A boy and a girl were playing in a sandbox at school. That afternoon when the kids went home the girl got in the shower with her mom. She pointed at her at asked, "Mommy, what's that?" And her mom replied, "That's your garage. Never let a boy put his car into your garage." The boy went home and got in the shower with his dad. He pointed at his dad and said, "Daddy, what's that?" His dad said, "That's your car, son. Never put your car in a girls garage." The next day at school the boy and the girl were playing in the sand box again. That afternoon the boy came home crying and his pants were covered with blood. His parents ask, "WHAT HAPPENED?? WHAT HAPPENED??" And the boy said, "I tried to put my car in a girl's garage and she ripped the back tires off!!!" 

It Depends:

Man goes to the doctor for a check-up and since it's his first visit with this doctor he get's to go thru all the questions: Did your dad ever have cancer? What did your mom die of? etc. Then the doc asked "How often do you and your wife make love in a month?" The man say "I don't know doc." The doc say " This is an importnat question that I need an answer to could you call your wife and ask her?" The gut say " Yeah I can do that." And he does. His wife answers the phone and he say "Hey honey the doc wants to know how often we make love every month. Can you tell me?" She say "That depends. Who is this?" 

The Orange Dick!!:

A man is sitting in an examining room waiting to see a doctor. The doctor finally comes in and asks, "What seems to be the problem?" The man replies, "My dick is orange." The doctor didn't know what to say, so he asked some routine questions. Then he asked if the man lived next to any nuclear power plants and the man replied, "No." Finally the doctor asked if the man handled any strange chemicals at his job. The man replied, "No, I don't even have a job." The doctor then asked, "What do you do all day?" The man answered with pride, "I sit around eating Cheettos and whacking pornos all day." 

The 4 Nuns & Heaven:

Four nuns die and go to Heaven. At the pearly gates, St. Peter asks them all to reveal their sins before entering. The first nun says "Once, I accidentally touched a man's penis." St. Peter replied, "go rinse the finger you touched it with in that holy water, then go into heaven." Then the second nun said "Once I gave a man a hand job." St' Peter looked a little flustered, but said "Go scrub you hands in the holy water and go into heaven." Before the third nun could even begin, the fourth nun blurted out "If you think I'm going to gargle that after she sits in it, you're crazy!"

Longer Legs:

There was a young man who was so well endowed that it was bothering his knee. Three doctors and a nurse were in the operating room discussing how to remedy the situation. The first doctor said, "We'll just take of big hunk off the end." They discussed it and decided that would affect his sensitivity. The second doctor said, "We'll just take a big hunk out of the middle of it." They discussed it and decided it would change the texture and feel of it. The third doctor said, "We'll just take a big hunk off the base of it." They discussed it and said that would give him erections problems. The doctors looked at the nurse who had tears running down her cheeks. The nurse cried, "Can't we just make his legs longer?"