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| More quotes!! |
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| My dogs confuse squirrels with terrorists. � Dude on the radio
Glitter looks good on a man. � Uncle Chris (Powers) You know when you�ve drunk? � Some drunk guy to Eric/Zippy That�s half-assed, it�s not even full-assed. �Eric Did you have fun at Wal-Mart or did you get loose? (Lost!) � Grandma Jessie Don�t make me laugh when I�m over garlic. � Amy Dogs and boys, they�re both idiots. � Mom I get violent when I�m British. � Lindsay Taffy said �cock�! � Lindsay Yes she did! � Amy & KJ simultaneously If you love me as I think you do, let�s kiss and part. � Titus (Anthony Hopkins) If I want fungus, I�ll lick my own toes. � Eathon I�d rather have juice then eggs in my pants. � KJ May your troubles be less, and your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door. � Irish Blessing Sometimes being a maniac has its advantages. � Mom (While driving over the mountain.) Ok, laughing is better than being scared. � Mom (Also while driving over the mountain.) They�re not elves, they�re alcoholic bastards. � Dr. Will I�m a nice guy! � Lindsay (It helps if you know the �Lindsay� tone.) My mouth is always full! Always! � Amy (Gutch�s) I haven�t had any booze in a while and it�s going to my eyeballs. � KJ (Gutch�s) I swear to god I�m gonna cry. � Dr. Will Physics is just common sense obscured by mathematics. � Gavin It�s not lookin� good, I got the hour glass of death right now. � Gavin You can�t form your own country. � Amy Cummins I say that as the sadder, wiser, non-girl that I am. � Dr. Goodlett I have a cousin who�s a sister. � Eric (Not true.) It�s one of those non-Russian, Russian places. � Eric He�s wearing a raincoat, he must be British. � Eric Listening to him talk about the Russians like that, it�s almost like foreplay. � Amy (Not referring to any of the above quotes.) I have verbal charm. � KJ You don�t have to be patient when you�re as big as I am. � Garfield Why is it that as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands? � Ernest Gaines I can be the Romans! � Amy I could do this in a gay bar. � Amy I feel bad�I�m not thoughtful. � Amy A moment is a symbol, not the end of something. � Amy Cummins Thank you, Big Bang. � Amy Cummins Not to spoil it for you but she kills herself in the end. � Amy Cummins We�re not just regular old mammals. � Amy Cummins The heating and cooling police will come and get me in a minute. � Gavin Don�t worry about it dude, I got my torch. � Gavin Go yell at a piano some time. � Gavin My cat makes some very bad choices. � Dr. Will Yeah, from the knee down, I�m hot. � Dr. Will Eugenics: It�s all about making nicer people. � Dr. Will I sponge up the Discovery Channel. � Dr. Will Even prisoners have friends. � Dude in IDS It�s time to win the love of these hateful morons. � C. Montgomery Burns I like leather. I rather fancy myself a black panther. � Freddie Mercury Always a cowboy, never a bride. � Eric? (History Club, not sure who said it first.) I feel like writing a poem about snowmobiles jumping like bunnies. � Eric (Von Zippy) The bird that would soar above the level plain of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings. � The Awakening By the stubbing of my thumbs, something stupid this way comes. � MST3000 It has been a very unstable week for me�I found myself sobbing during an episode of Alf on Monday. � American Psycho (book) Stoned Vikings would like soft things, surely. � KJ Marching guys are hot. � Amy Have you ever smelled a hockey glove? � Jarrod More Neil, more better. � Eric/Zippy (Neil Diamond, that is.) I can slither with the best of them. � Dr. Goodlett Don�t fuck with the opium hut. � Kim You know it�s Monday when you find sharks circling in your water bowl. � Garfield You know it�s Monday when you discover a landmine in your breakfast. � Garfield People are stupid whether it rains or not. � Mom Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. � Deteriorata Don�t interrupt me when I�m talking to myself. - ? The Goddess is alive and she ate my homework. - ? Please don�t squeeze the shaman. - ? Dial down the Amy. � Webpage thingy Listen to Queen, drink some rum and life will be better. � Amy Kathay comes to those who wait. � Webpage thingy Things rarely move uphill spontaneously. � Gavin It�s great fun until you puke. � Gavin I thought it was because of the Russians. � Andrew? Is your name possibly Swahili for Jackass? � Sean, on Jarrod�s Facebook message board It�s not about the bike, it's about the