Caught In A Sailor Suit (part 2): Back Into Earth's Orbit

    You made it. Thanks.
     There is some poetry here, but songs I've written are what you'll find on here for the most part. My excuse for the ones that may not flow too fine when read is that they come off a lot better with the melodies attached.
      I don't really expect everyone to read everything here. But it'd be nice, especially if you're in the music or writing biz' and like what you see and want to offer me a contract of some sort. Fame I don't need, though a Gulfstream would be nice to fly around the globe in via royalties. You betcha. ^5. So yes, if you've the time in your lives to read some of what's here I'd feel honoured. Time, life, they're both precious, aren't they?
     I usually only write about two things: the one I'm in love with or my life's experiences, however I've been inspired by others at times to also write about the goings on in their lives. It's a great feeling to be able to write something for someone and get it just right and then hear them come back and say, "You nailed it. That's exactly what I was feeling."

   "All you need is love." I believe it, sometimes anyway.

     Sooooo, let's let the show begin. I hope I pass the audition. And, again, thank you for taking the time to bring this up on your computer.

     Jeff Williams
     November, 2000
     Copyright, All Rights Reserved
     All songs, poetry, and writings copyright by myself or other artists where noted.

                               I'm Moving On
Well, I'm running around town with my head on wrong,
riding my bike, and I've got the throttle on strong,
I'd better pull into a bar, and try to settle down.

Set me up barkeep, with something light.
No alcohol please, I don't want to get in a fight,
I'm not that type anyway, but I've got my leathers on.

Henley said it right when he was talking about souls,
that woman did me wrong, and then she moved on.
Why am I so messed up, over a pack of lies?

I thought I knew her as much as any man could,
but her stories were always changing, she changed her moods.
One day she was saying she loved me, the next it was a curt goodbye.

     I invested more in love than anyone should,
     I lost myself in her and I thought that was good.
     Man, I was messed up. I was out in space.
     You can't build a love affair on continual lies,
     you've got to keep yourself, and be strong enough to say goodbye.
     No more crying for me.....I'm moving on.

          bridge: I asked you, why you lied,
                      you turned away and gave me,
                     no reply.
middle 8

Thanks, barkeep. It's been nice.
Think I'll go pick up my son and take him for a ride,
tell him a few stories, pass on a few lessons about life.

Well, I'll be damned if the sun ain't shining,
it' seems likes years since it's felt this nice.
I guess it's going to turn out all right....I've got to be moving on.
I've got my life back again, I''m moving on.

     I invested more in love than anyone should,
     I ignored everyone dear to me and I thought that was good.
     Man, I was messed up. I was out in space.
     You can't build a life on continual lies,
     you've got to keep yourself, and be strong enough to say goodbye.
     No more crying for me, I'm moving on.
     No more wanting to die for me....I've got to move on.
     fade, spoken> C'mon, son. Let's go for a ride.
copyright 11-7-00

Ocean And The Bayman

The ocean takes the bayman out onto the sea.
She tries to offer him a new life, and show him tranquility.
Once in awhile he'll run into tall waves of frustration,
but that's just life, and it's taking him a long time to accept her serenity.

Sometimes he goes back to his land two thousand miles away.
He's just a bayman and a farmer afterall, and he's got to earn his wages everyday,
but he dreams of her and longs for the simple ways she's shown him to live.
He's found a joy and a humility in giving back to the sea.

It's a hard choice,
to live with the ocean or his tractor.
When he factors everything in,
he know it's her he's been living for.
It's the ocean he's been after all along.

But sometimes people have a way of letting their dreams slip away.
The days turn into years and their afraid to change because of their fears.
The ocean will always be there, he tells himself everyday,
but sometime soon his youth will be spent,
and he'll be an old man telling stories,
imagining what a beautiful and glorious life it could have been.

Yes, it's a hard choice
to ride her waves or his tractor.
He tries to factor everything in,
and he still knows it's her he's pining for.
He likes feeling the earth on his hands,
and he thinks it's his dreams he's going after.
Whatever the case may be
another day of serenity has slipped away,
and this is the way,
it's always been.

So peace to you bayman.
There's peace in the ocean,
and that's the way it's always been.
copyright 9-17-00

Email To A Friend
Coffee for you, and tea for me
(straight up, no cream or honey, thank you),
gearing our bodies up for another day of reality.
I hope the sun's shining and warming you up your way.
It's always been a pleasure to meet someone whose stable
and who has found their own, unique, warm laddle from which to sip from in this world
instead of spending time chasing tails
and failing to just enjoy the moment in front of us.
Wouldn't it be nice if everyone looked at life that way?
But hey, I've been a screwball on occasion too. I hope that doesn't scare you.
Make it a good one?
There by the sea?
I envy you.
Yepper, sure do,
but I like my life too.
It's always best to love yourself first;
it precludes a lot of hurt in the event things with a lover go sour,
moping around with dire thoughts, having bought into "love cures all"
whence it does nothing more than shelves real problems
when it's us, ourselves, who hold the answers.
Contemplation. Meditation.
Yes, I think chasing tails is boring and it only shores up insecurities,
storing the bad stuff inside when it needs to be addressed and thrown away.
And I think this caffeine
has gotten the best of me
this morning,
otherwise I wouldn't be sending this.
Yepper, something's amiss and I must go
and get on with my day.
Ciao bella
copyright 8-29-2000

^ Straight up poetry, written for a woman I've 'met' on the net in a chatroom. Zapped this one off to her, as I said in the piece, in the grips of a caffeine high. Nestea. Good stuff. Nectar of the gods.

