(In no real particular order...)
David- My boy. Sweet as hell when you want to be. Four years together. Those of you who have known me a while prolly find that impossible to believe. It's been hard at times, great at others. Love this boy with all my heart though, despite how it sometimes might look. We've had such an amazing life together. I hope you know how much I love you! Maybe some things are just meant to be. I love you, Dave. Thanks for being exactly who you are. And thanks for loving me like you do.
Shelley- Girl you know you're my best friend and I love you more than naked jello wrestling. I feel blessed everyday to have met you. We've shared everything in these past 5 years. I know I'll never find anyone else like you. And thanks be to God for that! Couldn't handle two of you! Neurotic lil thing you are! Kidding sweetie! (Although you *are* a *bit* neurotic! Thanks for the therapy and for saving my life multiple times. You are amazing, babe, I love you to death! I hope you know how proud of you I am. You've come so far, sweetheart. You are who I want to be when I grow up.
Katie- Sweetie I love you. You are so wonderful. Someday you'll see what the rest of us see in you. You make me laugh all the time. I know you'll make all your dreams come true. You are a great friend and I'm so lucky to have met you, girlie. You make me feel so comfortable. It's amazing sometimes to realize that I haven't even known you that long and yet you've become so dear to me. Thanks for putting up with my bitching and moaning. And thanks for listening to me as I ramble on about "him" while you humor me!
Nick- Kid, you suck! I hate you so much! You are such an ass! Which is the main reason I love ya so much. You put me in my place. Thanks for the long hours playing pool and drinking. Thanks for the way you make me feel beautiful even though I will never believe you. Thanks for the hugs and the back massages. Thanks for everything. Thanks for just being my Nicky.
Sam- Friggin A dude, you missed your chance but NOW you want me! How many years did I tell you how much I wanted to be with you. But I was "just a friend" back then. Sorry, kid, you missed your chance! Ah how sweet it is! I love you, Sammy boy! You still hold a piece of my heart and you always will. I'm proud of who you've become and how you are striving to become even better.
Ross- My kid brother, even though you've got 6 months on me. You are a great guy who will one day realize all the power he can have. Just lose the guns and the alcohol and I'll sleep a bit better. You deserve better than you get and have gotten in the past. Strive for more, Ro, and you'll get it. I'll always be there to pick you back up when you fall, sweetie.
Greg (Geg)- You have talents that you know about and talents that lay hidden. Kid, get off your ass and show this friggin world who you are. You have a heart of gold and I wish you'd let more people see it. I wish you all the luck in the world, boy, I know you can do it.
Audrey- Sweet child, you have the biggest heart and you are so beautiful. One day you will see this in yourself as well and see just how much you kick ass. Til then I'll be here to remind you of it every chance I get. And when you finally realize it, I'll be there to make sure your head doesn't get too big! Girl, you so rock! Supercoolassmonkey!
Jon T- Kiddo, I love you like a brother. Like a brother I'd like to have sex with, but still like a brother. Remember all rad times we've had. Remember NYC nights and downtown days. Remember I still have nude photos of you, and damn boy you lookin so good! If you ever wanna have that threesome, Dave and I are up for it! I hope you know I'm always here for you, cutie, forever boy.
Justin- Shit, cutie, I love you and respect you so much. You are a beautiful, hon, both inside and out. You are funny, smart, sweet and sexy as all hell! You make me laugh, but you also frustrate the hell out of me! It's a'ight, I love you for it anyway. I truly hope you never let you dreams die. You can go so far, babe, you've got the world in your hand, just figure out what it is you want to do. I know you're gonna be great someday, you'll have the Skyline, happiness and all you could ever desire. Never let your passion die, kid, it is an amazing gift you've got. Just remember that back in the day there was this a'ight chick who thought the world of you. And thanks for the hugs, the laughs, and letting me get to know what a friggin great guy that you are! (And I will keep my promise to buy you that Skyline when I'm rich, babe! What color do you want?)
