We hop on the train and a few stops later, we arrive at Kannai. We tour around the familiar places that Jonathan knows which seems to be endless strips of walking street plazas or whatever. The first thing I notice while walking around is that this place is even more of a sin city than Shibuya. All types of girls walking around and there are younger Japanese guys in suits everywhere trying to get the good looking chicks to do something. They just run up and ask all these questions before giving up (I've yet to see one actually work). These guys are everywhere in Japan but there were _a lot_ here. 12:30 strolls around and we stumble upon this nice place for a drink. We were only allowed one beer each since this place is closing in about 15 minutes. We tried asking the other customers and bartenders where a good place to drink and see people (essentially a non-sleaze bar/club...good luck on that). No dice. We jet after drinking and Jonathan tells me Kannai has a red-light district here.... I'm game to check this shit out!

Fuckin right. A dirty place such as this just HAS to have a prostitute area. I know most of you probably haven't been to Amsterdam (too fuckin bad!) but when I think 'red-light' I think its got to be as 'beautiful' as Amsterdams. Nice lookin buildings, shops, window booths and it was part of the city so the area was relatively clean (environmentally wise for fucks sakes). This fucking ghetto kingdom was a couple side streets from the main street, near or under some fucking bridge and rows of tin shacks on some alley streets. What the fucking shit kind of red light area is this? If Amsterdam's red light district is a 8.5 on the scale to 10, I would rate Kannai's as 'hot dog'. It doesn't even deserve a number. Whatever, we're here and I am gonna see this.

Aaaaahahahaha, this shit is jokes. I was laughing all the way. Not in a demeaning way, it was just goddamn funny! Walking down alley streets filled with salarymen and some tourists with all these girls peepin out of their tin shacks trying to lure people in! Everytime me and Jonathan would walk down an almost empty street, all the girls would fucking jut their heads out and get ready as we walk by. I don't know how they fucking knew we were coming.

This one fucking chick had her shack setup so it looked like a restaurant... only with the food being plastic. I was hungry at that point and almost fucking walked into her 'food palace' but Jonathan stopped me and said "Uhh.. that's not a restaurant, mate". I take a longer look and see the scantily clad woman standing there and ... yea, this ain't no Dennys. Sorry, honey. I can't eat out at your pit tonight, if you know what I'm sayin.

We walk down some more alleys and I think there was this one alley set up just for older/foreign/fat women. There wasn't one younger Japanese chick there. They were like French or Chinese or German or something. Nothing to see here. Just keep walkin.

I would always see guys just standing in front of a booth just thinking about it. Its so funny. Whenever they go, and most did, the door closes and the curtains shut and the game begins. I would always just stand and watch to see how many guys got lured in. They're just like 'yea, ok, whatever'. Boom. Ha! We spent a good hour walking around and exploring and even did a couple laps around the block.

After our tour, we reluctantly leave and look for another watering hole. Jonathan said there was a Thai place around here that Bill (another coworker) was quite popular at. Problem was I saw about 5 Thai places as we walked around. We step in one which Jonathan thought was the place (but it wasn't) and we welcomed by blaring karaoke and, of course, Thai faces. This wasn't the place but it was a really nice place. We sat down and had some Tiger beers and was given a menu. I ordered the pad thai, baby! The pad thai! I split it with Jonathan and this shit was good. It wasn't as saucy as Bangkok Village's but it had a lot of flavor and tasted real fresh. I couldn't even really taste the shrimp (which is sorda the way I like it) (and there was at least 5 shrimp in there, goddamnit) and, well, anyways, it was good shit. Their karaoke system is the same getup as Bangkok's but only with newer and better music (haha, sorry!). Watching the lyrics and Eng pronounciation at the bottom brought back memories and soon after we ate, the place filled up with salarymen and their Thai hostess chicks or whatever. It was now 2:30AM and it was only beginning to get busy. I love this place. After downing our beer, we say goodbye and try to find a new beer pit.