This one is one of the rockers I spoke of above
           Scotland Calls
Scotland calls. Scotland calls.
It's calling us everyday. It's calling us every morning.
Let's retrieve our love, get back our sanity.
Scotland calls. Scotland calls.

Our love calls. Our love calls.
We're so far away, and we're dealing everyday
with misunderstandings, it's so flippin crazy.
Our love calls. Our love calls....
....and Scotland calls.

Tahiti calls. Tahiti calls.
Let's fly away and lay out on the beach,
say to hell with all this responsibility,
start spending our lives together now, you and me.
Tahiti calls. Tahiti calls.
....and Scotland calls.

     We've done everything we promised ourselves,
     time to say to hell with everything else.
     our plans have been laid, our debts have been paid,
     our love's at stake....
     ....and Scotland calls. Scotland's calling us.

The whole world calls. The whole world calls.
It's crying out for love everyday, too many people have spent their days
lost in pain because they've lost their ways.
I envy us.....
because the whole world calls. it's calling out for love.
and Scotland calls. Scotland's calling us.

Do you hear it my love?
Scotland calls,
it's calling for the two of us...
Scotland calls. Scotland calls.
Scotland's calling us.

Scotland calls. Scotland's calling out for us.
copyright 11-11-00

             she's not that kind
it's not her fault that she broke my heart,
that's just the kind of woman she is.
she let me know from the very start
that she was happy with her life.

i should have stopped by just to say hello,
not to tell her i was falling in love.
she had to let me know that we were just friends,
and i lied and said, "that's all right."

     she said, "i'm not the kind who will commit my life
     to someone who will only hurt me in the end.
     i've learned my lessons well, and i'll not ever tell you
     that i'm falling in love with you."
     she said it hurt her too much the last time she fell,
     and i knew she was telling the truth.
     then she leaned her head up against mine, and she kissed me on the cheek,
     and she asked if i'd spend the night.

we laid down on the rug in our clothes,
and i gazed at her as she slept all night.
i wondered when she'd been hurt so bad,
and what kind of man could have ever said goodbye.

she awoke early the next morning with a smile on her face,
and she was as beautiful as the night before..
she said that she was glad i stayed,
and she made us some tea then came back and sat on the floor.

i so wanted to try one more time
to convey my feelings for her,
but i didn't want to spoil the moment or the day,
because she took me to her bedroom and we made love.

     and she said, as she sent me on my way:
     "i'm not the kind who will commit my life
     to another who will only hurt me in the end.
     i've learned my lessons well, and i can not ever tell you
     that i'm falling in love with you."
     she said it hurt too much the last time she fell,
     and i knew she was telling the truth.
     then she leaned her head against mine, and she kissed me on the cheek,
     and said maybe we could meet again next week.

yes, it's not her fault that she broke my heart.
it's just the kind of woman she is.
she let me know from the very start
that she was happy with her life.

i should have stopped by just to say hello,
not to say i was falling in love.
she had to let me know that we were just friends,
and i lied, and said, "that's all right."

i looked in her eyes, and i kissed her on the cheek,
and i lied, and said, "it's all right."
copyright 1-6-2001

                               The Airport In Bermuda
                (excerpt from 'Two Lovers Stranded', Part II)
She's waiting on an airplane at the airport in Bermuda,
to fly her across the ocean, and the prairies, and the mountains to Vancouver.

She says she needs a new coat and more space to get out and drive her car,
her new manicure should last her until she can find a job in a hospital or a bar.

We met a year ago and it was all quite by chance.
We shared a couple drinks, sang some Beatles songs, and even had an awkward dance.

     Chorus: I didn't know what hit me dear one, when you came to me.
                    You took away everything I thought I knew and you made me so damned happy.
                    Would you like to live with me, could you stand some tranquility?
                    And we could love each other, in serenity.

I had to leave and now I'm sitting by a cactus out in Arizona,
my heart's with hers, and hers with mine, so why are we both feeling so damned alone?

I hope you have a nice flight, by tomorrow night you'll be in your new home.
Find a flat out on the coastline, I hope it's cozy, and eventually a place you can call your own.

Are you excited about your new life, are you going to make it the best you can?
I hope I'll still be in the picture, I want to be there, walking the causeway with you hand in hand.

               I didn't know what hit me dear one, when you came to me.
               You took away everything I thought I knew and you made me so damned happy.
               Would you like to marry me, could you stand some tranquility?
               And we could love each other, in serenity.

