Michelle walked about her apartment flipping every light switch and turning on every lamp. If that would some how protect her. She had been relieved that when she emerged from Hillman that evening that Derrick was nowhere to be found. She had visions of him lurking around every corner.

She had gotten a restraining order against him but it hadn't done the trick. He still found ways to harass her. Today had been a very bold move on his part. She knew that she should have called the police right then and there but Dr. Chajson was already not too thrilled by her working there she didn't want to risk a police scene.

Michelle slipped out of her work attire and into boxers and a tank. She was glad to be home but wasn't able to truly relax. Coming face to face with Derrick had stirred up so many memories. Memories that she had worked very hard to move past.

The hardest part of all of this was the fact that for every horrific memory she had of him she also had one as equally wonderful. She had known Derrick all through high school and college. They ran in the same crowd but never really interacted. Yet when she had lost her parents and was forced to live with an aunt she barely knew......Derrick had come to her rescue.

Michelle had felt like she was drowning with no lifeboat in sight. The life that she had known was stolen from her in fail swoop. To this day the images were still fresh in her head.

The blue flashing lights bounced off of the windows in the house, causing blue shadows to dance on the white walls of the den. Michelle had been home on spring break enjoying the quiet of the house. Her mother and father had gone out to celebrate their anniversary. She sat alone in the room watching an old black and white movie when the shadows beckoned her to the window. Pulling back the sheers, Michelle saw a squad car pull into the drive. She rushed to the door before the officers had made it half way up the walk. She felt her blood run cold.

"Michelle Bauer?" the one officer asked. She wasn't able to do more then nod. Her mouth felt as though it was full of cotton. "I'm afraid miss, we have some bad news for you.....there's been an accident."

"NO!" she whispered as she braced herself in the doorway.

"Ed and Maureen Bauer were killed tonight in a collision," his statement echoed the finality of it all.

The officers watched as the young girl slid to the ground crying without making a sound. Her brain run wild thinking that this all had to have been a mistake. That there was no way that her parents were gone. It was a cruel joke and nothing more.

"Miss Bauer," the officer's voice sounded distant to her. Like something out of a dream sequence of a movie, "I understand this is hard but we need you to come to the morgue to identify the bodies." The officer looked at his partner hating every word that had just come from his mouth. This was the part of the job he hated the most.

"What?" Michelle said in disbelief, "You want me to what......?"

"Please would you just come with us."

The smell of death hung in the air as Michelle followed the officers. She shivered not knowing if it was due to the coldness of the room or the reality of seeing the battered faces of her parents. She remembered one of the men holding her while she screamed until she was too hoarse to even speak. From that point on life for Michelle Bauer was no more. She might as well have died along with them........

Michelle wiped away the tears that had fallen in remembrance. That had been such an awful time in her life. One she chose to forget but never could.

So many people surrounded her from that day forward. She felt as if she was suffocating. Every where she turned there was always someone in her face trying to help her. She felt like she wanted to explode.

She did her damnedest to return to some semblance of normal. She threw herself back into college full force. Anything that would make the pain go away. Anything to not have to think about the two people she loved most in this world being gone.

Living with her dad's sister was another complete nightmare. Aunt Hope was more of a warden then anything else. No matter what Michelle did it was never good enough. At every turn she was being poked and prodded to live up to some unattainable image.

Michelle could still hear the woman's voice preaching to her as she walked out the door bags in hand for the very last time.

Derrick waited by the curb as she headed towards the car. It hadn't taken much coaxing on his part to get her to stay with him. A little cocaine and sweet talk was all that Michelle needed to hit the road.

At the time Michelle saw him as her protector. The one to make the pain go away yet now she knew all she had done was replace one pain for another.

At that time in her life she wanted anything that would help her to forget the agonies of life. She had been reluctant at first to the white powder that Derrick brought forth. Drugs had never been her thing actually she barely even drank. But Derrick's description of the freedom that it brought was intoxicating. She was certain now that he had played on her needs. Played on the empty feeling that she had inside. He told her that she didn't have to feel that way anymore. That he had something to make it all go away. That's really what she wanted. She just wanted that feeling to vanish.

