 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
| What if I'm not as pretty as she is...What if I did something wrong...What if they don't REALLY like me...? We all have a little voice in the back of our minds that seems little. It makes us think things like, "I'm not good enough for this" and "I must be letting everyone down"...but that voice grows...it becomes larger as the days go by...with every moment one more question comes to mind and drives us to the end. It hounds us until we think of nothing else...but what if....what if we didn't listen to it ever again..... |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
| If your name's krista click this--> |
| Have you ever been so happy you could cry? I never had been...until now. I never thought that I haf good friends, I never thought I had a good life, I never thought I could belive in anything or welcome anything besides death the way I used to. But after explaining what a true friend i, "It's that person you just seemed to click with, the one who most of the time knows what you're going through, but when they don't know, they still listen. The person you can talk to about anything and can always trust with your darkest secrets. They don't exist for everyone, but thank God, I've got a whole group of them..." I realized that I do have something to belive in. That's why this is the day I will never forget. |
| alright-there's a bunch of hidden images on some of the pages...maybe all of them.....that lead to some random thing. Just stupid but funny stuff like evil santa or my diary on bolt and stuff. riiight....well...have fun finding them...some are harder than others! After a while I'll put a hidden link on this page that'll tell you where everything is-but for now you really actually have to find them all. good luck-some are harder than others! |
| I don't get it...how can your best friend who has always told you everything...no matter how good or how bad ...all of a sudden not tell you who she's dating? She didn't tell me-I found out from someone else (weho's name will not be mentioned) then when I asked her about him...she just denied the whole thing. The not telling me, the fact that she's dating him and has been for a week, then she started with the excusses n' stuff. So first she denied it then she told me why she didn't tell me. But she's been being really weird lately. She used to pass note back and forth in english with me...I haven't gotten a note from her since. She used to wait for me to get my stuff together after class and we'd walk to our next class together talking to everyone else on the way...lately she's just run off without me. It's really starting to get to me. I don't get it. worst part is...if she is mad at me or something...or just avoiding me at the moment...I'm bunking with her in london next month. I hope things are back to normal by then. |
|
|
|
| SIGN MY GUEST BOOK!!! |
| God, Ihate some people. For those of you who don't know me...I live in a small town on the south shore of mass...it's almost all white irish town (meaning we all go get drunk St. Patricks day j/k) but really, we're all pretty much good people...kinda...but I don't think I know one racist person in this town. We've got metco kids coming to our schools from boston and we get along great with them. I also go to this small church, we have a lot of them here. I love it, I teach 2 sundayschool classes, I'm the youngest person on diaconate, I do the acolyte every morning, I'm there from like 8:45 AM till at least noon. So I'm sure you can imagine how upset people were when we sat down in church today (Martin Luther King Jr Sunday) to hear another white woman preach to us about how because we are white, we are rasist. " Oh, but it's not your fault," she says, "you were brought up that way. "But don't blame it on your parents either, they were brought up that way too." So this woman, she sits in front of a congregation of people who are the least racist people you'll ever find and tells us that we ARE racist, why? b/c we're white. She tells us we were brought up racist (which none of us were) b/c why? we're white. By now I'm struggling not to stand up and leave. What this woman said was the most offencive thing I have EVER heard in my entire life. She says it like "african americans" were the only people ever to be picked out of their crowd for their background. The irish came over on their ships and were told not to bother trying to get a job...the italians were told the same thing. I am both. No matter who you are someone's going to be racist against you. But for this woman to come to a small, irish/itallian (mostly irish) congregation and say to our face that WE (being white) are racist against THEM (being blacks) b/c we're white and they're black and that's how we were brought up...that was just a kick in that ass. |
|