She's waiting on an airplane at the airport in Bermuda.
Maybe I'll to to Tucson, to the airport, and catch me an airplane for Vancouver.
copyright July, 1999
                                                                              tu eres mi amor
                                                                              tu eres mi amor
                                                                              tu eres mi amor de verdad

The Director
and this is from whence love came;
there was a woman i had not ever seen before
until another spoke her name.

she was on the stage directing light,
and i thought i might touch her if i walked up there.
her hair was a brown as the laquered floor and i came to adore her.

but auditions were over and as i came to love her,
i knew it would have to be another day
before i could get the courage up to say that i was in love with her.

i'm watching her live her life in the papers and magazines now.
i'll see her later in another dream of mine, maybe even tonight.
i know the wine she loves, and perhaps we'll get together in another time.
copyright January 1999

untitled # 16
tell me where this is all going.
tell me, this naive sounding soul, though i'm really not,
what you're showing me.
it wasn't too long ago that life seemed so empty
and that i'd sworn my life to loneliness.

tell me what you're doing here again.
give me even the slightest of clues because.
you're driving me crazy
with all this coming in and out
like an indecisive lover,
and it's amazing that i'm even letting you
stand here in my doorway without slamming the door in your face

because when the last time we talked you said goodbye
and i wanted to die but you didn't care...
...wherever the winds blew us is what you said,
and you walked away so confidently because your pride wouldn't allow you to look back.
copyright February, 1999

this one was written from the perspective of what the guy might have been feeling like once he came to his senses, the guy who so shook the woman in "She Loved The Man," above.

       Misery, Because of Me
I lost everything I ever wanted.
I lost everything I ever needed.
I went out and then I tore up your heart.
Have I put you back at the start
     of learning to trust again?
     Will you ever lust for another man?
     I've busted your faith again.
     You would have laid your life down for me.
     Misery. Becasue of me.
          How could I have been so wrong
          when all of my life I've waited and longed for you?
The days and nights we made love were forever.
Now I want forever back again.
We shown our vulnerabilities to each other,
and now I want our 'each other' back again.
     Your trust in me.
     Will you ever lust for me again?
     I've busted your faith again.
     You laid your heart out on your sleeve for me.
     Misery. Because of me.
          How could I have been so wrong
          when all my life I've waited and longed for you?
middle 8
          How could I have been so wrong
          when all my life I've waited and longed for you?
          For you.
I know you'll always be there in my dreams..
I hope someday you'll hear what I'm saying t'you here.
My very being will always be dedicated
to the love I chose to forsake.
          How could I have been so wrong
          when all my life I've waited and longed for you?
     Misery.
     Misery.
     Because of me
copyright December 26, 2000

but all i did was listen to her side. so maybe i got it all wrong. but they're good songs anyway, thank you.

untitled # 7
don't matter, what i'm doin'.
don't show, what i've got brewin'.
don't care, that nothing's stewin'
'cause i've still got you.
copyright July 1993

I still don't know where this one came from. It's not about me, or what I've done, or what anyone has related to me about their own life. I just started with the first line and it kept growing.
                                           Life's Just Too Short
I'm leaving Mississippi, and I'm going up to Tennessee,
to try and find my wealth and fame,
by singing songs in two-bit run down stinky honkytonks,
and trying to play that country star game.
I've got my pickup, and my guitar, and my dog she's riding shotgun.
I'm feeling free and easy, but just a little queasy,
kinda like I'm on the run.

You see my mom ain't Betty Crocker, and my dad he's not Roy Rogers,
and my brother sure as hell ain't Superman.
Their idea of living is doing a lot of nothing,
and getting by on what little they can.
Oh, Lord please, don't let it be in my genes,
I want to see and do all that I can.
I want to get out of these dungarees and realize some dreams
and maybe even marry a beautiful woman.

     Chorus: Daddy, Life's just too short
                    to live it out on the farm and watching the days go by.
                    And Momma, I'm pretty damned sure I can make it on my own
                    if I just get out there and try.
                    If I stay here my dreams are going to die.
                   (spoken) and they kind of smiled at me....

middle 8
Chorus

Well it was 18 years ago that I hit the road,
and I've found my share of wealth and fame.
My little dog's since died and I've found a wonderful wife
whose love has managed to keep me sane.
No my mom wasn't Betty Crocker, and my dad he wasn't Roy Rogers,
but they were smart enough to let me be who I am.
I've seen lots of places and things I never could of dreamed of,
and my wife's gvien us our own little man.

              and just the other day he said to us:
             (sung slowly) "Daddy, life's just too short
             to live it out on the farm, watching the days drag by.
             Momma, I'm pretty darn sure I can make it on my own
             if you'll turn me loose and let me get out there and try.
             Momma and Daddy, why are you crying?"

             "Son, we're proud you want to get out there and try,
              and not sit around and watch your life drag by."
copyright August 1995

She Left
She left me a letter taped to my front door.
She said, "I know it's Christmas eve, but I've made the choice to leave you."

Those were the best two years we ever felt.
And we were in love, we both could tell.

