Casey at the Bat
Fandom: Law and Order: Special Victims Unit
Category: Parody
Archive: Sure, but ask first.
Feedback: Yes, thanks
Pairing: ?
Rating: G
Spoilers: Season 5 "Loss" et al. If you don't know who Casey Novak is
there's not much in it for you
Disclaimers: Law and Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf et al. The orginal "Casey at the Bat" was writen by Ernest L.Thayer and no doubt remains the property of his estate and/or heirs. No
infringement on any copyright is intended and no profit is being made.
Notes: Plot bunny caused by contemporary tv and a classic poem. I think
that may be a new one. Oh and the Lipstick rapist is not canonical, it's
just there for metre.
Things were looking glum for the SVU Squad that week.
Three perps still at large left the detectives feeling bleak.
Then Munch blew his testamony at the Lipstick Rapist's trial,
And it seemed the gang would know more of losing, at least for a little while.
Benson did her best not to sit and scowl,
and Stabler's hang-dog look said he'd already thrown in the towel.
Then waltzed through an ADA on heels to turn their heads,
"Come on you weary sad-sacks, we'll go play softball instead."
It was Casey, shiny Casey who didn't know them well;
who didn't know that such suggestions were often answered with "Go to hell."
They were loyal and strong you see, commited to the cause;
So devoted to their work defending New York's laws.
Cragen saw her standing there and opened his office door
wondered what she was up to, and what she'd come there for.
When he heard of her suggestion, he started to hack and cough.
His SVU detectives do not take afternoons off.
"Softball's just the ticket," she said, trying hard to bond.
"All your frustrations leave you, you'll be tranquil as a pond."
Stabler looked at Benson, and leaned over his desk,
"Giving me a bat right now would not be for the best."
Fin was laughing loud enough for everyone there to hear
but Casey just smiled at him, ignoring his simple jeer.
"We've got work to do," Olivia said, stepping forward then.
"When we have the cases solved, we might play softball again."
But this first strike was not enough to shake her from her mission.
Casey Novak might be new, but she had great ambition.
Alone was she among this group who'd know each other long,
and she would try almost anything to share in their great bond.
Yes Casey was persistent in wanting to make new friends.
"All right then," she offered, "how about drinks at 8 pm?"
Stabler had a PTA meeting he really had to attend
leaving Fin and Munch on duty, and Cragen had plans with friends.
This second strike was not enough to throw her off her goal.
She turned and grinned at Olivia, bared her teeth and then her soul.
She said "how about just you and I, after work tonight is through?"
Olivia smiled sweetly and said, "I have something else to do."
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
A band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere all are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in the Squadroom-- the mighty Casey had struck out.