If she thought hard enough she was still able to capture the rush that the cocaine gave her.

In an instant that frightened her. She could feel the need for that rush again enveloping her. It was a craving that she didn't know if she would ever be able to truly get out of her system. Michelle walked past the phone forcing her hand away. It would be so easy to just call him. Derrick would have been there in a heart beat. Her fingers touched the receiver lightly without thinking she brought it to her ear. She could hear the melodic sounds as the number rang through.

"I need you....." Michelle said before the voice on the other end could say anything.

Danny walked aimlessly around the halls. He had passed by the office three times now and there still was no sign of Michelle. He couldn't help but wonder if she was all right. Pictures of her confrontation with this Derrick person were still fresh in his mind. As much as he wanted to stop in that room and ask about her, he couldn't bring his feet to comply. The war raged on in his head. The endless battle between preserving Caitlyn's memory and exploring his ever growing need to get close to Michelle.

"Are you Danny Santos?" the man in the white coat asked startling him.

"Who wants to know?" Danny spouted back. It was tough to shake the hard exterior that he had formed around himself.

"I'm Dr. Chajson. I believe that we were to be in session fifteen minutes ago," he returned annoyed.

"We were?" Danny said completely taken aback, "I had no idea."

"What do you mean you had no idea? Weren't you given a schedule of our sessions?"

"No," he stated.

"That damn girl. I knew it was a mistake to let her work here," Dr. Chajson said more to himself then to Danny.

"Excuse me..."

"Never mind," Dr. Chajson was irked with himself for letting Kathy talk him into taking Michelle under her wing. She was convinced that Michelle had a great deal to offer the program if given half a chance. So against his better judgment he had agreed but so far he hadn't seen this great potential that Kathy spoke of. All he saw was an inept young woman who was nothing more then a thorn in his side.

"So are we meeting or what?" Danny questioned in a gruff manner. He had had enough of this man already. Couldn't wait to see how he thought he was going to help him.

"I need to be at the hospital in a half hour....I think we will have to reschedule."

"Whatever......" Danny returned not caring whether he had his 'session' with the great doctor or not.

"I'll talk with my assistant Kathy to be sure that you are included in her group session. It should be starting in an hour or so."

"Fine...whatever," Danny rolled his eyes wondering what Bernard had to be thinking putting him here.

"Mr. Santos, let me remind you that this is no joke," Dr. Chajson returned sternly. "Alcoholism is no laughing matter."

"Who's laughing?" But Danny was laughing....cackling almost. Here he was trying to find his way in a place full of lunatics.

"Mr. Santos....with an attitude like that.....I seriously doubt that you will make any progress."

"Well.....guess we will have to wait and see now won't we?" Danny stifled another wave of laughter.

Dr. Chajson shook his head as he walked away. Regretting yet another thing he had let himself be talked into. If he hadn't been indebted to Bernard Rivera for his life Danny Santos would have been out the door by now if had ever gotten in in the first place.

Danny pensively entered the room full of people. He felt completely out of place. Looking around the room again asking himself how he had gotten to this point in his life. But he did know. The reason ate at him every second of every day. Caitlyn was gone with no way of bringing her back. That fact had pushed him to a point he had never been before. Forced him into a corner like a wounded animal.

Danny slipped into an empty chair to the back of the room hoping to disappear into the walls unnoticed. His head jerked at the sound of her voice. Michelle was standing right outside the room. It was hard to miss the sweet tone of her voice. Danny wasn't able to stop his heart from skipping a beat.

"Kathy, no...really...I can't...I don't want to do this....." he heard Michelle begging.

"Listen Michelle, you were the one who called me remember? I can only do so much to help you. You have to help yourself as well. You knew this would be an up hill battle all the way." he heard the unfamiliar voice say.

Danny wondered what it was they were talking about. Did it have anything to do with this Derrick guy or maybe working here wasn't what she thought it was going to be. He could only imagine what it was like having to work for a guy like Dr. Chajson. Danny's first impression of the great doctor was less then favorable.

