of the strange changes taking
place in her house.
“Cordelia, look. Her eyes are closed,” her father whispered.
The smile could almost be heard in her mother’s voice when she answered. “Yes.
Shhh... Let’s go.”
Amber had closed her eyes only because the light was distracting her, and she didn’t
want to be distracted as she considered the changes which were undoubtedly about to come.
But her parents were already walking away before she could warn them that she was still
very awake. The door groaned when it closed and Amber thought it’d be a good excuse
to ‘wake up’. But, stifling a yawn and with a world of stuffed toys and
chocolate tempting her, Amber decided that if Mom and Daddy wanted her to be asleep, then
maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea.
Not a minute had passed before she felt the buzz in the air.
He was back.
Amber didn’t know who he was or why he always came to visit her. He didn’t scare
her, not even with his horns and the fangs and the power oozing from him. Instincts told
her that he wouldn’t harm her.
But her instinct didn’t stop her from being uncomfortable every time he presented
himself.
“You aren‘t the least bit asleep,” he said as a way of greeting.
Amber tightened her eyes closed.
“You think you’re so smart.” His footsteps made a dull sound against the
floor, never like the clickety-click of Mom’s heels – though she’d stopped
wearing them some weeks ago – or Daddy’s soft slippers. “Your mother was
smart too, always a step ahead from the rest of us.” He chuckled. “Yes, us.
She always knew what she wanted and didn’t stop until she got it.”
He always talked about her mother, and yet Amber was sure he didn’t mean her Mom. She
finally opened her eyes, knowing that she wouldn’t fool him tonight. He was standing
at her crib, right on the other side from where her parents had stood mere moments ago.
“You have your mother’s eyes,” he murmured, looking intently into her mossy
green eyes.
That told Amber that she had been right. Mom had the most beautiful brown eyes that always
reminded her of chocolate and mud castles, two of her favourite pastimes. The rough hand
caressed her hair and Amber forced herself not to cry out. She wasn't afraid, but his
touch was not like her parent's or anyone else he knew. It was different, as if he was
testing for how long she'd accept it. Amber knew he wished she were like someone else, and
her not crying for help made him happy. He always smiled afterwards. But Amber didn't do
it to satisfy him but because she had the feeling that this man - being? - didn’t
like her parents, she didn't want them in any danger.
“You shouldn’t be here.” His head shook. “The daughter of my beautiful
Anyanka living with mortals, I cannot stand it.” He looked furious, grasping the
crib's edge so hard that the whole structure shook. Amber whimpered and the movement
immediately stopped. Again, he looked down at her and sighed. "I don't trust them.
That boy called my favourite girl to her own doom, she wouldn’t recognise what was
good for her even after he abandoned her." Now he was circling the crib, his steps
harsh and angry against the floor. "And the girl? True, she may be something more
than human now, but her anger was what called your mother to the godforsaken place.”
He stopped, bent down and twirled a scaly finger on one of her tresses. "I can't
trust them. Not with you, little Aud."
Amber tugged away from him. He stared at her and laughed. “You’re your
mother’s daughter, that’s right. She also pretended to ignore me at first.”
The energy simmered again and the girl knew he was about to leave. “Amber, they
called you.” He chuckled. “Let’s see how bright you are when a man first
hurts you. Will you resist me then?”
Amber was left staring into nothingness. At least until a shadow appeared in its place.
“D’Hoffryn is wrong, you know?”
She looked at the woman. It wasn't the first time Amber saw her either, she always came
after him. But it was the first time she'd spoken. Normally she only stood at the crib and
hummed her favourite lullabies until Amber fell asleep.
Something tugged in Amber's memories, something she should know...
The woman had never tried to touch the girl either, but now the almost-there hand
almost-touched her cheek. It was cold like vanilla ice cream, but somehow it was as
comforting as Daddy-hugs. “Yes, you’re your mother’s daughter.” She
smiled when she said that. “But you also are your father’s with that smile and
those ears. I’m sure you’ll have something of Cordelia’s too." Her
laugh was soft. "I just hope it’s not the attitude. At least not the worst of
it.” The cold finger went carefully over Amber’s eyes, closing them. She
contented herself with hearing the voice. “If you do, make sure not to inherit my
mouth too, will you?“
Amber giggled because she felt that’s what the visit wished.
“You will be alright, baby. I’ll be here for you.” She felt a kiss against
her brow. “Sweet dreams.”
Amber opened her eyes, finally knowing what had escaped her all this time. Looking at the
woman was like looking into a distorted mirror, with the wide green eyes and the honey
hair.
“Mommy?” she asked into thin air.
“Yes, honey?”
The door opened and her mother entered again.
“Are you alright, Amber? I felt...” Her mom visibly shuddered.
"...something wrong.”
Amber shook her head. She didn’t want anyone to know about her nightly visitors. The
man, because he was too dangerous. The woman, because... because now Amber understood why
she had her eyes and her hair and, as much as she loved her mother, now she also knew who
she wanted to look like.
“Okay, baby. But I’ll stay here for a while.” She sat on the rocking chair
in a corner of the room. “Tomorrow we’ll discuss how you should be already
asleep.”
Amber didn’t answer to that, instead looking at her mother who was obviously alert
against something. Then she looked to the spot where she’d last seen the nameless
woman.
She didn’t know what they would protect her from, but she knew that they would do it.
With that thought in her mind, Amber finally fell asleep.
The End
30/05/04
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