She left me a letter taped to my front door.
She said, "I know it's Christmas eve, but I've made the choice to leave you."
copyright December 24, 1999

untitled# 15
you're 4,000 miles away
and where you're living it is even another day,
and as you walk along the pink sands of your favourite beach in Bermuda,
I sit here reaching out to you from my notebook.
copyright June 1999

Every child brought into this world is born believing he or she is capable and deserving of love. To teach a child otherwise is to violate one of the most sacred trusts we assume upon becoming adults.

< page 3....songs and poetry.

Dear James,
I love you.
Dad

Last updated December 25th, 2003.

                     My Hand Is Here For You
Everybody's had a broken heart.
Everybody's had to go back to the start again,
and here I stand offering my hand to you.
Everybody's had to deal with the pain.
Everybody's had it rain on their parade.
There's nothing I wouldn't do to try and help you through.

       Everyone's felt isolated and lonely,
      and everyone's felt like they're the only one,
      with a cut this deep that it cuts right to the bone.
      My hand's right here for you.

The deeper the pain the better off you''ll be,
on the other side of this hurt you're feeling.
Make your mind up to try and start living again.
He's gone on with his life, there's no use in waiting.
No use in pretending you're going to be his wife anymore.
That door's been shut,
and I want you to believe it's true,
,
      on the other side of crying there's always a smile waiting.
      You'll have a deeper sense of self and your heart will be flying,
      in its own time. Remember this broken heart of mine.
      Your hand was there to help me through.

     bridge: Cross this bridge, don't walk back again.
                   It's time for starting your new life.
                   Dig deep inside, walk stong and true.
                   You helped me in my time,
                   and now i'm giving back to you.
                   I'm standing here,
                   my hand's right here for you.
middle 8
1)

I'll be here for as long as it takes.
I'm always here to help you through.
Whatever it takes.
My hand is always here for you.
My hand is here for you.
fade.
copyright March 6, 2001

< page 2...songs and poetry.

March 30th, 2001: primo shape for me. The best that I can do.

'well, the moon sank, and the wind blew, as the light slowly died.
yeah, they called you the wild one, they said stay away from her, she could love no one if she tried.
well, it's too bad, but i want you to know i understand.
yeah, it's been a long time, but i don't mind, it's all right, i understand.
because something i saw in your eyes told me right away you would have to be mine,
and the strangest feeling came over me down inside.
i knew right away, i'd never get over how good it felt,
when you finally kissed me, i will never rerget..
those few hours will ring alone in my head forever....and ever.

tom petty

For Woody
(one man's desperation)
Hard doughnuts and cold hotdogs, a tall glass of warm iced tea.
An empty house on Saturday night, this single life is getting to him.
A pack of smokes, a box of crackers,
a black and white picture on his colour TV.
A basket full of dirty laundry, and even his dog's starting to look grungy.

Well you might think he's looking for a wife,
and you're right but for all the wrong reasons.
It's been a whole year since he's had a love in his life,
yes it's been a gloomy four seasons.
He knows how to clean up after himself,
but he's gotta get outta that chair and get going.
If you knew him it wouldn't be hard to tell
that it's just his lonliness showing.

A deep suntan from riding his lawnmover,
and dodging beer cans all over the yard,
Two new cars in his driveway, but all he uses is his old Chevrolet.
Cowboy movies, always playing, on his new three hundred dollar DVD machine.
18 options on his telephone, but nobody ever bothers calling him.

Well you might think he's looking for a wife,
and you're right but for all the wrong reasons.
It's been a whole year since he's had a love in his life,
yes it's been a gloomy four seasons.
He knows how to clean up after himself,
but he's gotta get outta that chair and get going.
Yes if you knew him it wouldn't be hard to tell
that it's just his lonliness showing.
If you were him it wouldn't be hard to know
that it was just your lonliness showing.
copyright July 1993

All I Want
All I want is you.
All I want is big bad you,
short sweet you.
I'm out here by myself hating my freedom.
Bond me in your chains of love
because all I want is you.
All I want is big bad you.
Lay me, make love to me.
Keep rubbing on me until it hurts
like a couple rabbits
rolling around in the dirt.
copyright May 1997

For Diana/By Diana
My light's on at night and I make breakfast for myself in the mornings.
The night before you didn't call to say you were yearning for me.
I am so in love with you.

My life is right as it should be, and I last through the days trying not to yearn for you.
And I might even be able to fall in love again and commit freely to another man,
even though I am still in love with you.

There are just so many guys now coming after me, most of whom are nice,
and I try to fly away and take flight with one or two but it's not working too well.
I guess I'm not ready,
because, you see, I am still so in love with you.

But take heed, dear one, even though your are the one of my dreams
it seems I must someday believe enough in myself to say goodbye to you
and leave forever even though I am still in love with you.