| I'm not always cynical...only when you read this. I use this page as an outlet...if I've run out of glue and can't do my artsy stuff. So I come on here and bitch b/c I'm pissed...I don't normally work on my page for the hell of it...today is a different day. Actually today was a bad day too...I had to go to the dentist and they put a ton of novicane in my upper lig so I couldn't smile on one side. everytime someone made me laugh (yes...I laugh...amazing, huh?) I'd look funny so I'd laugh more. everyone made fun of me all day. then in psych we watched a depressing movie...about depression...go figure...but it brought back a lot of old memories and I almost cried...oh well. just another day! |
| NOTE: NEVER PISS OFF YOUR MAID! One of the stupidest things a person could do while on vacation is piss off their maid. You go away and have fun and all...but you don't realize your maid knows so much about you that you would \never want anyone else to know. The way you keep up your room, the food in your fridge, stains left on your bed, cloths in the closet...it all says a lot about you. But then when you've been there for a week...or even a couple of days...and you don't leave a tip...or you just leave a HUGE mess...it pisses us off. I don't mean like a $40 tip for a 2 night stay...even a mere $5 would cheer us up. But stingy people suck! So we go in your room to clean the last night, we see oin the list that Mr. M and Mrs. B (obviously not married) are staying in a room together. They leave a bunch of stains on the bed. Do a little research on the guy, call his house (we do have numbers) and ask for Mrs. M..."yes, Mrs. M, our housekeeping at _____ Hotel has found a lot of very large stains on the bed you stayed in and they can not be removed. We have to send you a bill for the bed." Sorry Mr. M!! you pissed off your maid! good job! can you say DIVORCE!? Now I, personally, would not do that...but there are other ways to piss off your maid while you're still there...so be careful, if you don't want to be clean...leave a good tip...while you're staying there,...realize you're a guest and be polite...and don't worry...we don't bite! |
| alright, some people have been asking for me to talk about myself (good things) without being cynical...well...here it goes... I'm 16, I live in mass. I go to this crappy school...never mind...hmmm...good thoughts...optomistic....well...I'm in a photography class, I'm in advanced. I take a lot of pics and they give us some really good projects...wish they would have done it last year...that class pissed me off...never mind... ooh!! ooh!! I know! My charity work! Well, I'm helping at church from 8:30 am (on sundays) till 1:15PM. I'm on the diaconate (I'm the youngest member ever in the history of the church) I'll be minister for the day and do the sermon or readings or comunion...I'll take collection. I teach first grade sunday school every week. I love the kids. I just went for a 6.5 mile walk for church in Quincy and came in 27 out of 200 even though I have a hole in my knee and I'm literally allergic to exercise. I'm doing a HUGE project, ASP, we work all year fund raising and stuff. Then from June 23-july1 we go to either Virginia, West virginia, Kuntucky, or Tennesee (we don't find out where exactly till the day we leave) and we help build someone's house. We get bussed there all the way on a school bus and sleep on a school floor...but that doesn't bother me...besides getting car (or bus) sick. As far as charity goes...I hate JUST giving money...it doesn't always go to the cause...so I try to challenge myself to do as much as I can to help SOMEONE. Closer to home I help my neighbor, Edith, she's like a grandmother to me. So I guess the most posative thing about me is that I care more about other people (as much as I hate some of them) than I care about myself. So there you go...becca being as non-cynical as possable! |
| Last updated: July 8, 2001 |
|
| A friend of mine seems to be obsessed with EZ-Cheese...I, on the other hand, refuse to touch the stuff...even though I live off cheese...but I like the real stuff. so one day...or night rathat...we were out side and he decided (why, we still don't know) to write on the street with it. Everywhere he goes he writes "I was not here" My mum is sick of finding it on our white board... Well, he's writing "I was not here" and turns out they ate so much of it that he ran out so it said "I was her" But the best part... the street still said "I was her" 5 months later...went through horible storms (we got flooded 5 times in 2 weeks) and it was still there. So if it does that to the street...imagine what it does to your stomach when you eat it |
|
|
|
|
 |
