Unattainable Love

There are so many emotions
Racking my brain.
I don�t know what to think of you.
You�ve dragged me
On this leash of my emotional and physical strain.
You have drained me of my strength
And you have dominated my mind.
Without my authorization.
Don�t you realize the effect you have over me.
My heart is in your hands
I am completely vulnerable.
What are you doing to me?
It�s nothing that I understand
You have all the power
And I sit here wanting and needing.
I want to scream out loud till I can no longer go on.

I can�t
I can�t sit here and allow myself to think I could be yours
When I know your heart belongs somewhere else.
But yet you continue to lead me on this leash
Like a mindless sex toy that you can throw away in a whim
You tell me all your inner secrets and desires
You use me as if you would want to live those fantasies
With me.
But you say "we�ll never be more than friends"

Should I let you use me?
I want you so badly
I want you to be near me always.
You say it will benefit me
Will it?
You say it will not go any further
I feel like my heart is torn
Beyond repair!

Be gentle with me
Please!
My every emotion, my every feeling
Is in your grasp
And on your leash
That you pull me along with

Tonight I await your arrival.
With anxiety and uneasiness,
My stomach churns and my body trembles
at the very thought of you.
Because you see, you�ve conqoured my defenses.
I�m under your control,
And I hate it.
So don�t tell me you love me
These words mean so much
Yet mean nothing!