| could you spare some change. and i guess i was mistaken. i thought people can change. but it seems like the more i think about it. people will always stay the same. even if it looks like there is hope on tomorrows horizon and tomorrow will be better than today. this world doesn't surprise me when they stay the same as it was yesterday. i always had a hope for reason. i only wanted to be happy in this life that i was living. and as this world is spinning i've realized that people stopped giving. they stopped seeing a meaning to go on. to move out of this state of mind. that everything will eventually turn out wrong in everything you do. and in some strange feeling deep inside me. the feeling i get right before i fall asleep. that feeling sometimes tells me that they might just be right. but that wont ever the way i live my life. i've thought about it a million times before. maybe too much, maybe not enough. and i know we have to fight. we have to give up on failure. and we have to start relying on something that will only actually help us figure this out. not something that will delay the process of reconsiliation. we have a change the way we all live and we must stop living from disappoinment to disappointment. and we can't ever change if we never grow up. and when i look outside today it still sickens me to death. it makes me sicker everyday when i see horrible images thats not imagined in my head, but it's happening right in front of me. my eyes could have been lying, but my heart still gets worse by the minute. and that sometimes i see this very hurt and sick that resides in this world today. that sometimes i just want to throw it all away. everything i accomplished in my life. sometimes i feel like it never will matter at the end of my so called life. everything i've strived to conquer, once in a while, it all comes down to me blaming myself. and as we move away from the light. i fear we will never get the help. the help we rightfully deserve in this crazy messed up world. and i know i wont change the world today. but at least i can make my life better than it was yesterday. tragically unspoken. with every word coming out wrong. and your life seems to be coming to an end. everyday seems to be worse than the day before. tragically unspoken never got to say whats on your mind. your life fades away as everyday becomes darker than the day before. gave up a long time ago, never had a reason to go on. never felt a hand helping you. never heard a voice telling you what was right. never got a chance to shine, to show the world the talent you have inside. and even if it's been two and a half years since this all started. it still lurks inside and out and around you everyday. not knowing when it will strike next. and you still walk away when i try to help you. why do you keep on pushing me away. you rather sit alone. i try to give you a hand, but you don't want to recieve the help you deserve. in some aspects of your tragic, i see where you are going. you don't need help, you need time, you need to be alone. so you can still think about everything and everyone. never been taught the meaning of hope. never awoke to see how beautiful life could be. and maybe to you, it's better this way. walking away. memories lasting a lifetime, in my head as we speak. soon to be forgotten. not because i wanted, but because i had no other choice. years have been spent together. lives has changed. dreams put to the side. waiting on a dust filled shelf. waiting to be used again. nights filled with long walks in the rain. hands wanting to be filled with her touch. never wanting to be let go. eyes filled with tears and rain as my clothes and heart are drenched with cold uneasy sadness. mind filled with the most beautiful girl i could have ever dreamed of. life filled with apathy and heartache. the sight of you blinds me with such wonerful thoughts i could never dreamed of in all my life. i often wonder where i would be if i never met you. every single time i have no answer to give. what can i do. what can i say. when i say i love you and you walk away. lost. trapped, locked, lost in your own dismay. not knowing where to go. not knowing what to say. help is always too far away. when you don't know where to start. |
| kids don't like to share #8 |
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