"I know.....I know Kathy." It was hard to miss the note of defeat in Michelle's tone. "I just was hoping to be further along then this. I didn't expect it to be hitting me in the face all at once."

"Come on, Michelle inside. This is an ongoing process. Each step forward is a small one but you will make it. You're strong...you know it and I know it." Kathy smiled draping her arm around her friend.

"How can you be so sure?' Michelle asked still doubting her every move.

"If your weren't strong.....you wouldn't have called me....you would have went out to find what you were craving." Danny couldn't help but wonder what it was they were talking about. He was totally enthralled in this private conversation. One that he had had no business listening to but wasn't able to stop.

"Yeah...maybe you're right. I just know that I can't let myself get sucked back into it all again. I can't!"

"You won't. I won't let you." Kathy squeezed Michelle's shoulder reassuring her that she was going to be okay, "Come on let's get inside before the natives get restless."

Danny's breath caught in his throat as he looked at Michelle enter the room. She was a beautiful as the images in his mind. She took a seat up front. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. Her hair fell in soft waves around her face. Every minute he fought the urge to go forward and touch her. Her tanned skin called to him. He imagined running his hands over her shoulders down her arms........

"Good morning everyone," Kathy's voice caused him to return to reality all the while his eyes fixed on Michelle. Danny shifted in his chair just like a school boy who had just been caught cheating when Michelle's eyes met his.

Michelle settled into the seat next to Kathy fighting every urge to run from the room. She looked at the sea of vacant faces in front of her, panic consumed her. It was one thing to work in the office it was another to be a part of a group session.

Kathy had convinced her it was time that she started dealing with her past. Michelle could hear Kathy's words echoing in her ears........."Michelle, you have dealt with the addiction but you never dealt with it's cause. Until you do that you will never be truly free..........."

Truly free.....Michelle wasn't able to remember a time when she had felt that. Not even when her parents had been alive. There had always been the pressure to perform. To be the best at one thing or another....to excel in everything that she did. That feeling only intensified after their death. Her aunt's constant reminders that she had an image to live up to served to deepen Michelle's sense of never being good enough. Until finally, she just gave into the image in her head. Slowly she let everything slip through her fingers. Let her aunts words shape her into a person devoid of feeling, pride and a sense of herself. That had given Derrick a clear opportunity to pull her into his world. A world where he had wanted her from the first time he laid eyes on her.

"Okay everyone...let's settle down," Kathy did her best to get the groups attention.

It was then that Michelle's eyes traveled to the back of the room. They locked with Danny Santos' piercing black eyes. The intensity of his stare sent ripples of electricity down her spine. She shifted uneasily in the chair. She wanted to look away but she couldn't. They were both fixated on the other.

"Okay....everyone," Kathy started, "You all know the rules her. There are no secrets in this room....and what is said here stays here. Understood?" Her question was met with various nods. "Michelle, would you like to start?"

"Huh?" Michelle said forcing her gaze from Danny.

"I asked you if you would start off the group?" Kathy looked to the back of the room at the dark brooding figure that she was certain had to be Danny Santos. Dr. Chajson had not painted a pleasant picture of the man. Kathy couldn't help but notice the intense reaction that these two had towards each other.

"Kathy.....I don't know....I think no...not yet ...please?"

"Michelle, no time like the present."

Danny smiled thinking back to the other day. Those same words had been used on him by Michelle but now she had the very same expression he was sure had been on his face.

"Kathy, please," Michelle pleaded.

Michelle knew better then to continue to argue with her. She wasn't going to win. No matter what she said. In her heart, Michelle was certain that Kathy had her best intentions in mind, but as she stood before this group she felt too vulnerable and exposed.

"Hi everyone," Michelle hesitated, "My name is Michelle Bauer......"

"Man she's one hell of a looker," Kirk Maxwell said slipping into the chair adjacent to Danny. "Did I miss much?" he asked.

Danny suppressed the urge to reach over and snap this guys neck as he watched him eyeing Michelle as she stood before them telling her story. Every muscle in Danny's body tensed as Kirk continued with his endless remarks. He felt his jaw clench and hands form fists as Kirk leaned in to whisper what he would like to do to her.

