Back Pain:

A woman with chronic back pain visits a doctor's office to seek relief. The doctor asks, "Have you done any strenuous or unusual exercise lately?" The woman replied, "No". The doctor asks, "Do you have sex regularly?" The woman replies, "Yes I do". The doctor asks, "What position do you normally use". The woman replies, "Doggy style". The doctor tells her, "Madam, you must roll over on your back into the missionary position to get sacro-lumbar support for your back during sex". The woman asks, "Doctor, did you ever smell a dog's breath?"

Where Jewelry Comes From:

Susie, who is 4 years old, comes down to breakfast one morning and says, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Her mother decides to give it to her straight, so she says, "Well, Susie, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they get married. Then they decide that they love each other so much that the man puts his penis in the lady's vagina, and nine months later, a baby comes out." Susie thinks about this for a few minutes, and says, "But Mommy, last night I got up to go tinkle, and when I looked in your bedroom, Daddy had his penis in your mouth. Is that where babies come from too?" And her mother says, "No Susie, that's where jewelry comes from."

Thermos:

There is a travelling dildo salesman. He knocks on a woman's door and she allows him in. He states: "I have a dildo worth 10 dollars", "another worth 20 dollars", "and another worth 30 dollars". She looks them over and finally asks him: "How much for the silver dildo?" He contemplates for a second and says "um...150 dollars." She says: "ok, i'll take it". He leaves.   Later that day he's back at the office and his boss asks him what he sold that day. The salesman replies: "I sold three 10 dollar dildos, seven 20 dollar dildos, two 30 dollard dildos, and i got 150 bucks for my thermos!!".

Break it Off:

A man who went to Church with his wife always fell asleep during the sermon. The wife decided to do something about this and one Sunday took a long hat pin along to poke him with every time he would doze off. As the preacher got to a part in the sermon where he shouted out "... and who created all there is in 6 days and rested on the 7th.." she poked her husband who came flying out of the pew and screamed "Good God All Mighty."
The minister said "That's right, that's right" and went on with his sermon. The man sat back down, muttering under his breath. And later began to doze off again when the minister got to "... and who died on the cross to save us from our sins..." the wife hit him again and he jumped up and shouted "Jesus Christ". The Minister said "That's right, That's Right" and went on with his sermon.
The man sat back down and began to watch his wife and when the minister got to "... and what did Eve say to Adam after the birth of their second child" the wife started to poke the husband but he jumped up and said "If you stick that damn thing in me again I'll break it off!"

Farting Game:

This guy is hitch hiking and a car with two guys stops and asks if he needs a ride. the one guys says lets have a farting contest, the first guys farts and it is just a whisper, the second guy says" that was great man ". the second guy goes and does the same thing. The hitch hiker goes that's nothing, he rips a really loud one, the two men turn around and go " virgin ! "