| THE ARCHIVE (classic exerpts from the Panel) Page 2 |
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| From: Ryan Swain (writing out of retirement) To: Panel Subject: funny dode Date: Wed, 5 Nov 2003 Bree and I laughed hard the other night at youth group. The youth pastor was talking about the three different Hebrew words for LOVE. The third one was called DODE and it means sexual love. Some of the sentences he said with a serious tone were.... "I have partaken of your dode." "I want your dode." "Your dode keeps me alive." "I long for your dode." "Hey, how's your f'n dode these days." You can imagine how hard it was for Bree and I to keep straight faces. Love, Ry ps - The last one was a joke. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Tugboat To: Panel Subject: The Return Date: Mon, 27 Oct 2003 [On the Redsox devastating ALCS Game 7 loss] "I didn't wear my Redsox hat to Homecoming. It felt worse than my girlfriend dumping me for another guy (which coincidentally happened that week and I didn't even realize it until Grady got canned today). I avoided corners at Messiah College that I thought T2 might be at (ladies locker room, oaks museam), and avoided people I thought were him (which was touch cuz I don't know what he looks like). It even hurt when I peed that weekend." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Tugboat To: Panel Subject: Reality Based Life Date: Mon, 06 Oct 2003 "Tejada should decide whether he's Spanish or Black and then decide whether he wants to ump the game or play in it." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Almanac To: Panel Subject: NFL 2003 Underway Date: Mon, 8 Sep 2003 Turner, you are correct that the Sunoco Flag gives the Gorilla the upper hand. He could use it to taunt you like a bull charmer. And if he ever got his gorilla hands on you, it would be lights out. No shame though. Nary a panel member could withstand his wrath. That;s why the gorilla in my vision is a peaceful charismatic, whose deep desires are waving the Sunoco flag in praise and taking detailed Sermon notes. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Colbert To: Panel Subject: emailing the panel over the weekend Date: Mon, 25 Aug 2003 I do have an update on a sports related encounter. On Friday, the 23rd, I happened to be patrolling on the Interstate 271 that runs through the beautiful city of Pepper Pike, Ohio (where I work). I was using the laser gun trying to catch speeders. I was nearing the end of my shift when I spot this black car speeding towards me. I point the laser gun at it and get a speed of 91mph. Need I remind you, the legal limit on 271 is 60mph. I then proceed to finally catch up to the vehicle and pull it over. As I am approaching the vehicle I cannot see inside of it due to the darkest window tint I have ever seen. When the driver rolls down the window, I see that it is none other than Darius Lavar Miles of the Cleveland Cavaliers. Mr. Miles is a resident of Pepper Pike. I then proceed to issue Mr. Miles a citation for speeding 91mph. On a side note, he was driving a Mercedes S600 with some dubs that had rims where they keep spinning even whent he car is stopped... It was sick! |
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