I must love myself too.
copyright September 1999

Diana - whom I've yet to meet in person (damnit, I had my chance when a bunch of folks who go/went to the same chat room met in Las Vegas and Reno), but I hope that someday we do because she'a a wonderful human being - wrote me an email about an old woman in California who was being evicted from her home. She didn't ask me to write about it - she's not ever asked me to write about anything - but I wanted to try and put something down. There are a couple other pieces below that were also inspired by her. What I finally ended up pulling from the air in this one speaks of a lot of different things...things that may not seem connected at all, but are connected in a very intimate way. It's a sad one, and there are the deep sounds of a cello, maybe a viola, prominent in the score.
                             My Horoscope
I arose and read my horoscope this morning.
It's a silly thing I do whilst sipping my tea at day's dawning.
I thought it might say there'd be nice change on the way,
but reality is your empty chair at this table everyday.

An artist in L.A. said the entire west coast was melting,
into houses upon houses and freeways and steel beams,
on the mountains and the beaches, his culture turned to ashes,
he paints his scenes on his smog stained canvas.

     So why should I expect this one love of ours,
     to exist in a world where there are nothing but scars?
     All my faith was in you, not because I was supposed to,
     it was the right thing to do, it was all so natural.

An old woman lives in a house that looks abandoned.
She can't pay the bills or the taxes on her land and
some starlet wants to build a 3 acre mansion,
she evicts the woman from her home and lays a small check in her hand.

She'll be on the streets and away from her beaches,
scrapping for food soon while the starlet makes her movie,
about a woman alone, with nowhere to go.
It's a smash and she can justify her new 20 million dollar home.

     So why should I expect this one love of ours,
     to exist in a world where there are nothing but scars?
     All my faith was in you, not because I was supposed to,
     it was the right thing to do, it was all so natural.
     We always knew, we were free to choose,
     to live our lives together or leave anytime.
     The aroma brings back memories when the tea is brewed,
     and I try to find myself and escape these thoughs of you.

I arose and read my horoscope this morning.
It's a silly thing I do whilst sipping my tea at day's dawning.
I was hoping it might say that there'd be nice change on the way,
but reality is your empty chair at this table everyday.
copyright March 10, 2001

                  Rough Seas/Inner Peace
We knew from the start it was gonna be rough,
but we went ahead and we fell in love.
So she left her home and I sold my own,
and we went out and damned sure got it on.

We took to the road until we saw the coast,
then we bought a boat and set sail on our own.
We sought our souls alee from the wind,
we were sailing ahead of our storms once again.

     Chorus: And I loved her. And she loved me.
                    I still love her. Does she still love me?

We rarely set foot ashore for nearly a year,
and our love for ourselves grew stronger than our fears.
We made an inner harbour and tied up to a pier,
saw a cafe on Menzies, stopped in for a tear and a beer.

It's true you'll ketch the past if you sail too fast,
and as hard as we tried we couldn't make it last.
It was hard for her to say, and I saw her pain,
"Kansas is home for me, and yours is the sea."

                  And I loved her. And she loved me.
                  I still love her. Does she still love me?

We knew from the start it was gonna be rough,
but we went ahead and we fell in love.
fade
copyright 01-07-00

My Love # 5
I've got my love next to me
my love sleeping next to me
and I've got all I need
she's next to me
my love sleeping peacefully
my love lost in her dreams
and I've got, everything I need
she's next to me
I know sometimes how her heart bleeds
I know I try to give her what she needs
she talks when she bleeds
she talks with me
I know sometimes how her heart bleeds
I hope I'm what she needs
I'm there for her when she bleeds
she talks with me
I hope I'm what she needs
I know I feel damned lucky
my love talks to me
she's next to me
my love sleeping peacefully
my love's next to me
my love is feeling serenity
I'm damned, GD I'm lucky
because my love is next to me
copyright january, 2000

                                             watermelon seeds
she'll suck you up like a watermelon seed then casually spit you out.
you taste her lips and feel the warmth of her soul and then you're down on the ground.
you were only trying to make her feel better and then you went and fell.
you knew from the start she could turn on a dime and now you're going through hell.

she was crying all the time and you were just trying to be a nice guy.
you got her back on her feet and it seemed like she was close to saying goodbye to him.
she wanted your body, she wanted your soul, and you naively gave them all.
now look whose crying, you feel like dying's gotta be better than taking this fall.

     you let her get to you.
     you swore it would never happen again.
     you thought she was falling for you
     when all she saw was him.

you've got to quit being such a nice guy and letting them suck you in.
like a watermelon seed you're yesterday's news. i know where you've been.
i've planted a few gardens myself and i can tell you're going through some serious pain.
she got her cheap thrills at your expense, you played along with her game.

     you let her get to you
     you swore it would never happen again.
     you thought she was falling for you
     when all she saw was him.

you were just trying to be a nice guy listening to her cry all the time
then you fell and now you're going through hell because she lied and said goodbye.
she was crying all the time because that other guy sucked her up and spit her out.
how 'bout i take you out to a watermelon feed and we'll spit some seeds down on the ground?
it'll make you feel better to spit a few out, it'll turn your spirits around.
spoken > feels good to be the one spittin' the seeds for once, doesn't it?
              but you're better because you aren't spittin' out hearts, you're just spittin' seeds.
              c'mon now, get up off the ground and get up on this bench and eat some watermelon.
fade.
copyright january 30, 2001

listen to me
(college hill park)
i saw her sitting underneath a tree.
she was the perfect picture of sadness and misery.
she said life was empty and no longer fun.
so i bent over and took away that gun.