Tommy- Man, you make me feel so beautiful. I love you, sweetie. You know all the right things to say. You are great daddy to a perfect little angel. I know that one day everything in your life will fall into place and you will finally be able to achieve true happiness. I will always love you and be here for you for whatever you need. (Except sex, hon, you can keep asking and pleading all you want, it a'int gonna happen darlin' as much as I love you!)
Jason- I'm so glad you're back in my life. It's hard to imagine that I've known you since I was an awkward lil 11 year old. It's even harder to believe I let you get away from me for so long! Not again, Jay, you're back and I'm not about to lose you again. I still love you, boy. Thanks for making me feel good about myself back in school and thanks for calling me "Sexy" all the time.
Chuckie- I miss you. I don't know what else to tell you. I'm sorry for hurting you, I didn't know that you felt that way. I miss you so much and wish you were here with me. I wish I had told you before that it was the same for me. But now I guess it's too late. We've grown up and maybe we've both changed too much. I wish I had another chance. I wish we had given us a better chance back then.
Arius- You are so da man! I've known you longer than I've known Dave. I still remember all those nights at Mitchell's house and the nights spent in the "crack room" with you. But not under the same blanket- God forbid we accidentally touch in our sleep. Ha! You were afraid of Dave, makes me laugh. Arius, you are great. I love talking to you. One day you're going to figure out what the frig you're supposed to be doing with your life. When you do, holy poop on a stick, you're going to rule the damn world, boy! All I ask is that you give me Finland to rule. It seems like a good country to have control of.
Sean- You and I were so close and I don't know what happened. I know you say you changed and don't want to hurt me. But, kid, I'll love you forever. You could never become someone I hated 'cos I know you well enough to know that you have a heart of gold. I wish we were still in the summer of '99. That summer was ours for the taking and we had a blast.
John G- You are the mack daddy! If only the girlies knew it, eh? Then maybe simply giving me a hug and feeling my boobies against your chest wouldn't give you a hard on! But it's all good, lil self-esteem boost for me! But you rock, John, in all you conceded, self-centered John way, you are the shit! I know you're gonna be amazing, just stop telling everyone how great you already are and maybe they'll see it too!
Derek- Shit, boy, you are frigged in the head. For that I adore you and respect you. You make me smile just remembering all the shit we pulled back in the day! It was fun, kid, we'll do it again someday. We'll finally show everyone that God lives in the Boston Aquarium, you can read minds if you eat enough pizza, and Mike was wrong about the shoes! Til then, peace, brotha, one foe da boyz back in da hood!
Phil- Rock, dude, my lil kid brother! I miss you sweet angel. We were all each other had for a while and it was enough. Not a day would pass that we weren't together and now it's been far to long since I've held my lil brother in my arms. I miss being called "Sis" and having some punk ass kid treat me like I am the best thing in the world. I love you, Phil, you have my heart always and I know I'll see you again.
Aaron R- You still owe me a night at the Motel 6, baby! Sorry I never followed up on my half of the bargain! Thanks for being you, for the hugs, the encouragement and the adoration. You made me feel like a queen, boy! I miss the late nights in the park with you, talking about nothing and everything and having it somehow all make sense in the dawn. You are so talented and brilliant and I am so proud of who you are and who you will become. You are also the sexiest guy I have ever been fortunate enough to know. God damn, and I had your heart? Yeah, tell me that a lil to late, boy, thanks!
Mary- You were my saving grace without even knowing it. Quite a few years between us but you were just like my big sister. You were so good to me, supportive and kind as can be. I miss you, Mother Mary, and the laughs we managed through our tears. Thanks for my 21st and for always being able to make me see the good that would come to me. I'm still waiting for some of it but I know it will be here someday.
Jeremy- If you hadn't been so nice and so good things would've been different. If it had been a different time, a different situation maybe it would've been better. But there's "the dude" in the picture and I love him. I cared for you dearly, but it wasn't meant to be. You changed me though, in those months I knew you. You made me think I was deserving of love and affection. You made me realize who I can become. I can never thank you enough, I wouldn't know where to begin. But, I love you, hon, and thanks for the breakfasts and the long talks and the DM CD. I love you and wish you well.
