A little boy went in and asked his mother if people had removable parts. 'Of course not' his mother replied 'why do you ask?'. The little boy answered 'Well I just heard daddy say to Uncle Jim that he would love to screw the arse of the lady next door'.

Blocking a Field Goal:

Two guys were in jail. One had just finished playing football. As he came up to the other fellow he asked if he knew how to play football. The other answered "no". He than proceeded to say "Let me teach you. You take off your pants and fart. The other one said "Sure that's easy. Let's play" Just when he was about to let one go the other man whipped out his cock and shoved it up the other's ass, while saying "I'm blocking your field goal!!!"

My Name is Dan:

One day Jim was walking through town and accidentally bumped into a nun. The nun said," Hello, my name is Ellen. Tomorrow I am going to be entering the convent, and I was hoping that you could show me the pleasures of sex. But first you must promise me that you are not married,  and you can only enter through the ass." Jim agreed to this, and went with Ellen to a near by hotel. After they had sex Jim said," I have a confession to make; I am married, and have two kids." Then Ellen said," That's alright, I too have a confession. I am not a nun, and my name is  Dan.

No Fucking Potatoes For Me:

Parents of two young boys were pulling their hair out trying to stop the boys from excessive cursing. One night before dinner the father advised  his wife that old fashioned discipline is the only thing that will get them to stop cussing. That night at the dinner table the father looked at the eldest boy and asked what he wanted. The boy replied "Pass me those fucking potatoes" and the father back-handed the boy right off his chair. The father then looked at the younger boy and asked what he wanted. The younger boy replied, "I don't want none of those fucking potatoes that's for sure!!!"

Johnny's First Day at School:

It was little Johnny's first day in school, so his father looked up the teacher. He told her that little Johnny was a good kid but that he was an avid gambler. He warned that little Johnny might win lunch money from the other kids if he was not watched closely. The teacher did not seem disturbed, assured the father that she had handled many such problems and was very capable of taking care of little Johnny's urge to gamble.  Shortly after lunch, the father called the teacher and asked her how things were going. "Oh, everything is going very well." She said. "I think I may have cured little Johnny of his gambling habit." The father asked her what had happened. "The little tyke absolutely insisted on betting me ten dollars that I had a mole on my rear." She said. "I finally agreed to the bet and took him to the teacher's lounge to show him that I had no mole." "Damn!" The father said. "He bet me fifty dollars this morning that he would see the teacher's ass before the day was over."