Chapter

Kevin's day passed rather quietly. He wasn't feeling quite like himself so he decided to just stay in the room and try to relax. Luke had long since left him and he was laying on the bed....talking to himself.

"Kev...Kev.....holy hell, ...could your life get any stranger??? I know all I need is one chance to talk to Kaylee...just one. It would be great to be able to tell her what was wrong...to be able to tell ANYONE what was wrong....no..no...that ain't true Kev and you know it! You CAN tell the guys...only problem...they'll say told ya so.......well.......fuck them!"

Kevin's solo conversation was interrupted by the loud banging on his door...and the yelling coming from the other side.

"KEVIN!!!! Yo.....Kev......open the damn door!", yelled AJ, "we know you're in there...so open up!"

"BITE ME AJ! Leave me alone!"

"Awww Kev .. man, just let us in....we wanna make sure you're ok."

"I'M FINE....now go the hell away! Are you deaf????"

Just then the next voice chimed in......"TRAIN! C'mon man...let us in for a few minutes, then we'll leave you alone for a few hours, ok?", Nick yelled from the other side of the door.

At this point Kevin realized resistance was futile. They'd just stay there all afternoon if he didn't let them in...let them talk...then kick their asses out!

Kevin padded across the floor and opened the door.

AJ and Nick took one look at Kevin and had to stifle their laughter. Kevin's hair was all over the place...falling in his face and sticking up in the back. His jeans were undone and threatening to fall off his long torso. He still had not bothered with a shirt, shoes or a shave.

"Holy hell Kev! Did ya get the plate number of the truck that ran YOU over", asked AJ.

"Bed head..........pffftttttt.......", Nick exclaimed, laughingly. Nick then risked a closer glance at Kevin. He attempted to look under the mass of hair that was in Kevin's face....and he reached over to lift some of it up.

"Carter....freeze!! Do not touch me! Hey..hey... I mean it....NICK! Stop it! I'll kick your ass little man! BACK OFF", Kevin yelled as he jerked Nick's hand away. He then reached up, pushed his hair back off his face, and stepped aside to let the two men in.

"Shit Kev...what's wrong", asked AJ, "she didn't turn ya down, did she?"

Kevin had stopped to pull his hair back into a ponytail, when he looked at AJ with sad eyes, and said..."yeah man...she did. You guys were right ... she was only using me", Kevin sighed, and his eyes started to fill with tears again.

"Oh man Kev...that's wrong...so wrong. I'm sorry. You must've had one helluva night bro", replied AJ.

"Yeah Kev..I'm really sorry. You gotta be hurtin' right now", Nick said sympathetically.

"Shit guys...everyone saw it c...cc...coming b..bbut me", Kevin said through his tears, "and yeah...Aje....I had a suckass night. Except for one moment...yeah...it sucked!"

Eyebrows raised, AJ looked at Kevin curiously, "and what does that mean, Kev?"

And, with the question asked, Kevin began to tell his story from the night before, the best he could remember. AJ and Nick couldn't believe what he was telling them. Who was this woman, and how could she NOT know who he was?

"So .. have ya talked to her at all since last night man", AJ asked his friend.

Kevin sighed...shook his head...and answered, "Nope AJ, I haven't. Luke did though...thought she was a real lady. But, he don't know anymore about her today...than I did last night....", Kevin's voice trailed off, as he walked toward the balcony doors, and gazed outside.

"Well Kev", Nick spoke softly, while resting his hand, on his big brother's shoulder, "we got 2 nights here....maybe you'll get lucky and find her, ok? Don't give up...."

Kevin turned to look at the blonde man behind him and said, "Nicky...luck is something that does NOT seem to be a friend of mine lately.....and honestly...I dunno what to do anymore. Except for right now....I DO know that I would really like to find Kaylee again. I just don't know how to do it......and I really wish someone had the answer for me....I'm too tired to think for myself......and too alone to think straight."

Kevin shrugged his broad shoulders and turned back to the balcony doors and shook his head.

"I always know what to do....why don't I know this time," Kevin asked both men.

"Kevin, you're right....you always find a way to do the right thing. It'll come to you...trust me...ok," AJ replied, as he headed for the door.

"C'mon Nick-ay...let's leave him alone before its time to get to the soundcheck. Get some rest Kev...everything will work itself out....", AJ said as he moved Nick to the door and out into the hall, "you're a good man....good things will happen....in time."

"Yeah, Kev....don't sweat it man...things will get better", Nick said as he gave Kevin the best hug he'd had in a long time.

"Thanks guys...now get the hell outta here before I cry again", Kevin muttered as he shut the door behind them.

He then walked over to the bed....gave in to letting his jeans just fall off his body...stepped out of them and caught a quick glimpse of himself in the mirror. Sober now, he studied himself again. And, for the first time in a long while...Kevin thought that maybe...just maybe...he could almost see what others saw as he stood there in his boxers.

He'd always been proud of his body. His chest was firm and well defined, as were his arms. His waist was trim and his hips narrow. He worked hard to stay that way. He loved to eat, so he knew he had to work out daily to keep from becoming double his size.

His eyes were his strongest feature. He never realized how much of his soul was bared through his eyes...until right at that moment. He could see what the world saw in his eyes. All the pain and confusion of a man with a broken heart.

He pulled out his ponytail, let his long hair fall loose, it was almost to his shoulders. Then he turned and laid down on the bed hoping he could rest and not think of all the upset in his life.
He pulled the comforter up to his waist...tossed one arm over his head...closed his eyes..and fell into a restless sleep.