_{EPISODE GUIDE}

The Girl Next Door

Jim: I don't mean to be rude, but I'm trying to get some rest. I've been up all night on a...

Blair: On a big project. Right, Jim? Big project? See, Jim, he works for the city -- road maintenance. He's one of the chief supervisors. Right?

Jim: Perfect for another train wreck in the ongoing disaster that is your love life.

Blair: Yeah, yeah. This coming from a man who I've never known to date the same woman twice.

Jim: At least I'm consistent.

Jim: Why didn't you want her to know that I was a cop?

Blair: She's got this thing against cops. It's no big deal.

Jim: Road maintenance? Road maintenance? Well, at least you made me a supervisor.

Simon: So what's Sandburg got going anyway?

Jim: Oh, he's cooking dinner for some girl he just met. She's not too fond of cops.

Simon: That's all right. I don't like cops either.

Simon: Jim, you are taking this big brother thing with the kid way too far. You got to let him out on his own, let him make his own mistakes. He's got to fail once in a while. If anything else, it'll build character. God knows he needs it.

Jim: Sandburg, if you're there, pick up the phone. Okay, listen, I hope you're having fun, but when you're done with dinner, would you remember to count the silverware.

Chance: I don't like your attitude.

Iris: Whoa, whoa, whoa, we got enough trouble. We don't want to leave any dead bodies for the cops to find.

Blair: Th-that's... that's right, Chance. That's a good plan. You should listen to her, man.

Iris: It just occurred to me we were gonna tape the money to our bodies and smuggle it into Canada. Why don't we do the same with the heroin?

Rob: Cool, just like Billy Hayes in Midnight Express.

Blair: You guys are crazy. Billy Hayes spent eight years in a Turkish prison.

Iris: We split everything three ways...everything.

Blair: I'm not into threesomes.

Iris: Ooh, come on, baby, don't knock it till you've tried it.

Blair: Yeah, whatever.

Blair: Oh, god, what...? Glad to see you.

Jim: Yeah, me, too. We're not done here yet, Chief. And, Sandburg, when you find her, forget about the seven-course meals.

Blair: It's almost as funny as being in lockup for four hours.

Simon: You were in my office the entire time watching TV.

Blair: I got booked, I got fingerprinted, I got photographed. Do you know how humiliating that is?

Blair: Anything but that. You know, I should stay in touch with her. I mean, she's still pretty young, you know. What she needs is a positive influence in her life. Here's some dessert. A role model. People change, you know?

Jim: Why don't you do yourself a favor, Romeo. Get some therapy.

Simon: What is it?

Blair: Well, actually, I take some dates, I put them in water till they get really nice and moist, then add lemon juice and sugar, then I stick this underneath the sink for a few weeks and let it get real moldy. You know when it first starts growing on it? Stick it into a blender, put maple syrup on it. There you go.

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