"YOU TOUCH HER YOU DIE!" Danny returned in a hoarse violent whisper.

"Hit a nerve did I? What you got something going with her man? Sorry, I didn't know." Kirk countered.

"No," Danny said looking him directly in the eye.

"Then what's the problem man?" Kirk laughed.

"Excuse me?" Kathy said interrupting the conversation at the back of the room. "If you haven't noticed gentlemen......we are trying to conduct a group session."

"I was just asking which group this was," Kirk lied. "I'm in the wrong room. Sorry, didn't mean to disturb you all," he said with the sweetest of tones.

"Well, then I suggest you find where it is you are supposed to be," Kathy stated, "And you, Mr. Santos....why don't you join us closer to the front."

"I prefer to stay right where I am," Danny was still trying to get a grip on himself. His reaction to Kirk's words had sent him into a cold sweat. He did his best to rationalize that it was just his training taking over. Yet what was rational about having such a severe reaction for a girl he barely knew.

"I insist. If you want to make any progress here...you are going to have to join in." Kathy pointed to a seat within inches of where Michelle was standing.

"Really, I'm fine right where I am!" he forced.

"Excuse me....last time I checked you didn't run the show here. No matter who you were on the outside." Kathy knew better then to bully someone who wasn't ready but something inside her told her this would be the only way to get Danny Santos to comply with her wishes.

The hairs on the back of his neck bristled at her words. Danny fought the drive to stand up and walk out of the room. No one talked to him that way. No one ever dared to speak to the head of Santos Crime Family in that manner. Danny looked around him though remembering that he was out of his element here. And if he ever expected to get back to his world again he better start playing along.

Michelle concentrated on his form as he came forward taking the seat before her. She saw the fury raging in his black eyes as he forced his body into the chair. Kathy had crossed a line with this one. Michelle hoped that she knew what she was doing.

"Please go on Michelle," Kathy said satisfied that the pecking order had been properly established.

"Like I was saying......." Michelle found it hard to concentrate as Danny's eyes bore into her very being. It was like he held her captive with his gaze. "I........" she rubbed her hands against her shorts trying desperately to come up with the words...any words. Her brain was in complete melt down having this handsome man within reach of her.

"I have had my share of problems......it's just that well sometimes you can't escape......what I mean is there are times that you...." Michelle turned back to Kathy eyes imploring her to save her. She was drowning here.

"Michelle, it's okay," Kathy tried to comfort her friend. Kathy had been through it all with Michelle. She understood that it wasn't going to be an easy road for Michelle but she had to travel it none the less. She had to be strong enough to force Derrick from her life or she would never be able to move forward.

"I'm sorry," Michelle sat back down trying to stave off the oncoming tears which fell none the less.

Danny found himself reaching out to wipe the tears that trailed down her cheeks. Michelle was startled first then his gentle caress was a great comfort. A faint smile passed her lips. She reached up to return the touch. Instantly Danny pulled away as if his flesh had just come into contact with a scorching pan. He was gone from the room before either Kathy or Michelle could say a thing.

Kathy turned to see the connection between the two. It was a hard one to miss. In the instant that Danny touched Michelle the rest of the world fell away. Yet, as quickly as that connection was made that's how abruptly it had disappeared. For whatever reason Danny rushed from the room as if he had been shot from a cannon.

Kathy looked at Michelle's face as she watched Danny retreating through the doorway. Disbelief was written all over it. Part of Kathy worried that Michelle was getting in over her head again. Putting herself in but another situation that would only cause her pain. Yet on the other hand, Kathy had read the file on Danny Santos. She knew that his experiences were quite similar to those of Michelle's. Possibly they might just be what each other needed.

Michelle headed to the office after the session had finally come to an end. It had been a disaster. Instead of leaving her with a sense of purpose, it had only served to again reinforce how worthless she was. She had completely blown it back there. Again she felt the desire for escape filling her.

