It’s
16.02 now.
I
re-read my 12th Dec entry and suddenly recalled what Patrick had told
me on Friday afternoon regarding my answering the phone in a ‘bedroom
voice’. For which I don’t know whether to perceive it as an insult or
compliment.
He
‘advised’ me to clear my throat before I answer phone calls whilst half
awake. Said it sounded too sexy….and went on to add how it resembled either
‘post-coital’ bedroom voice or ‘I-want-it-bad-right-here-right-now’
bedroom voice.
Could’ve thrown up what I had for breakfast, lunch and the dinner from the night before. He’d be the last effing bastard I’d use a bedroom voice on even if I wanted it bad. Just when he was starting to seem easy to work with. Damnit! Should start dressing up as a man to work.
Once again I've managed to get invites for the weekend gig. Ahhh Sister Bliss here I come! A few more invites and I swear Angie would be able to remember everything down to my IC number.
Once in a house on a hill a boy got
angry
He broke into my heart
For a day and a night I stayed beside
him
Until I had no hope
So I came down the hill
Of course I was hurt
But then I started to think
It shouldn’t hurt me to be free
That‘s what I really need to pull
myself together
But if it’s so good being free
Would u mind telling me
Why I don’t know what to do with
myself?
There’s a park by the dock
Where I found myself
Drinking with this man
He offered me a cigarette and I
accepted
Cuz it’s been a very long time
As it burned till the end
I thought of the boy
No one could ever forget
It shouldn’t hurt me to be free
It‘s what I really need to pull
myself together
But if it’s so good being free
Would u mind telling me
Why I don’t know what to do with
myself?
If it’s so good being free
Would you mind telling me
Why I don’t know what to do with
myself?
(Emiliana Torrini- To Be Free)
Once
again days pass by without setting foot at my doorstep. Dawn and dusk bear no
meaning as they used to. My days have turned into nights and nights into days.
They seem to like to be put that way better.
Kat
flips the papers, in search for something. What is it she’s searching for? I
wish I knew and so does she. An escape? An opportunity? A big break? Perhaps.
The palms sway and the wind is no longer heading the way they were anymore. And John Williams is unleashing melodrama and melancholy with his Cavatina.
It’s 4.30pm now but the sky says 7pm. Whatever happened to happy sunshine?
For once in my life I’m tired of men. But having said that, I do well thank all the bastards I have met in my life. Some make you push yourself to the edgy to become better than you can ever be. Some makes you realise how diverse in characters this world is. Some make you realise you’re not trash and therefore you shouldn’t be treated like one. Some tell you that you’re trash. Some make you recognise those who want to fuck you and forget you. And together they make you realise how you are in deserving of better days. Don’t men just define irony at a whole? I’m sure they say the same about women.
In a nutshell, Kat’s tired. Kat’s tired of being pushed around by people you least expect. Tired of having to give more than she can. Tired of being an object of disapproval by the very people whom are just nothing more than rubbish themselves. Who deem themselves superior above the rest. If only they had a mirror to see how ridiculous they look in the throne they’ve built so badly for themselves.
Went through the guestbook a while ago to see if there were any to be put up. There were two. With one impersonating Pikachu by talking gibberish and another hiding behind a defunct superhero’s cape while telling me how I need help. Makes one wonder, doesn’t it cariad? How we fit so painfully perfect up each other’s arse. My writing in his and his in mine. *Gasp* Could I perhaps have found a soul mate? Good to know I’m making someone happy.
Work awaits me.
Nobody does it better
Makes me feel safe for the while
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby you’re the best
I wasn’t looking
But somehow you found me
I tried to hide from your love
I never
The spy who loved me
Is keeping all my secrets safe
tonight
Nobody does it better
Sometimes I wish someone would
Nobody does it
Quite the way you do
Why do you have to be so good?
The way that you hold me
Whenever you hold
Unlocks all the magic inside
Just kiss me honey
So just keep it coming
How’d you learn to do the things
you do?
Nobody does it better
Makes me feel safe for the rest
Nobody does it
Quite the way you do.
Baby, baby
Baby you’re the best.
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