episode guide - spare parts

_{EPISODE
GUIDE}

Spare Parts

Simon: Sandburg!

Blair: Yeah?

Simon: Do you know someone named Naomi?

Blair: Yeah.

Simon: In the future I would appreciate it if you wouldn't use this phone number for your personal calls!

Blair: Simon, I didn't give out...

Simon: Just tell your lady friends to call you at home, all right?

Blair: She's not one of my...

Simon: All right, Rhonda, put her through.

Blair: Thank you. ... Mom.

Jim: I mean, a couple of guys going around belching and throwing their underwear on the floor. I just don't feel like monitoring my behavior in my own home.

Blair: You don't have to! She's very open, totally new age. One of the original hippies. She even used to date Timothy Leary. Well, not date ... actually more like live with. In fact, I always thought he might have been...

Jim: Your father? Well, knowing you, that doesn't surprise me, Chief.

Blair: Jim, you lied?

Jim: No, I didn't lie. I...I had a friend of mine who had a rig. He used to let tool around with it a bit, but...

Blair: But what?

Jim: Well, it didn't have a trailer attached to it. This is...

Blair: Different.

Jim: Yeah.

Blair: Mom? ... Hi, Mom, how are you doing? ... Yeah, great, just put your stuff in my room for now. No, no, I don't think that's such a good idea, Mom. I mean, it's Jim's place. He's got the furniture arranged the way he likes it, you know. Yeah, okay. Yeah, Mom, I know, I know. It's a little out of line with the next harmonic convergence, but I don't think we're gonna be falling into a crack in the earth next Tuesday, okay? (covers mouthpiece and looks at Jim) It's just for a couple of nights.

Jim: I'll pay for the hotel, okay?

Blair: Jim, he's allergic to the sage.

Naomi: Oh, that's awful. How do you stay clean?

Jim: I shower.

Naomi: Oh, no, I mean, how do you get rid of the negative energy?

Jim: I shower.

Jim: You know, Blair, Naomi's a very attractive woman. I never would have guessed she's so...young.

Blair: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute, wait a minute. Just keep guessing, Jim. That's my mom! Take a cold shower, man.

Simon: Look, there is no way I can sign off on this. I mean, what if something goes wrong? Blair doing this kind of undercover, the department could be in all kinds of hot water.

Jim: He'll sign a waiver, sir.

Blair: Hey, man, speak for yourself.

Simon: Ms. Technically Blair is still an observer, but he's become much more than that. Your son has helped us solve some very difficult cases and I consider him part of the team.