-Like cars- but only imports
-Wear cool socks
-Influence small-minded people into wanting to be you.
-Make people call you "Master"
-Lean
-Be able to fall asleep standing up.
-Drive the sweetest car in the friggin world. (The red one of course! I guess the black one is a'ight too.)
-Be funny, but not when more than 1 or 2 people are around. Remain silent if more than 2 people are nearby.
-Help pathetic girls pick up things they drop.
-Act like gving hugs is a punishment worse than death.
-Have companies based 5000 miles away screw you over- multiple times.
-Be thin with a sexy body, but claim you're too skinny in order to recieve compliments.
-Remin cool even when tripping (Jog, look back accusingly at whatever made you trip.)
-Have machmakers try & hook you up without the prior knowledge of either person. (Hey, Brandon tried, Justin!)
-Have every song you hear be your "jam."
-Strut.
-Blush easily whenever you recieve compliments.
-Mock people with inferior cars, merely to help of course.
-Tap on things endlessly.
-Overuse the phrases "Damn" and "A'ight"
-Be in a "crew" without your knowledge.
-Don't give anyone your phone number. If they want it bad enough they will pay for it.
-Refuse backrubs even though you are in pain. No one else is cool enough to touch you anyways.
-Misquote songs. (It's the "hey, hey song!")
-Say "I don't know" with a long annoyed sigh in response to any question asked of you.
-Lean a cool trick so you can join the "Meeting of the Minds."
-"Burn 'em!"
-Act as though any compliments you recieve are not genuine when they very much so are!
-Humor people you don't like an pretend you're their "boy."
-Be lazy as hell, other people will do all your work for you if you're cool enough.
-Be moody so that no one ever knows how to react to you.
-Talk only about superficial things (cars, people you dislike, etc.) and avoid anything with true meaning (life goals, family situations, emotions, etc.)unless dragged out of you.
-Stay at a job where you hate it and everyone there. Become a Konica Lifer!
-Pretend that you don't like the new chick at work but stare at her and obsess over her endlessly. (Well, yeah, no shit I'm jealous!)
-Be unable to comprehend how it's possible that not every girl adores you.
I love you, Justin, hon! We all know that you are cool as hell!