i said, "come with me, listen to me,
i'll show you another way.
come with me, listen to me,
there are going to be better days."
and i sang a song for her.

she ended up staying with me for 7 years and we played,
and then god or a disease came and took her away.
life had become empty and no longer fun,
and i swore i heard her say to me while i still held that gun,
sitting under her tree.

she said, "listen to me, feel me,
don't come to me this way.
wait. listen to me, feel me,
we'll have our time, all eternity."
and i swore i heard her sing to me.
copyright April, 1999

< That's the email button. Don't be shy, go ahead and zap me one if you're so inclined. I don't mind constructive criticism, and it's always nice to receive those witticisms people are always finding on the net even though i don't reply to email that someone has forwarded to me.....only to letters folks have taken time to write themselves.

Or, my mobile phone: 913-634-0152

Her Promise
i know you're feeling the same thing from across the abyss,
bonnie's coming in, and i miss you so much.
are you dancing in the rain?

your feelings are true and you're laughing until you're blue in the face.
you're in love with your promise,
to make do with what you have.

it's six in the morning and your dancing on the beach
reaching out for life.
i'm in love with you.

are the white sands still warm to your feet and your being?
is your piscean spirit absorbing
this life you have come to greet?

you're in love with your promise.
it's so intoxicating to see
and i'm so in love with you.

does the wind chafe your nude body?
does your fair hair blow with
the life you seek and adore?

that palm on the tree, that is me,
calling for you,
your shelter in stormy times when your serenity seems to have left you.

be it so what you so seek.
no other i've ever known has found your peace,
the sounds of inner self.

you have made your life a melody
that can not ever be taken from you,
be it tragedy or comedy.

you're in love with your promise.
it's so very intoxicating for me to be allowed to see,
and it's one of the reasons i am in love with you.

promise me you'll keep it?
copyright July 1998

< or page 4...even more songs and poetry.

                  Falcon
         (Little Hero of Mine)
You are the falcon,
tearing through the skies.
Never letting the fools tell you,
how to try and live your life.
You protected your siblings, and fought for all your meals,
never thought to compromise on your principles or beliefs.
There was fire in your eyes.

And then they tamed you. You tamed yourself.
You fell prey to them. You became someone else.
They tamed you. And then you tamed yourself.
Fell prey to the bait in the traps that caged everyone else.

Your new house has the luxury,
of the Sultan of Brunei.
There's no reason to fly anymore,
and you don't even have to think.
The full moon's at your window,
it's calling out your name,
but you've forgotten what your purpose is,
just like you did yesterday.

And then they tamed you. You tamed yourself.
You fell prey to them. You've become someone else.
They tamed you. And then you tamed yourself.
Fallen prey to the bait in the traps that caged everyone else.

      You were born to fly, little hero of mine.
      Your home's in the sky. Ignore it, I'm afraid you'll die.
      Get up there and fly, before you die inside.
      Little hero of mine. Little hero of mine.

middle 8

A day will come upon you,
jaded memories of yesterdays,
how you soared in the mountains,
and above the rivers where you fed.
Feel the clean thin air call you,
how it blows across your wings.
This is no time for compromising,
your beliefs for jealous theives.

      You were born to fly, little hero of mine.
      You belong in the sky. Ignore it, I'm afraid you're going to die.
      Get up there and soar, before you die inside.
      You were born to fly, little hero of mine.
      Little hero of mine.
whispered ---> fly!
copyright December 8, 2001

             Demon In Disguise
       (Little Demons In The Skies)
1) Suppressed by your reverence,
evil and indifference,
upon souls in bondage you try to kill.
Your best casts a shadow,
of death in your battle,
to try and control a world's free will.

2) You're not God's prophet,
and we've had enough of it,
telling us we'll all burn in hell.
You know what you do,
and none of it's holy,
now comes swiftly a whole world after you.

chorus: Demon in disguise,
with death in your eyes,
you mixed up a deadly brew.
Little demons in the skies,
those you killed, a child of mine,
yet their spirits still fly, their souls still alive.

3) Evil is your master,
and it's God you came after,
when you found out you couldn't be him.
You stole a religion,
and took the lives of women, men, and children.
Jealous thief of other's lives, master of misery.

4) So kneel before your altar,
a last twisted prayer before you falter
in trying to steal more lives.
The whole world saw you,
in your cave looking ravaged,
dashing for cover and clean out of time.

chorus: Demon in disguise,
with death in your eyes,
you mixed up a deadly brew.
Little demons in the skies,
those you killed, and a child of mine,
their spirits still fly, their souls still alive.

