Chapter Seven
<><><><><><><>
 

Once inside his car, Justin checked his voice mail.  As he waited for the messages, he thought about the doctor.  She was easy enough to talk to and genuinely seemed like she wanted to help him.  He wasn't blind to how pretty she was, but that wasn't the important thing.  He was just relieved to think that she felt she could help him just by talking it out.  For the first time in weeks, he was hopeful that this would all be behind him soon and he would be able to concentrate on the tour.

He listened to his first message from a rather uptight sounding bodyguard.  He sighed and rolled his eyes as he listened to Mike lecturing him on safety.  His voice yammered for several minutes, ending with, "....the next time you ditch me, you little brat, I will hunt you down and cuff you to my arm.  Do you understand?  And don't think I won't do it."

Justin just shook his head and closed his eyes.  The rain had stopped, so he put the top down again.  He could hear crickets, children laughing and the feathery wisps of music in the night air.  Darkness enveloped him and a peaceful feeling descended on him as he looked up at the stars.  The solitude was calming, as he started his car and drove toward home.

As he drove, he listened to his next voice mail message.  He heard JC saying, "J-man, call me when you get in.  I'll be up.  I want to hear about your meeting with the shrink."

Once he arrived home, he noticed the blinking light of his answering machine.  He punched the button and turned up the volume before walking into the kitchen.  There was a message from his mom and one from his aunt.  By the end of those messages, he was sitting on the sofa, eating an apple.  The next voice he heard was like music to his ears.

"Hi baby.  It's just me.  I'm done for the night and just trying to wind down.  I was looking forward to hearing your voice, but I guess I'll just have to keep dreaming huh?"  He heard her pause, then she continued, "I love you, J.  I'm looking for some time to clear so we can see each other.  You know, the same old shuffle.  Call me tomorrow, ok?  Bye."

He played the message again as he sank back in his couch.  He didn't think he could ache this badly for her.  They were used to long separations but he was missing her like crazy.  He picked up the phone and dialed JC's number.  JC answered and Justin said, "My appointment went fine."

Justin exhaled and kneaded his forehead with his fingers.  "But she said I'm a lost cause and that I should just join the Peace Corp now."

JC snickered, "Har Har.  Just spill it, I'm tired and I want to go to bed."

Justin said, "It went okay, actually.  She's easy to talk to and get this...she barely knows who I am!  She said she'd do some homework before I go in tomorrow night.  She seems to think that if I just talk about the stuff bothering me, I'll be fine."

JC could hear the hope in Justin's voice.  "I never had a doubt, Justin.  But you have to LET her help you.  Don't keep stuff from her."

Justin looked surprised and loudly spoke into the phone, "How would you know what to do?  Have you been to a shrink, JC?"  He fully expected JC to say no.

JC answered, "Yeah, I've talked to shrinks a few times.  It's normal, especially in our business.  I can't believe you've never done it."

Justin said, "I've always just talked to my mom, but this is just bigger than any other problems I've had."

JC yawned and said, "Well, I'm gonna go to bed.  See ya tomorrow.  Please be on time, ok?"  Justin promised he would and hung up.

He stood up, really feeling how tired he was.  Recording the album was supposedly less strenuous than dancing but he hadn't danced a bit today and was dead tired.  He took off his shirt and shoes, throwing them on the floor of his bedroom.  It seemed too early to go to bed, so he grabbed his weights and started going through his routine.

It was one way to work out the restlessness he was feeling.  It also gave him something to think about other than Britney.  Britney was on his mind a lot, but hardly ever around.  It'd been worse lately, Justin thought because of the nightmares and sleeplessness.  But he was no shrink and he figured he'd ask Breana about it.  With his schedule, recording and preparing for the tour in Orlando, and Britney's schedule, recording in LA and doing her movie, Justin just didn't see the clearing Britney had hoped for.

