whats up?
how is it friday tomorrow? this is the last week of break, i dont want the week to b over yet!!! man... i'll cry when i hav to go back to school... seriously thats how much i hate neuqua. i actually used to LUV school! now... yeah haha. winter formal's tomorrow... i wish i could go... everyone's looking forward to it so much. everyone i've talked to today was like winter formal's tomorrow!!! man when i was shopping i saw like the dresses and i was thinking i should b shopping for a dress for WF, but instead, i'm here... so sad. i know exactly who i'd hav asked too... dang...
so i dunno... i've been feeling kinda... not rite lately. like i know i dont fit in here... it's been getting better but it's still not like... u know? like a couple ppl from church and school talk to me and stuff, but i dont feel like a single person in this whole state knows who i really am... then i think about everyone back home... and i feel like i dont belong there either. it seems like everyone's moved on w/out much trouble... almost like their lives r better w/out me there... not that they did that on purpose, but that it just happened like that... grr mom needs phone... laterz
whats up guys?
today's just kinda sucky... in 6 mins, winter formal starts... and i'm not there. instead, someone else is w/ andy, all my friends r having a blast probably (i think every single one of them got dates this year... and i'm sitting here like a loser haha) and yeah. i was at the mall today and i saw the dresses... i should hav been like primping and freaking out about how i look tonite, feeling like a princess (lol ya rite) in a beautiful dress... yeah not even close to what i'm doing now... but hav fun u guys! take lots of pics, send me some, and call me this weekend and tell me every single detail (esp u, jenny!)
anyways, thought i'd go to church tonite, hang out w/ the few friends i hav... get my mind off of not being at WF... of course, my mom gets all pissy and she decides i cant go. whatever man... like i'm gonna do anything productive here? please...
back to what i was writing last nite... feel so.... alone... dont quite fit anywhere anymore... dang... how'd things get so messed up? u know, my life was like awesome for a lil while there... but then i moved and all of a sudden it was like i had woken up from a dream and it was all gone. i dunno... its not like i mope around all the time or anything, sometimes i get to get out and hav some fun... but its not the same
hey~
blah i hate school! yeah like we had a math test today that i only found out about yesterday. plus like we've had so much eng and span crap piled on us in just 2 days... stupid! this morning i had to go to school at 6:30 for solo & ensemble mtg!!! too frickin early for me. then i had to stay til 4:05 for voice lessons. grrr too much neuqua for one day. but i dunno... maybe it hasnt been as bad as i had thought. been hanging out w/ like ana and jessica and ppl. still pisses me off that i dont hav any guy friends ~ what can i say, i need my guys! haha. and i just realized now talkin to jenny that i seriously rn't a part of ames anymore... sux big time. i'll keep this real short cuz i'm tired! off to contemplate life...
blah~
wow so nice havin a day off. i like sat around and watched tv all day, it was awesome. but then my mom started pissing me off again. my goodness can she not get a life of her own? and she's so full of bs its way past the point of being amusing... i hate ppl like that. honestly... but yeah, just talked to jz and sorta to kathy... i luv my friends! they make me feel *luved* awww... haha. awesome news of the day: band tour's coming to chicago!!!!!!! i am so finding a way to go meet up w/ them... like a ton of the ppl i need to see r in band! like ummm *cough*andy*cough* hehehe. tomorrow's praise nite, i'm excited for it! lets just hope my mom duznt find a way to ruin this for me too... blah. i need a like revival of faith for me i think. this is good timing for the praise nite!