| okay, people suck. I am so sick of putting up with these people in my school. the administration is bad enough as it is...but the kids...my god. These kids, just like me, have had EVERYTHING handed to them. But there's nothing wrong with that...unless of course you don't realize that everything is handed to you. These kids don't realize it...at all. We talk about different problems with the world but they live such sheltered lives and don't see what's really going on. they come up with these really stupid solutions...but when told that wouldn't work and why they fight it.,..as if they knew what they were talking about. But then when given 5 minutes of work, they give the teacher a hard time. .I don't know...it would just be nice to take alll the kids in all my classes and put them on a bus and drive them to west roxbury and just drop them off there and see how long they last. That would be great...they wouldn't last more than 2 minutes. Of course I'd have to take away all their money, cell phones, beepers, and anything else that could help them. |
| what's up with all these dumb shits with their cell phones and beepers. I mean, I understand that some people need them. Like my dad, he has a cell phone glued to his head...but it's for work. Anyone who drives should have a cell phone incase they get in an accident or need help. But little frosh who walk to shool b/c they live behind the feild do not need cell phones. And how bout the state law that forbids the use of cell phones and beepers on school grounds? I think it's reasonable...if only they would enforce it. You hear them going off constantly durring class. It's rude...the kids sit there and talk to their boyfriends half of the class period. Would it really hurt that much to just turn it the hell off? If you can't turn it off for the day, at least do us the HUGE favor (note the sarcasm in my voiuce) during tests. It's just pathetic. |
| I hate rude people. This little frosh, last year, I wish her dead. And I don't do that to anyone...I only wish everyone else to much pain...anyways.... We have this huge group (at least we USED to) who walked home after school. Then Keegan got lazy. At first he used his dislocated shoulder as an excuse to not walk home. But later he just got lazy. So he had room in his car for one other person. There were a bunch of us. Me, aaron, chris, jared, deedrah. Deedrah lives right behind the track at the school. Then chrsi and arron ar a little further away, then me, then jared. Only jared was hobbling that whole week. his mom can;'t pick him up b/c she works. so he was on crutches (poor gimpy) and couldn't walk. So who takes the ride? deedrah. what a little bitch. but the worst part about this girl isn't that she's rude...or even that she talks shit about people behind their backjs (being very hypocritical at that) or even that she gets all over other peoples boyfriends....oh no...the worst part about this little bitch is that she gets away with it all. Every girl sees right through her, don't get me wrong. But all the guys think she's the cutest little frosh...she's so nice and oh so sweet...it's not even like she's attractive in any way. She wears cloths like you would wear in 2nd or 3rd grade when your mom still dressed yu in those pink sweaters with stuff on it....flowers and such. She's got horses and ponies, she has bunnies...she's always pink. She looks like shes 5...she acts like it too....only bitch and evil..... |
| I just had the best night. I always love being with joe...but tonight...we were at my house...with all of my family. Only...for the most part...they left us alone. This is the first week we've had really nice weather all year. The little wind that there was was hot. So while everyone was inside, Joe and I sat on the back deck, me in his arms, looking at the moon and the stars and sneaking in a quick kiss or two every now and then. Then we were sitting in two chairs, face to face, and the dog was on his lap...but he's just so adorable with ginger...looking at him I wanted to cry. I see how lucky I am to have him...even if he is leaving soon....but he'll be back. I know he will. I really love him. And this time it's not me being depressed and lonely making myself think I love him...no...this is real. I love him more than anyone who has ever been in my life before...ever. When I'm with him all my problems just melt away...well...tomorrow we're going out to dinner...then walking on the beach...I just can't wait to be in his arms. |
| Alright guys, I still don't understand something...why the hell can none of you either pee IN the toilet rather than on it...and why can't you flush!? It can't be that hard! For one thing, everyone has to flush the toilet so you have no excusse there. But for another thing, you say it's hard to aim, blah blah blah...but aim is something you get with practice...comon...even if you're only 15...that's 15 WHOLE years of practice. You must pee at least 2 times a day...at least. I mean, that's a lot of practice...but yet these otehr guys who have had 50 some odd years of practice...and they still can't aim! how is that possable?? but even if you can't quite aim...even then...don't you use toilet paper?? Is it really THAT hard to clean off the seat? slobs. |