So we were walking the streets and who else would you get approached by in such a dirty place but massage prostitutes. Fuck. There were a couple and were all clinging on to me saying "massa, massa" which is how you say massage in the hooker world I guess. The clinging was good but their age and their disease-infested ass wasn't. Fucking go away! Just as we were free, Jonathan gets the genious idea of asking them were a good place to drink is. Fuck man, what are you doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They suggest this place just upstairs filled with girls who will charge 483913yen to fucking holding hands. Damn Aussie fool!!! We quickly take off and find this strange building with about 8 floors and about 5 bars per floor. And the floors were small. WTF? And each bar is behind a thick, solid door so you can't even fucking preview without opening. We were both nervous so we took turns of 'one person opening the door and hiding behind it while the other person takes a 2 second look inside before people run out and drag us in'. We try it about 3 times and give up. This is hopeless. This fucking shit city has 80000 bars so nobody knows which place is good and the bars aren't full because theres 5 of em every foot.

We walk around some more and find some small, local type bar and were tired so we head in. Only older types here. We both order rye and cokes and this bartender runs downstairs to buy Coke from the nearest vending machine. "..." After we get our drinks, he hands us some small bowls of snack type foods. Sweet deal. I could use some eats. Jonathan is concerned, though. He's been here for about 7 months and he knows nobody hands people bowls of food here for free. He asks the bartender what the total bill will be:
"Zenbu wa ikura deska?" He says.
"San mai yen" The bartender replies (3000 BTW, I'm not sure if I typed it out correctly)

Fucking cocksucker! 1500 each for a fucking drink that he had to buy out of a vending machine and small bowls of doritos, potatoes and pickled veggies??!?! We couldn't do much (we were nice gaijin) so we milked our one drink to kill time until the first train and when it hit 4:30, we paid and left. Piece of shit motherfucker.

We still had a bit of time to kill so we go back to the dirty red light area just for kicks (and eyecandy). On our way back, we see the stupid 'massa' lady and this time she clings on to Jonathan. He just shakes her off saying "Kyo wa daijobu" over and over. I just laugh. That sentence gives me the giggles for some reason.

We go back to tin shack heaven and its still busy. Only this time there are more younger guys walking around. Its nice to be beckoned at and getting called hot shit. Maybe thats why I returned. Only looking tonight, ladies. Maybe next time you'll get to touch. Walking around, we notice that there are a lot more chicks dressed up as schoolgirls. Fuck, they know how to play the game. I love that shit. We counted 13 in all. While some didn't suit the schoolgirl uniform type (mainly cuz they looked like late 20s shit) it was still nice. We lost track of time and missed our first train at around 5ish so we hightail it back to the station and wait for the next one. Fuck, I am getting tired at this point and just want to crash.

We catch the next train, say our goodbyes a few stations later and I'm on my way home to catch some Zs. Fuck, now I know where to go if I ever want to catch a herpes + crabs + salmonella combo.

I explained to him that I'm a Nova instructor and he understood right away. He took me over to the phones and showed me a few J-PHone models and some other types of phones. OK... I see phones. Which one do I choose? I try asking what are the specs of each model and this guy is fucking stumped. There are brochures nearby but I can't read this fuckin shit. Fuck. I don't want to pick up a shitty phone that'll piss me off. So we mumble random shit to each other for a few mins then Jamelle, Emma, Karla and April from my work branch (yes, quite of our staff works at this place too) walk down and see me and the cellphone guy giving blank looks to each other. We say hi and I start to ask them for help. Well, apparently Jamelle is a freakin cellphone expert. She starts to explain each model around here but recommends that I get this particular J-Phone model. The screen is big, bright and clear, J-Phone has very nice Eng support and the phone is free since I'm a goddamn english teacher. I ask about the other companies like KDDI and Docomo but she says KDDI doesn't have good eng support and Docomo is fucking expensive. J-Phone it is. She says she converted nearly all the staff into J-Phone users and I am now a follower. Both me and the staff guy thank her for her wisdom and they are off.