After awhile, he walked into the bathroom and took a shower.  He threw on some baby blue pajama bottoms that he'd received from a fan he'd met somewhere along the way.  As he fell into bed, he hated the fact that the bed was cold and lonely.  It had been months since he'd spent any quality time with Britney.  He buried himself in blankets and fell asleep thinking of her.

LATER THAT NIGHT

A red sportscar pulled in front of Justin's house and the headlights were snuffed.  A shadowy figure appeared from inside, dressed in black, and punched a security code into the console at the front gate, allowing for entry without alarms.  The gates opened and closed as the shadow made it's way to the back door, and walked in, quietly.

Tiptoeing up the stairs, the figure stopped at Justin's room, slowly pushing the door open.  The little lamp that he always left on was dimly lighting the room.  The figure took the black cap off of her head and let her blonde hair fall to her shoulders.  She took her black jeans off and pulled the black t-shirt off over her head.   She sighed as she tossed her bra on the floor as well and picked up the t-shirt Justin had thrown on the floor earlier and slipped it over her head.  She briefly stopped to take a whiff of the faint aroma of Justin's cologne that clung to the shirt.

Tossing her discarded clothes into a pile, she peeled the covers back and crawled in bed next to Justin.  She looked for him under all the covers.  She could tell he was lying on his stomach, but he was completely covered with blankets.  All she could see was his tousled blond curls amongst the covers.  She reached up and played with one of the curls softly.  She loved the soft texture of it and the mad unruly way he wore it.  She especially loved to watch it curl right back into it's original shape when she let it go.

She knew without looking that his hands were under the pillow his head was on.  She could tell he was spread out all over the bed, legs everywhere.  She lifted the covers to check and found she was right.  She moved in closer to him and stroked his cheek, feeling the stubble on his chin.  Whenever she watched him sleep, sappy thoughts took over and would thank God for sending this angel down to Earth for her.  He inspired all kinds of romantic, wistful thoughts like that when she allowed herself to think about him.  But even though the look on his face as he slept was soft and innocent, she knew that when he awoke, she would almost see the halo melting from the heat he generated.

She leaned closer to him so she could lightly kiss his cheek.  She could hear and feel his breathing as she gazed at his soft lips.  She smiled as she continued to look at him adoringly.  He stirred in his sleep, she thought probably because he could feel the intense feelings she was showering on him.  She couldn't hold back any longer and began planting little kisses on his lips causing his eyes to flutter open.  He smiled lazily at her, once his eyes focused, and sleepily said, "You're here," before returning her kisses and pulling her tight against him.  She was tired from her cross-country journey but happy to be where she felt warm, comfortable, and loved.  It wasn't long until they were both asleep, buried deep in Justin's covers.

* * * * * *

The next morning, Britney's sleep was broken and she opened her eyes.  Her head had been cradled against Justin's neck and she pulled back to look at him because he was trembling.  He still had her in his arms, but he was shaking and his skin was damp with perspiration.  What woke her was the physical jerking Justin was doing as he was reacting to what Britney surmised was another nightmare.

**NIGHTMARE**

Hands and arms stretched out toward him.  Screams pierced his eardrums, causing his head to ache.  Mouths were moving and eyes were boring holes into him.  Staring at him.  Grasping for him.  Begging for him.  Screaming his name over and over and over, more insistently as time went on.  The feverish looks in their wide eyes made him want to just quietly disappear.  Their cheeks flushed with excitement, as they wanted him, or a piece of him, to take home as a souvenir.

He was back in the bus again.  As he stared out the windows, he saw the girls plastered against the bus, backed by throngs of writhing bodies and screaming voices.  They were pounding on the bus, from all sides, and screaming his name.  Justin, Justin, JUSTIN!  They were pleading and crying.  The bus was rocking as he stared, transfixed by the commotion.  He was praying for police to arrive and escort him safely off the bus, but it was taking longer than expected.