And come surely, the spirits after you.
fearing death is all you can now do.
Comes now swiftly, a whole world after you.
copyright January 4, 2001

For Molly/By Molly
it's forbidden, this hidden love affair we share,
and i'm not kidding, when i say i've felt your love everywhere.
i stopped caring about right and wrong so long ago,
you'll always know that i love you.

but i've met another, and he says he really cares,
about my future, dare i even say this to you?
one last time i'll run my fingers through your hair,
you know i care,
and you'll always know how i adore you.

let your spirit fly, that's what attracted me to you.
keep your heart open, even though i'll not be coming back to you.
we had our time in time and let's not cry,
because you always knew, this is what i'd eventually have to do.

so go back to your woman, treat her as nice as you did me.
we shouldn't ever, spend too much time with yesterdays.
we've had our run and we've sung our song.
now we belong, alongside the ones
who've come to love us,
as i love you.
copyright May 1999

nice grass, nice ass
laid down on a blanket of grass,
little multi-coloured bugs around us we can not see
like the burning love in our hearts we hold for one another.

it is smooth and caresses us,
and even the rough spots where nothing grows
we find a way to understand and roll off passed to another soft spot.

our bodies moist with dew
that lays wet anew every morning
and comes so naturally.

long blades of grass kiss us lightly as feathers
brushed against us,
and feel like a million lovers all at once calling our senses to life.

absorb this. i ask you to take this in.
feel the warmth of the earth and my heart
as we call your name so quietly with fervered passion.

you tell me to enjoy
what has been laying there so long and so naturally and unnoticed for the miracle it's always been,
like this blanket of grass i haven't noticed.

and we do.
copyright January 4, 2001

           The Other World
In the other world, it's where we longed to be.
Out in the other world, and it wasn't even real.
Ignoring eveyone important in this world to you and me,
just to be in the other world, out in the other world,
and it wasn't even real.

Free souls, to prisoners,
sky high or down on the ground.
Never an inbetween, we were addicted,
to this new world we had found.

I had a nice life,
then I was a loon in a little room.
And soon you were barely hanging on by a thread too,
and everybody knew...

...that we were in the other world, it's where we longed to be.
Out there in the other world, and it wasn't even real.
We swore to high heaven that our love was meant to be.
Oh, there in the other world, we were living in the other world,
and it wasn't even real.

    bridge: I could feel your spirit hovering above me.
                My love, I could smell your perfume from two thousand miles away.
                We were consumed by each other, taken aback so completely.
                You and me, my love, look what it's done to you and me.

The other world, that's where we longed to be.
Falling in love in the other world, and it always felt so real.
Nights I still give in and dream about what may have come to pass.
But I know now at last, that the other world we lived in,
could never again rule this everyday world I must live in
unless you chose to make it real.

Unless you chose to make it real.

copyright July 7, 2002

Winter 2002-03

Walking The Dog In November
I wrote this one evening while sitting in an airport.

Blowing cold winds this November evening and
seeing limbs on trees
gone nude and I bundled up
in a stocking cap and winter coat.
Memories being savoured
of summer days in our boat
seeing us slumber along
the calm sea warm as our love came to be.
Was it nonsense, a space in time where
the flow and scents of the sea
helped us free ourselves
of shelves and drawers full of bad memories?
Was it real,
our feeling in love?
I'm wondering, walking down the neighbourhood street
my dog ahead of me on his leash
exploring piles of leaves and other dogs pee.
Lazily strolling past
a sea of lawns and pretty houses
built to keep folks safe and warm
from their hearts truths,
because luxury is a drug
that keeps us apart from
the pining for each other.
Soft couches, and beds, fine places to reach for slumber
and escape
until we arise and know
in that first instant it might have been different
had we stayed with one another.
Our eyes don't lie as we
first look into our mirror
so we take our showers
and wash away what might have been,
where we should have gone,
down the drain for another day,
standing there as naked as November trees.
Reality doesn't lie,
the bain of our existance,
ignoring more honest lives that might have been.
Nor do the sea or mountain trails or village streets lined
nude with honesty and serenity and calamity.
But at least my dog is happy.
copyright November 2002

untitled #14
the demons drove him to hell and back.
swaggering, they pushed him to his ruin.
"wouldn't it be fine," he said,
"for me to just lay down and die today?
not me, you bastards, because that's exactly what you want."
copyright August, 1998

ultra-lights. slow withdrawl from nicotine...then time go get off of them completely...maybe, hopefully, we'll see.

                          Kippie's Mountain
Your head rests upon my chest.
I can see the moonlight shining through the window and the curtains you made.
You're sleeping and apart
from the dark times that came and put you to test,
and here we lay, and I already miss you.

We've tried hard and come this far,
but I don't know about tomorrow.
I don't ever want to lie, and I don't want to add anymore sorrow to your life.
Not ever, not tonight.

Well I might go to Idaho,
to that little town you passed through and loved so,
where you said you could feel nature run thourgh your heart.
I might buy a little bar, and hire those troubadours
who are always walking through the doors
wanting to play their songs about so many broken hearts.

     Kippie, we're on your mountain in your bed.
     You're looking fine, fine, fine.
     We're no longer broken, we're alive again,
     and cold winds they don't bother us anymore.
     Kippie, we've walked far and we've climbed high,
     and we sure feel this connection.
     Is that enough tonight?
     We're in the same bed,
     and it feels like we're going in different directions.

