This is the love of My Life.
My Soulmate.
"Soulmate - that perfect and equal match between a man and a woman
where their spirits, emotions, and morale are either similar
or complementary, forming a blissful and fulfilling bond between the two "
I didn't know the meaning of Love until I met Ray. We met just after I became an officer and I had made the decision about a year earlier to be a "Career Gal." It was the first day of class and I was reminiscing with my fellow OTS grads about some of our crazier and juicier moments when I felt a "THUMP" on my shoulder. I felt a little annoyed to be interrupted, but I turned around anyway. I had already seen him earlier, but didn't think anything at the time. Oh, I noticed he was big and muscular, but I was still telling myself I'm not in to that anymore. What came out of his mouth can only be described as "What?" He asked me, " You Knox? I'm your sponsor." I replied, "Yes," and promptly turned back to my conversation. I guess most guys would have thought, "Wow, you are stuck up." Well, to make this short, he followed me and sat beside me in class and we were never separated the whole time in school. Through it all from then until now he and I grew to love one another and soon we will pledge our love and commitment in front of our family, friends, and God..
In remembrance of his love.
We have both learned it is a choice to love another human being. And in one's life you may love many or a few. But for a few blessed folks you find "THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE." and God willing, we will spend the rest of our lives loving one another as unconditionally as we possibly can. He has loved before and so have I. You ask, "What makes this so different?" He would have to answer for himself, but as for me . . .
Never has a man wanted to take care of me and expected I take care of him in the same complete way. This or that was wanted but never a complete deal. Mainly most wanted a trophy but without a brain which "Sorry, can't give that!" Ray and I went to lunch that day and talked as if we have known one another for years. I felt utterly comfortable in his presence, but at the same time increasing excited by the possibility of what was occurring. Two days later I'm on the phone to my parents exclaiming, " I found my Soulmate and He is the ONE I'm going to marry." I just knew. No questions of "Will this work better than before?" or "Let's wait and give it time to see how things go." I didn't know anything about his past, nor he mine, but I knew it didn't matter what was up in either of our lives, because it would work itself out in time and everything would turn out alright. How can I say that? If you wait as long as I have for my mate to arrive, a little longer to sort out one's life is a little thing. With Ray I am who I am and there is no mask. There is a poem by Paul Dunbar called "We Wear the Mask" and although it speaks about the way Black people must wear one face when around other folks and another with our own people, it can hold true in the art of love and dating. Sometimes we find ourselves dancing to a song we don't like and can't find a way to end it, but with Ray I find I don't want to stop dancing because the song is wonderful and I never want it to end. Just as my self in its entirety and truest form is what this wonderful man knows and loves.
If you have read Ray's history then you know we are to be married 12 May 2001, at high noon. I will finish with this, he is everything I am and everything I am not. Just as I am everything he is and everything he is not. We are opposites and yet very similar. That is why I knew he was the Man for me. I don't know of everything he needs and realistically never will, the beauty of it is I don't have to. Nor does he with me. I am what he isn't and he is what I am not, with that we don't have to know everything and have it on paper like some kind of checklist entitled " To Do - How to make Ray Happy." What we are to one another takes care of that. Two pieces of a puzzle: when apart they are just cardboard, but together make a glorious picture of something wonderful. Before we came together we loved, but always wanting and seeking more, half complete but pseudocontent to go with the status quo. Us together we are achieving Nirvana, or perfect peace. Able to love completely and unconditionally just as Christ loves us. Our goal in life is to love one another until the last breath expires from our lungs, our hearts stops beating, or our brain ceases to function. Even in death our Love Will stay strong until the Lord calls us home, together.
To Ray: I love you. You do not have to be perfect, just be
Why
is love worth it?
Love
is worth this.
Before
you say a word, let me share with you a few thoughts
Love
is the worth our smiles as we wake up in each other’s arms?
Love
is the worth missing the most perfect putt on the most perfect day?
What
is the worth of a day spent with you falling asleep while I caress your head?
Leaving
me to watch over you and keep you safe from harm.
What
is the worth of you knowing I’m there whenever you need me to be and even when
you do not.
What
is the worth of knowing you can lean on me
And
not have to be so strong, because I can be your strength when you feel as if you
cannot hold on.
What
is the worth of knowing someone loves you unconditionally?
Knowing
the feeling of peace and contentment,
But
also a passion as strong as titanium steel.
Isn’t
love about wanting to be there for one another even if it hurts?
Knowing
when the other is happy, sad, or hurt.
Knowing
even if nothing can be done to change what you are feeling
Just
trying means the difference between indifference and realizing what one feels
the other does as well.
Because
when you are happy, we are happy.
Loving
you is like a great book that cannot be put down.
It’s
like the change of the caterpillar to the beautiful butterfly,
Exquisite
in it’s new form, leaving its old self behind.
Going
from what was to what is and what can be as this life unfolds.
What
is the worth of love knowing it is priceless?
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