| kids don't like to share #9 |
| just like me. i am lost in a dream as it seems like i am still awake. make this mistake that replays in my head go away. day after day it haunts my every step. kept the souvenirs after all these years just to remind me of you. do i burn it all tonight so i can finally move on. gone from my sight and still i picture you everywhere i go. know what i know would you still be in my position if you had a disorder just like me. free a space in my mind for a place is saved just for you. through darkness my heart turns black for there is no turning back. lack what i lack would you still struggle through life just like me. see the future you could have but still be scared to do anything at all. fall face first hit the dirt wish i could just lay here until i die. try as hard as i can but there is a force field stopping my every step. let me know to know where i stand help this helpless boy to enjoy the last few remaining years. fear what i fear would you be stronger than me at the times when you need it the most or would you still be afraid just like me. the mistake i should have never made. do you remember me at all or are you choosing to forget that i even existed. i know i sure as hell can't forget you. you for a girl i don't even know means a hell of a lot more than anything in my life right now. i don't want to forget, but i know that one day i am going to have to wake up to the fact that i wont be waking up next to you. and that hurts me everyday that sometimes i just don't want to wake up at all. i would take everything back for just one morning to wake up with you in my arms. i would give up my life just to wake up happy for once. i know nothing will ever change these feelings that i have for you. so as hard as it will be, the only thing that will keep me breathing is to forget you. i know it will be tough, but this is the only way i know how to go on. since i am not brave enough to have taken the chance where i would have been happy. i guess there is no other way. the first day i saw you i closed my eyes, pictured you in my mind, tattooed your smile onto my heart and made a memory of you. so i could never forget you, but by not seeing you, not thinking of you, not dreaming of you. each day i lose one section of that memory i made for you in my head. and one day i am going to forget you completely. i don't know when that day will come but i know it wont be soon. i know that this will be one of the hardest things i will ever have to do in my life. two years. as the black night invades the orange covered sky. old memories are taking over my mind as i try to drink you goodbye. two years of recollections that i'm trying to get rid of. i think of all the foolish promises i made for the false sake of love. you told me you never really loved me as my heart turns black. as all the times i wasted on you that i now want back. two years too long for nothing was ever spoken. as all of our favorite things are now on the floor and broken. all the lessons life taught us was never learned. as all the pictures of us is now ripped up and burned. all that i cherished has been blown up in smoke. all the wasted kisses i wasted on you now make me choke. throw it all in my face tonight as i walk out the door. every thought i had of when of when i think of you scars me even more. up against the wall as i drink another memory reducing beer. killing all the thoughts that happened over the years. i guess i was just chasing dreams that was never meant to come true. as my dreams became nightmares with every thought i had of you. i wish i could take back all the time we spent. because now i hate every line that i ever meant. every line i said to who i thought was more than just a friend. as you ruined me for life, i guess i will never fall in love again. |
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