When you awake I'll tell you it's not your fault, it's mine.
I tried to be someone else for you but it's been hell,
and the last time we fell apart we got it back right
and we got by it in good time.

You'd rather climb a mountain than sleep,
and, my love, sleep is what I sometines need,
after we've spent two days talking,
about where we've been and who we want to be.

bridge: I don't want you to be alone,
           not tonight, not ever,
            but alone is where you might be,
            if we were always singing different songs.
            Do I belong here?
            I know I'm already feeling lonely,
            thinking about tomorrow,
            and how I may be so far apart from you.
middle 8

You're eyes came to shine again.
You've lived these new days like so few others.
The earth she is your mother I do believe.
You climb mountains to say away from down times.
Because downtowns never turned you on,
and we've always known what the other was thinking.

     Kippie, we're up on your mountain in your bed,
      and you're looking fine, fine, fine.
     We're no longer broken.
     Cold winds haven't bothered us for a long, long time,
      can we let these blow on by?

     Kippiie, we've grown stronger somehow,
     our brows are more determined now,
     but we can't ignore these reflections anymore.
     Yes you'll be fine if I must go, my love,
     you'll be fine, walk far and climb high.
      We don't want to live and lie,
      not in life or in the same bed.
      We're hearing these reflections.
      We're in the same bed.
      Damn these reflections.
      You're my connection,
      my connection.
      Can we stop going in different directions?
       fade.
      copyright April 4, 2003

                 She Loved The Man (more than herself)
She'd been in a love affair that'd gone south several times.
I met her in a coffee house while I was thinking about my own life.
I said it was OK to cry and asked what she was thinking,
and I offered to take her to a bar so we could do a little drinking.
     oh, she loved the man.
     she loved the man as much as any woman can.
She drank the first Jack Daniels of her life and I had a Michelob,
and then she tried her best to tell me all that had gone on.
They were going to get married but she caught him playing around.
It was hard for her to say, what he'd done turned her world upside down.
     oh, she loved the man.
     she loved the man as much as anyone can.
She said he lived across the ocean.
They'd spent entire days on the phone and they felt their love growing.
She asked if I'd ever been so in love as she,
and I told her I had and it was nearly the death of me.
     "oh," I said, "I loved that woman.
     I loved her as much as any man can."
She was shaking and her voice was quivering and breaking,
but she was trying to take it on the chin like a true champion.
She said she was tough and she still had her self respect,
but she hadn't slept for days, and she was looking like fresh death.
     oh, she loved the man.
     she loved the man as much as any woman can.
          bridge: she opened herself up and had her heart ripped out.
                       she threw all her trust his way, that's what love's all about.
                       she told me she was feeling better after her drink,
                       and I was thinking I'd let her spend the night with me...
     oh, she loved this man.
     she let it all out as much as any woman can.
I awoke the next morning and called out for her.
She left a note on the dresser saying she'd found the answer.
She said it's great to fall in love but don't lose yourself in another,
and at the bottom of the page she left her number.
     oh, she loved the man,
     and she was determined to be a happy woman.
     i found her in the coffee house again,
     and she invited me to her place some some talking and loving.

     oh, I fell for her,
     but she said, "hold your horses boy, I'm starting over here."
     maybe she'd come to love the man
     who listened to her talking if she could learn to trust again.
copyright December 12, 2000

a bronze statue on the Pearl Street mall in Boulder, Colorado...i thought of this song and took the picture.

Pictures taken at the Country Club Plaza & Westport districts in Kansas City, USA.

Lake Louise, Alberta, Canada. December, 2002. Beautiful place.

July 12th...unfinished

We walked outside along the Plaza today.
We walked hand in hand and then she had to say,
something was bothering her and it was plain as day.
She said, "Where are you now? My love, where are you now?"

I swore to her that I gave you away.
She saw my eyes and there was nothing left to say.
Her tears fell like soft rain,
I could see her pain.
And she kind of slipped off in her own way,
like she does when I'm having these kind of days.

I had a dream that you and I are still true.
I saw your eyes and you never said goodbye.
You and I were still perfect,
living our lives,
and we've let life get by, and we let life go by.
Where are you now?

We walked outside along the Plaza today.
We walked hand in hand and then she began to say,
there was something she so wanted there in the window.
So we walked in, and I know I saw beauty.

We strolled along the streets on the Plaza today.
We looked in the window, and I thought I heard you say,
"Where are you now? My love, where are you?
copyright July 12, 2003

Fall, 2003: far too serious looking. holed up in a motel room on the road.

If you ever get to KC, and if you love music and buy lots of music, ^ is the place to go. If they don't have it, or can't get it, it was never recorded.

I had these bumperstickers made up after 9.11. The statement isn't to further a left or right leaning political idealogy. Really, it's not.. Simply stated, all it means is, "try to be a good person...read, vote, raise your kid, hire a veteran, try not to pollute, etc." Pretty simple. If you'd like one, then email or call me and I'll send you a couple.