| I hate my job. I have a bunch of them...but my main job...I really hate it. My boss for one thing is a major hypocrite. She got dowm on her hands in knees to show me how to scrub the floor...that's never good...she's a pretty big woman...when she bends over she just spreads out...YUCK! so she's sitting there dunking the rag in the toilet telling me I need to use more water. So when she's done, she gets up, and says, "alright, that's done, it's really wet now, but just let it dry." So today she was yelling at me to use more water. So I did. and JUST like she did, I left it to dry. She comes running after me saying "The floor is soaked and I need to dry it off" but she JUST told me to let it dry itself. Then she yells at me all the time for crap I didn't do/ Someone will get away with something all day and cut corners and be lazy...but then I miss one thing and she yells and yells and yells. Then there's the newbies...I hate them sooo much. |
| I just don't understand guys...now I have a boyfriend who I love with all of my heart. He's going away to college soon...**sniffle sniffle** I'm gonna miss him so much. But as for other guys...I just don't get them. It seems that the more you humiliate then, the more you beat on them, and the more you insunt their intelligence...the more they want you...how does that work? I can understand the stuff with guys wanting the unavalable...everyone wants what they can't have...but why would you want this? Someone's constantly beating you up and telling you how stupid you are...but you want this (?) am I the only on who doesn't understand that? I dunno guys... |
| I don't know what's wrong with me lately...it's like all of a sudden, for no reason at all, all my depression stuff is just coming back. It used to be really bad...I cut and picked a lot...but then it got better. I forced myself to be better. I stopped cutting/picking for long periods of time...I wasn't so depressed anymore...now and then I'd feel lonely...but besides that I was perfectly fine as long as I kept buisy. But now, all of a sudden, I have no desire to move...no desire to do anything at all. I'll come online in hope that someone will uphold a really good convorsation with me and make me feel wanted....but no on IMs me...then when they do I don't feel like talking...just don't want to. I can't even be bothered with homework...even though I have a 6 page essay (final essay) due next friday and a HUGE group project due soon. I have no intrest in doing my cutouts which so often took up my free time so I wouldn't feel all lonely. I hope for someone to call me figuring it'll make me feel better...I'll feel wanted...but no one calls. So I call....but I feel like I"m just bothering people. I'm in a play that's coming up...but I don't feel like being in it anymore. My birthday is coming up soon...so is the last day of school...that means dead lines. Joe's leaving in a couple months...everything's going so fast...but everything's going so slowly. The only things I want I can't have...I just sit at home all day unless I'm with joe (in which case I'm much better) but I just sit here. if daddy's not on the computer I am...but it gets boring...nothing new to do, just the old rutine....no one new to talk to....well...no one interesting enough. I want to do something...but I just sit around...can't be motivated to move....just depressed....again....why? why can't I just be happy becca...that's all I really want...just want to be truly happy. But the only time I"m happy is when I'm helping someone in need...or when I'm ith joe. Joe's leaving....and there aren't so many people to help now... Just me...and I don't want help...people try to "help" me....but I don't want it. I just want to be happy....that's all..... |
|
|
|
 |
 |
| ********Dream Book******** |
| ********Dream Book******** |
|
| The story of becca and joe... we dated in my frosh year, but joe broke up with me for one of my best friends (who happens to be a little slut). Nothing ever happened with them. Joe figured that I would never want to have anything to do with him b/c of what he did to me... my junior year (his senior) we finally get back together and fall compleatly in love with one another. now he's going away and I won't see him until christmas. it's july 10th, joe is leaving august 9th. I've known tht joe was leaving soon...i've known that for a while. I've cried over it all the time...only now I realize just how soon that is...now we're both crying. I'm going to miss my baby so much. we can't stand to be apart, when one of us is away, we're both miserable. We have to at least talk every day/night. So when he goes away (and he's going to florida) I don't know what we'll do. It's going to be so hard. but we both know that he'll be back...and I know that if this is ment to be, it will be...I sure hope so. |
|
| today was an exciting day. I went to get construction paper, but not only did I get that, but I got this new kind that's really cool. plus I got some gymp...only they don't call it gymp anymore. The call it plasticlacing. well, then I got home, I realized I hadn't used gymp in so long that I forgot how to do everything but braid. now here's the really exciting part...I remembered something!! I figured out how to make that box thing. yey!! gooooo me!! yes, yes, an exciting day indeed. |