The phone has been picked, we fill out the forms. Chapped lips man is a really good guy. We joke and shit and he calls Ryoko a baka ... probably for dumping me on this poor sap and he calls her up to get her sorry ass down here to help him explain how to set this friggin piece of wonder up. I can do that shit. But its good that he did that because I don't know what my phone email address is. So she arrives like 10 mins later and I'm askin all these questions about this phone and she's all running outside to get reception to set this fucker up for the first time or something and I get to "how do I change my email address?". She goes through all this weird shit and gets to where you can input an address. The damned J-staff at work calls me KenKen (theres a Ben also and they call him BenBen) so, whatever, right?? Sure, why the fuck not. I tell her to type in KenKen which lowers my ego and manhood and she says its taken... some pathetic loser took my retarded ass email address! So she just adds my bday at the end of it and my new cell email is kenken2511. Right, so now people ask me how I changed my email and I try to tell them but I have no damn clue.

So now my phone is almost fully set up to my customization and I want to test out the camera. Oh, but I need a subject....but who......hmmmmm. You know the answer. I took a pic (which some of you saw). The quality of the pics are bad if you want to send them thru email but the ones that stay on the phone can turn up real damn nice. Now I got everything on my phone working and I'll do the finishing touches when I'm on the train. Ryoko and I leave, thanking chapped lips dude and I ask her where is a good place to eat. She directs me to a Chinese place and she heads home. Nice place, I order and while I'm waiting for the food, I take a pic of the placemat that has beer on it. It looks nice. It has beer on it. It's my new wallpaper for my phone now.

After I eat, I decide its time to head home. While on the train, I'm playing around with my phone like a high school girl and I realize there's no fucking games on it. What a motherfucker! Whatever. It's been a long day of just buying a cellphone so I relax at home and do dick shit.

Eventually, I get cold nuff and watching the drunks and people hockin karoeke ads on the street get to me and I hop in a cab. I tell the driver to go to Tsujido train station and we're off a few mins later after some confusion. Bla bla bla, we talk, he finds out I ain't fucking Jap, usual shit, quietness after that. While he's driving I'm looking out watching the scenery and watching the taxi meter slowly rise. He asks me something like 'do you have enough money' or 'how much cash do you have?'. I'm like, don't worry you old bastard, I'm sure I got enough. Halfway through the ride, the meter is jumping up like every meter we drive. The GPS garbage must know the driver's outta his territory and is charging by the fucking centimeter. It's now up to about 5500 yen and I'm gettin a little nervous... will he make it on time? Will I have nuff dough or will I just force the door open and run?

A half hour later, we reach familiar land and thank fucking god its about a 3min walk from my house. I tell him to stop here and that its ok. The fucking taxi bill is at something like 9055 yen. I BARELY have enough cash and I think the fucker was asking for a tip. Ok, want a tip? Tell the fucking trains to run all night you piece of rotting shit. I can spare about 3 yen for a tip if you really want it, bastard.

I get out and I am fucking pissed. I spent way too much money these days and using $100 bucks for a fucking shit taxi is not good. Had I known about the late night deal at the internet cafes, I would've saved a good 50-60 bucks. I'm never taking a taxi here again. If I miss the train and I work the next day, I'm fucking sleeping in my computer booth and I'll teach the students all stinky and tired. I don't care.

On my walk back, there is a big intersection and a police box to the right of it. I had my first encounter with a Japanese bike gang that night. It was pretty cool...being the first time and all. Who would've thought there was a bike gang in or near my small, quiet town? Anyway, about 50 or so bikes were riding by and all the policemen in the policebox came out and were standing on the street just watching them go by. Making sure they didn't cause any trouble within 10 meters of the policebox I guess. They drove down from where the taxi came and I hoped they drove my driver off the road. After they were gone, I continued to walk home and when I was almost there, they came back in the opposite direction again. Strange. But the cops were all out again watching them go by. Strange. I arrived home and was watching TV for a little bit and my patio window overlooks the street and the gang all drove by that street and that was it. I'm not sure what the point of a bike gang here is but it seems its all just to drive by police boxes and get the cops attention or something. You bad ass mofos. You go...