A lady doing laundry discovered that the dryer stopped getting hot. "Hey honey" she called to her husband. "The dryer's broke.. can you fix it?"
"Who do I look like... the Kenmore repairman?"
A few days later the dishwasher broke. "Hey Honey, the dishwasher broke. Can you fix it?"
"Who do I look like... the Maytag man?" grumbled her husband.
A few days later the oven broke. "Hey honey... I can't fix dinner... the oven broke. Can you fix it?"
"Who do I look like... an oven repair man?"
A few weeks later the husband said to his wife, "Hey honey. I noticed you got all that stuff around the house fixed. How much did it cost?"
"Well" the wife replied, "You know Mick next door. Well, he agreed to do all the repairs for free if I'd sleep with him or bake him a cake."
"What kind of cake did you make him?"
"Who do I look like, Betty Crocker?"

An Illinois man left the streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida.
His wife, on a business trip and was planning to meet him the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival
tomorrow. Your Loving Husband.
P.S: Sure is hot down here.

Mr. Bean