| THE ARCHIVE (classic exerpts from the Panel) Page 9 |
| From: Ernie To: Panel Subject: Trouble in Philly Date: Wed, 9 Mar 2005 I have no definitive data to back this up or anything, but I just know in my heart that you have female genitalia. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Tugboat To: Panel Subject: Senator come clean Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2005 I've been thinking about reaching out to Brad ever since the first email auto-reply. He sounds like a complete and utter dick. Brad Griswold. I presume he's a guy that wears a perfectly ironed flannel shirt tucked into smooth crisp pleated khakis and an old Phillies cap to work every day. His voice is nasaly but he knows how to invest money like it's nobody's business. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Tugboat To: Panel Subject: NHL RIP Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2005 I feel like I remember recording over my (Christmas Gift) Psalty/Kid's Praise I and II cassette tapes with Beastie Boys: License to ILL back in the day and getting busted by Sallie Sayegh when she popped it in the car tape player on the way to Vacation Bible School (VBS) and heard "I did it liek this, I did it liek that, I did it with a wiffleball bat, soooooooo...". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: T2 To: Panel Subject: Food for Thought from the Cap'n himself Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2005 My only concern would be Harrison's trouser snake. Theoretically he could be in a cover 2 formation and defend the opposite side of the field with his dode. That would be the X factor if you ask me. Harrison's dode. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: T2 To: Panel Subject: Food for Thought from the Cap'n himself Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2005 Tugboat is also right about Mark Eaton, although it's my belief that Mark Eaton's beard should be considered separately because it was credited for 16 blocks alone during the 1987-88 season. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Ernie To: Panel Subject: McNegro QB Date: Fri, 4 Feb 2005 ...McNabb is on about the same level as Jim Harbaugh, Jim Kelly, Warren Moon, or Randall Cunningham. This is how people feel outside of the Philadelphia metropolis. Now, within Philly, McNabb is considered the Messiah, because Philly is a shithole and it's people have nothing better to look forward to. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Scarborough To: Panel Subject: Contradiction Date: Thu, 3 Feb 2005 First the Sixers suck and Iverson is overrated and this is coming from a fan of the team. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Tugboat To: Panel Subject: (none) Date: Thu, 6 Jan 2005 This is an eye opening experience for the entire Panel. To finally see that the Almanac is really Almablack. I don't know what that means, but that's what I feel in my heart. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Hacksaw To: Panel Subject: Johnny Tsunami Date: Tue, 4 Jan 2005 On the sitcom, Johnny Tsunami was a local Hawaiian surfer, popular high school student, ladies man and often used words such as "rad", "bogus", "narly", and "fuck". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Tugboat To: Panel Subject: Smeltics Date: Tue, 4 Jan 2005 Heere, you are a walking excuse that happens to ba an asiafile as well. When will you stop fronting like you follow NBA and come out of the closet as a ping-pong loving nip. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: T2 To: Panel Subject: Smeltics Date: Mon, 3 Jan 2005 Hey Monty...guess what...you've been completely marginalized on this Panel you classless whop! How's it feel, jiggaboo? The only ones who will come to your aid are a gay Tibetan monk lover (Hacksaw) and the Chamelion. Your ridiculous antics have actually brought Boston and New York fans CLOSER than ever before...all because your shrivelled up nipple dode can't admit when it's (he's) wrong. Recognize! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Ernie To: Panel Subject: Reggie White Date: Tue, 28 Dec 2004 And thirdly, the Colts need to worry about actually getting through the first round before they even think about a trip to New England, where their flimsy turf-based passing attack will be greeted by sub zero temperatures, slippery field conditions, 8" of snow, and 300 lbs of well-rested, pissed-off Negroid in the form of Richard Seymour coming straight up Peyton Manning's ass. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: T2 To: Panel Subject: New England Patriots Date: Wed, 22 Dec 2004 Monty's point is that if you take any given American city that has won a championship at some point in one of the four major sports, and then NOT COUNT any of the championships the city has won...Philadelphia may be considered on the same level, if not more successful than that city. |
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