This boy and his dad went fishing one day. The boy brought a bag with some sandwiches in it, and the father brought a cooler with some beer in it. Anyways, they had been fishing for about an hour and the father got a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He son asks dad can I have one of those? His father says will your dick touch your asshole? The boy answered no. He said then you cant have one. A while later the father opened the cooler and got a beer. The boy asks again, father can I have one of those? His father says will you dick touch your asshole? Again the boy says no. And the father says then you cant have one.. A couple of hours pass and the boy opens his sack and gets a sandwich. The father says son can I have one of those? Son said will your dick touch your asshole? The father says yes. And the boy says well go fuck yourself!!!

Don't Fuck My Doughter:

A guy is out in the country and he meets a farmer and asks if he could spend the night there. The farmer said okay but you cant fuck my daughter. The man agreed and went to bed. He woke and decided to go into the girls room and he fucks her and when he did this rice came out of her mouth. The next morning he asked the farmer about this and he said that it wasn't rice it was Maggots she had been dead for three years.

The 3 Penises:

Three penis were talking to each other. one said, "I like my master. he just leaves me alone all day." The second one says, "I don't like my master. He strokes me all day and never leaves me alone." The third one says, "I hate my master with a passion. He puts a plastic bag over me,  shoves me into dark places, and makes me do push-ups until I puke!!"

The White Man's Advice:

There were two men (one black, the other white). they worked in the same office, and everyday the white man would come in happy and singing. The black man didn't understand how he could be so damn happy. So one day he asked him and the white man replied "I had sex with my wife twice before work and then twice when i get home. The black man couldn't believe it he wanted to know his secret. So the white man said it all about poetry, ladie love poetry, like last night I told my wife roses are red, violets are blue roll on over so I can make love to you. The black man said that's it, I'm going to try it when i get home"..................the next day he comes in with a black eye. the white guy asks what happened.  Black guys says I took your advice i went home and told my wife, nappy head, nappy head eyes like a frog roll your ass over so I can fuck you like a dog

One Inch Dick:

There was a car that was carrying three guys in it. The car was going 55mph in a 25mph zone. A cop pulls them over and says, if all of your guys dicks measure up to 16 inches all together i will not give you a ticket. So the first guy whips it out and the cop measures it and it came out to be 9 inches the second guy whips it out and his is 6 inches . The third guy whips it out and it was only one inch but the one inch saved their asses. As they were driving away the first gut said, "whew I am glad mine is 9 inches." The second guys says, "whew I am glad mine is 6 inches." The third guy said "Whew I am glad I had a boner"