Dan C- I'm sorry, sweet boy, I never meant to hurt you. Things were more complicated than you ever knew. I know I led you on, I know it was my fault. But I needed that then. I needed to hear how you thought of me. Things were not as cut and dry as they appeared to be. It was my fault and I take all the blame. You are an amazing guy who deserves all things good in this world. I hope you someday see that and strive for better.
Sukie- Together we cried and together that was okay. NYC was a blast and late night talks in the church were just what I needed. Thanks for the 'Spice Girls' and for seeing in me all that I couldn't see then. Thanks for holding me tight when I couldn't stand. Thanks for making me realize I wasn't alone. I will see you again someday, you are more wonderful than you know.
Shane- I love you boy, you changed my world. You have always been there for me. From holding me up during my talk and wiping away my tears, to Udder Place meetings and long talks over a pack of butts, you are a savior and I will someday be able to repay you for all that you blessed me with. I know you will go so far if you get your ass in gear, I am proud of you, kid, so damn proud of who you are!
Kris- Damn bitch, you don't even know what the frig is up! You be all thinking I don't give a shit, frig that, woman, that is so frigged up! Girl, you are a laugh. I have never known anyone who is so happy and sweet. You are beautiful and sweet and funny. I love you girl and miss you a great deal. Someday we will take over the world. I say we start with North Dakota! For we all know it doesn't even exist.
Josh- I wanted to tell you time and time again how beautiful you are but you cut me off each time. I don't know why you wouldn't listen to me, why those words always seemed to hurt you. But Josh, you are beautiful and smart and funny and so sweet. I am so happy you are where you wanted to be in life. I am so proud of your many accomplishments.
Travis- You showed me the world and how to take it over. Well some day I'll remember those plans made that drunken night and take the whole damn thing under my control. If only it had been a few months later then we could've been something more. But in the time spent under the trees in oblivion I learned more about how to be real than I'd ever learned before. Some day things will be good for you, and some day you'll allow good to happen. I want you to know how much I appreciate all you did for me, and all you tried to do but could not. Thank you, I am forever in your debt.
Nate A- You and me and the Kama Sutra baby! Middle of the park while the whole place watched. Perhaps the results would've been better had we read the part where we're supposed to get naked. Friggin A we always forgot to read the whole thing! But you are amazing boy, a true God among men. You gave the best hugs and kisses and made me feel so good. Thanks for the lessons learned and the lessons you will teach me again some day.
Simon- I never told you I loved you. I was too shy and so were you. Stupid ocean between us causing all these problems. I wish I had said something sooner, when things could've been different. But in those weeks you made me see what I wanted in men and in life. You made me see that I was worthy of the love of another. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. And if I see you again, I won't hesitate this time. I love you and still think of you often, even these many years later.
Tom- Some nights were long and others we barely had time to speak. In those rushed moments you alwys took the time to say you loved me, before I passed out. And I knew in the mornings I'd find you by my side, making sure I was still okay. You made me into a princess and you were my loving prince. If only you'd liked girls you and I could've been great. Damn genetics, sweet boy, blame it on them.
Miles- Every morning that I see the sun rise above the trees I think of you and I smile. Our sun always rose and never set. You taught me of butterflies and colors and how to use chopsticks correctly. You taught me of love and forgiveness, of how change is okay, and time makes things hurt less. You told me how it's okay to be scared and how one day I'll be safe. I'm safe now, sweet Miles, and now you can rest.
Gia- My darling big sister, my savior and who I can only dream of living up to. You took me in when I needed it, no questions asked. You brought me into your perfect world and showed me that I could have the same thing someday. I learned more from the time spent with you, Greg, and the lil ones than I'd learned up to that point in my life. Thanks for everything. I owe you more than I can ever repay (including the cash, but I know you've long since given up on that one!) I can only hope to make you proud of me someday. I'm working on it, G, I'll call you when I'm good enough..... it might not be for a while.
