ALIENS ARE REAL!



Photo of the alien, downtown New York

This photo of an alien was shot by Georgie Porgie, in the toybox of a playschool in downtown New York. Scientists have studied it, saying that the horrendousness of the creature is high enough to classify as an alien. However, due to this plush-like characteristics, scientists cannot yet determine whether it is living or not.


ELMO CONFESSES!


During an interview with the legendary talk host Phil O'Delphia, Phil asked Elmo if he had any relationship with men. Elmo, without thinking, said yes, and that he's gay. This striked lots of controversy, and Elmo is now removed off of the air. He is replaced with Stinky, the Three-Toed Sloth.


MUTANT HAMSTERS AND QUIZNO'S TAKE OVER TELEVISION

Quizno's new commericals, featuring the discombubulated stars of "We Like the Moon", have raided TV, and are scaring millions. They say they are going to take over television, and send subliminal thoughts to eat subs and moons, all part of Quizno's devious plan. They will pop into shows like 7th Heaven, The Simpsons, and Spongebob Squarepants to hyponitize people of all ages.