kdlts8-3

kids don't like to share #8

alone i fall.
as i am waiting, wasting away, stranded and standing alone. out of reach of my very own life. trying to grasp onto anything that is willing to grasp me back in return. as you are the only thing that i truly want in my life. you seem to far out of reach. as it seems i wasted away the only chance i had to be with you. with a wave, a smile and as i hit the van door mirror with my shoulder, as you looked toward me and smiled as you in the backseat drove away. looking back at me, as i looked at you with a piece of glass and a ton of metal, you got further and further away. it seems like i will have no other chance to be with you. as it has been so long since the last time i saw you that friday. i am afraid i will never see you again. i always stay longer everytime i go back to the place where i was last happy. i always seem to look over my shoulder as someone walks by. for a split second i always wish it to be you. but it's not. as i turn back around my head looks toward the ground as a sigh of loneliness escapes from within. i only want to see you. i only want to be with you for the rest of my life. is that too much to ask from someone i don't really know, but would really love to get to know a whole hell of a lot better. it seems without you in my life. right here, right now. alone i fall.

the right words to say.
i always thought this day would never come. but i guess i can't change whats already been done. i never wanted to hear those words spoken loudly and true. ican't believe harsh words spoken with such hatred could have ever came from you. twenty past the hour and years to go. deep down inside we had to know, this would never be as this would have come eventually. much sooner than expected, i guess we both were rejected. and seriously speaking we laughed. we knew all this time hard decisions would pass. and i know three months has gone by since the last time we spoke. but it's so hard to cope without you today. my mind goes blank as i still can't find the right words to say.

something more.
when will this happen for me, i was waiting here since three. it's now four and i am bored and i'm sick of fucking waiting. my time is wearing thin and i feel like giving in. to what you want me to be. i can hardly see anything that i wanted in the first place. my mind seemed to have been erased from the first face that wasn't you. what should i do with my life today. should i turn my head and walk away. should i make another excuse i wont even believe in. when can i finally win. i know winning isn't everything, but it means something if you have anything worth giving up everything for. but whats in store for someone who has nothing anymore, should i just wait for something more.

goodbye & farewell.
to all of those who knew, the pain you were going through. i could never come to recognize. as a part of me begins to die. i'm at a loss for words for the first time today. my mind goes blank as i think of what to say.as it feels like you left tonight wanting a little more. my eyes find the ground as it did so many times before. in a moments notice nothing was spoken. hope shattered and a heart broken. nothing will matter now and forever. as we broke our promise of growing old together. on my own and all alone is how i now reside. an unknown as i've grown since the day you died. a salty discharge escapes from my eyes as i start to fade away. as a follow man stands in front of the world today. and when i finally found out what to say you were nowhere to be found. i was never good at goodbyes as i fall to the ground. and now i'm in hell for not saying farewell when i had the chance my friend. as i lay next to your grave soaking up the falling rain, i feel i will never be the same again.

out for the summer.
3 months have passed by so fast. everyday i wonder how long will this last. i'm hoping the thought of you will always remain. the bottle is almost empty and this is all i can say. going to sleep on my own and waking up alone. doesn't help the fact that i still miss you. everyday is getting worse than the day before. i don't know whats in store for me and the days ahead. waking up in bed at 4am with the thought of you still in my head. instead of going back to sleep. i lay there thinking of you. what should i do when all i do is think and dream of us two. i miss seeing you week after week. my knees get so weak as i fall to the ground today. please show me the way. my life is in your hands. please let me understand. as i try to comprehend, please reveal yourself today. i can't go on any longer. as this feeling i have for you is getting stronger. i only wish to see you once more and again.