Lee- Oh, you sexy thing! I still get a kick out of how much you thought I wanted you. C'mon, I've got standards, boy! I remember all the nights spent down at the rocks, even though I doubt you remember a single one, damn alcoholic you are! You and I had a time, eh, boy? Thanks for being a shoulder to cry on, even though I never shed a tear when we were together it was always good to know it was an option. Thanks, kid, I'll see you when the you finally get away from the wench.
Nate Am- You were a laugh, boy. Long midnight drives that led no where. Comfortable silences and random bouts of laughter. I still miss the phone ringing late at night, picking up and hearing "I'm out front, Cornflake, let's go for a ride." I'd call you up but I haven't had the time and with life the way it is, those late night rides would seem wrong. Even though nothing ever happened, we know what they all thought then and what they'd think now. But thanks for the laughs, kid, you're a doll.
Julie- My sweet lil English chica! I miss you and think of you often. We had laughs those summer, traveling from one country to the next. We were so young then. Now you've got a husband and two beautiful little children. Times have changed, darlin', but I'll always be around. Just remember days in Bath with the boys, pub crawling in Warminster when we were way too young to be in them, our many boys (what were we thinking with half of them.... Stuart?! My God, mistake number one? How is he anyway?), and the friendship that we managed across the ocean. You'll always be my girl!
Jake- Long ago we learned that together we somehow made sense. Even if it was only to each other. You made me feel sane when the world was crashing in. I thank you for your kindness, your love and the time you held my hair back as I puked. (Esp. the hair part, that would've sucked!) I still can't figure out where things got so complicated. I wish you wouldn't blame Dave, but I can understand it. Just know that for the most part I'm happy now, and I owe so much of that to you, Jake. Thanks.
Tyler- "You love saving the world too much. But you can't save everyone, y'know? You aren't Superman, Katey. Although I wouldn't mind seeing you in the spandex outfit." Shut up, Ty! Besides I still say I can save the world if I try hard enough. But thanks for the advice, my sweet "big brother" you always knew what I needed to hear. And you never told me what I merely wanted to hear. You gave it to me straight, kid, and for that I'm grateful.
Joe- Thanks for the long walks, the target practice and the fashion advice. Sorry, I still can't manage that girlie look you thought would be "to die for" on me. I'm a boy, remember!? You have always been a great friend to me, I wish I didn't take it for granted sometimes. I'm sorry I haven't returned your calls, but you know how I am about that. I'll get around to it someday.... eventually.
Rob M- You shouldn't have told me that! How the frig am I supposed to respond to a statement like that? I guess I'll just agree and say someday maybe if things change, sure. Thanks for all you've given me, you are a sweetheart, kid. I owe you one. And thanks for all the punk shows and backstage access. You rock, babe!
Mom & Dad- I love you both so dearly. You made me who I am today. (Except for the bad parts, those are my fault!) Thank you for never giving up on me even when I was that evil teenager who ruined everything. Thanks for always telling me what a great kid I was, even when you thought I was a fuck up. (Sorry mom, I'm trying to swear less.... doesn't always work.) Thanks for the support in everything I do, and the encouragement that I can do better. I know that I made everything so hard on you both for so long. I know I made you cry when I hurt you and hurt myself. I hope so much that I am as good at being a parent as you two are. I hope I have an easier kid to deal with than myself! You guys are the greatest and I truly am blessed to be your kid. Mom, thanks for the long talks and the advice that you give only when I ask for it and for saying nothing when I don't. Dad- thanks for the hugs and the protective daddy stuff you do. I love you both!
There are others who I should say thank to, others who have blessed my life. I always forget to tell them what they mean to me when I have the chance. I'm sorry for that, I'm trying to be better. I hope you all know that I love you and am thankful for you all.
I wish you all peace, love, and eternal happiness.