"Just one hit....one hit....one hit won't hurt......" The tiny voice in her head repeated. It was calling to her as it had last night. She had been clean for months now but that didn't make any difference to her right now. All she wanted was this feeling to go away. The feeling that she had let Kathy down. That she had blown it in there. She knew the only thing that would make it go away. Derrick could make it vanish. Derrick made everything disappear.

Michelle reached into her bag. There were now two voices speaking in her head as she dialed his familiar number.

"Call him....just do it.....you know you want to.......just do it Michelle......you will feel so much better......"

"You are stronger then this....." the second voice stressed, "don't let him suck you in again......remember how hard you had to fight this....remember how much he hurt you........"

"Derrick," she said breathless trying to choose between the two voices. Each persistent in their attempts to win her over.

"Michelle?" Derrick was shocked to hear her voice. He had been more surprised that she hadn't called the cops on him the other day. What he had done was so stupid.

"Yeah...yeah it's me," she said licking her lips. "I need to see you. I have to see you," she returned adamantly.

"What.....what is it?" he asked already knowing. He had heard that plea from her many times in the past.

"I just need to see you."

"All right," he returned smiling to himself. She would always be his. No matter how hard she tried to fight it. There wasn't any way for her to escape her needs.

"Great.....meet me at the center in an hour. I will be in the parking lot waiting."

"I'll be there."

"Thank you Derrick."

"Not a problem baby," he commented slyly happy to have his foot in the door once again.

Again Danny was aimlessly wandering the halls. Visions of his touching Michelle playing over and over again in his mind. It had been such a natural reaction. Comforting her had been second nature to him. He chastised himself. Thinking what a dishonor it was to Caitlyn's memory. She had been gone less then a year and he wasn't about to let himself file her away into the back of his mind. She deserved better then that. She deserved him to be faithful to her memory. If it hadn't been for him she would still be alive. The least he could do for her was not forget her.

But why was that easier said then done? Why was it everytime he closed his eyes he saw the image of Michelle rather then Caitlyn's face? It was utterly frustrating for him. He walked into his room taking her picture in his hands. There she was strikingly beautiful. The girl who Danny had every intention of making his wife. He let his fingers trace her features. How he would have given anything for a drink. He craved the stupor that would end this pain. Why hadn't Ray and Bernard just left him be? Why couldn't they see that without her he was nothing? It would have been better for all concerned if he was to have just faded into the background.

A knocking on the door made him jump. He replaced the picture on the desk and answered the door.

"Mr. Santos," the woman from this morning addressed him, "I think that we need to talk about what happened this morning."

"What's there to talk about?" he said sarcastically.

"A great deal."

"What.......is this where you are going to tell me that I was a bad boy for leaving the room and I have to go to bed with no dessert?" Danny could hear the asperity in his tone but didn't care. All he wanted right now was a bottle of scotch. Something to drown his attraction to Michelle Bauer in. Something to make it all go away.

"Very funny, Mr. Santos. You're quite the comic." Kathy was finding it increasingly difficult to keep her temper in check. It wasn't like she hadn't run across patients like this before but something about him made her anger flare.

"So I've been told," he returned dryly.

"I think it's too early for you to be involved with the group. If today is any indication we have a great deal of work ahead of us. Dr. Chajson has been asked to speak at a symposium so it looks as though you will be assigned to my care for a few weeks in his absence."

"Whatever."

"I have some free time in a half hour...I expect to see you in my office. Is that understood?"

"Yes ma'am," Danny gave her a mock salute.

"Just be there," she returned sternly.

Danny closed the door behind her again longing for a drink. It was such an all consuming desire. He glanced out the window to the employee parking area. There was Michelle. Hair being tossed about in the wind. His pulse quickened thinking of how soft her skin had been. He couldn't stop the images of touching her again. They crept into his thoughts. Holding her close to him was something that he wanted to do more then just imagine. His conscious caused him to look at Caitlyn's adoring eyes starring back at him. It was ultimate betrayal to her. He did his best to push thoughts of Michelle out of his mind. The blood froze in his veins when he looked back out the window to see Derrick standing there holding Michelle the way that he desired too.