spandex. � Gavin I can�t talk to him, his teeth are in my foot! � KJ I spit on this book. - Amy Cummins What is so funny? - Tanner (to Jordan) ********************************************************************************************* Do not stray from Kathay's directions. - Lindsay I don't DO paper. - Jen Stop calling me pastries. -Angel (TV) I'd make a better impression if I wore Mickey Mouse ears. - KJ It's ok, he's an engineer. - Brent Fries rock. - Brent When you're drinking Irish beer you can't help but have a potato. - Brent That's not a quote, that's just a song. - Ed It is de-sheet of de-bull. - Ed They claim everyone was born, but I don't recall it. Maybe I was having one of my blackouts. - Jim Morrison I should think that a high level of arrogance would be to quote oneself. - KJ Frank: "Nice", I tried that once, I didn't much care for it. Marie: Did the same thing happen with "smart"? -Everybody Loves Raymond That's why I can't work at Walmart, because I'd build forts. - KJ Comedy is tragedy plus time. - Craig Ferguson He's stealing all the pretty. - Lindsay I'm typing like I just fell off London. - KJ Until morale improves, the beatings continue. - ? When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship. - Harry Truman A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves. - Edward R. Murrow We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. - Aesop Always be smarter than the people who hire you. - Lena Horne Unemployment is capitalisms way of getting you to plant a garden. - Orson Scott Card This isn't the entitlement age; if anything it's the overburdened generation. - Eddie O. I love how brilliant we are. - Lindsay To think or reflect is to step aside from events, to give up the world for a space of eternal quiet, as if you have entered a walled garden. - Thomas A. Clark We're actors! We're the opposite of people! - The Player (Rosencrantz & Gildenstern Are Dead) My palette was so excited I just burnt my fingers. - Grandpa Tom It's hot, dark and sweaty and it gives me a headache. - Christian Bale describing the Bat-suit. You're like Lead Master of the History Club. - Audra Sometimes you're a geek....like a dork. - Audra Crickets can be your friends, they eat their feet. - Audra KJ: Well at least they're cute. Audra: The crickets? KJ: No, my feet. You can't plan comedy like that. - KJ You're just THAT brilliant -slash- lucky. - Lindsay If everyone fried their food there would be no war. - Bill D. (King of the Hill) I believe you are not what you have been but the possability of what you could be. - Oprah Nooo!! That's too far even for the Swiffer! - Lindsay I'm single because I was born that way. - Mae West I'm random on a regular basis. - KJ Ok, I'm falling apart like an old person. - Kim Maybe we're jocks or something. Does this make us jocks? - Lindsay Note: Here we come to 4 or 5 pages of drunken writing of an obscene manner. I'll just give you the quotes. My fingers look so far away. - Amy Gato! She's crouching on the straw. - Taffy (aka. KJ) Red/Amy: What's going on in the movie? Taffy/KJ: They're having a war. Red/Amy: Oh really? My finger looks really short. - Amy Clearly I'm offensive. - KJ Dude, cat is still playing with the fucking straw! - Lindsay You have to spank her! - Lindsay The supplicating suitor is a powerless wretch. - I can't remember. Out of darkness comes enlightenment. - ? We're a special kind of dirty. - Lindsay I sounds like I said we're not tall enough. - Dr. Goodlett This is all historical so even if it's irrelevent, it's fun. - Dr. Goodlett A life of self delusion can be a happy one. - Dr. Goodlett To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure. - Dumbledore Humans have a knack for choosing precisely the things that are worst for them. - Dumbledore It is the unknown that we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more. - Dumbledore I'm gonna have to start doing things backwards sometimes. - Dr. Goodlett Have you ever thought about your own thoughts? - Dr. Goodlett One pampers Ishtar or one suffers. - Dr. Goodlett Are the horsemen coming? - Dude in Methods class. All these jobs are racist against people who don't have skills. - Luann (King of the Hill) Some people are like Slinkys. They aren't really good for anything but they're fun to push down the stairs. - ? Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. - ? Would you say these bubbles indicate doneness? - Lindsay Degrees in disappointment come free of charge when we find ourselves within the halls of expectation. - JC Prepare your gob to be smacked. - Zen |