He was alone.  He was afraid.  No, he was terrified.  Gone were the cute, sweet, loving teenage girls who had always made him feel special.  These girls wanted to tear him to shreds, at least that is the feeling he got when he would look at their flushed faces.  He fought to understand the change he had witnessed.  He recognized some of the faces from other places, faces he'd smiled at and even a few he'd kissed.  Now, those girls had transformed into slobbering, clutching, bloodsucking aliens who, if given the chance, would pull his hair, grab his arms, and tear his clothes off his body.  The feeling of being out of control was stark, lonely, and terrifying.

He could feel his chest constricting and his breathing become labored as he stared back at the mob.  He glanced around the room, looking for a possible hiding place, but to no avail.  Suddenly, his senses were assaulted with an overwhelming floral aroma and he looked around the bus for the source.  He was still scared but the smell was so familiar, he couldn't help but seek it out.

++END OF NIGHTMARE++

As if an arm was reaching in to snatch him out of the mire, he heard someone saying his name softly and felt pressure on his cheeks.  "Open your eyes, Justin.  It's a nightmare.  Please come back to me," he heard as he opened his eyes to see the two most beautiful, soft, warm brown eyes he knew, filled with concern and love.

"Brit!  God!  Thank God!" he moaned through his panting and his racing heart, wrapping his arms around her.

Britney noticed he was still trembling but his face was pressed against her neck as he breathed deeply the smell of her honeysuckle shampoo.

Britney had known Justin for a long time and she had never seen his terror so clearly.  She had watched him performing in front of crowds for so long.  When it had all started, he was eager to mingle with the fans and show his devotion back to them.  He just wanted to sing and dance and make everyone happy.  From what she'd seen lately, he had become a shell of his former self.  Replacing the boy she'd fallen in love with, was the man she held in her arms.  It broke her heart because she knew he hated the change as much as everyone else.  He also knew the fans were beginning to see the change too.  Some would laugh it off as just the natural progression into manhood, or the jaded behavior of a highly sought after celebrity, but all who knew Justin well, knew it was something more.  He had never been jaded.

"I'm so glad you're here," he said against her neck as he nuzzled and kissed her.  She pulled back so she could look at him and found herself lost in his deep blue eyes.

"I missed you so much after we didn't get to talk last night," she said as she softly kissed the lips she loved so much.  He looked at her and kissed her cheeks, forehead, eyelids, nose and then found her lips again, where he planted a few more feathery kisses and still hung on to her tightly.

He turned to look at the clock before saying, "I can't stay here all day.  I've got a million things to do."

The soft look he'd had on his face was replaced by a more serious expression.  She didn't want to see the softness disappear.  She held on to him so he couldn't leave and said, with a pout, "I figured you would.  You're as bad as I am with work but I love you, Justin.  Can I just hang with you guys today?"

He nodded and kissed her long and slow, with more passion than before.

This was one thing Justin had a lot of experience in...kissing Britney Spears.  They had first kissed when they were on the Mickey Mouse Club together but it wasn't anything serious.  When MMC was finished, they had both gone back home, he to Tennessee and she to Louisiana.  They lost track of each other until a few years ago when she signed on as *NSYNC's opening act.  They were still attracted to each other, but more intensely, and they started a slow tease, spending time together, getting reacquainted, and  eventually graduating to kissing again.

Now they were older and the attraction was even stronger.  He had always thought she was pretty, but now she was more grown up and even more confident and more beautiful.  She still had the spunk and charm he'd been drawn to back then, but now she was gorgeous and still had a huge thing for him.

Britney had fallen hard for Justin too.  Three or four years had passed since she'd seen him prior to signing on as *NSYNC's opening act.  Justin wasn't that scrawny little kid she'd hung out with during the MMC days, that's for sure.  He was beautiful.  She knew, better than anyone, just what all the screaming was about.  He literally took her breath away, and still continued to rob her of speech at times.  She hadn't been prepared for the bedroom eyes, his full, sexy lips, or the fact that he'd grown so tall and muscular.

Now, as she was lying in Justin's arms, being kissed hungrily by him, she didn't want to stop.  His kisses, when he turned it on, could melt her into a pliant, panting, animal, returning his kisses with the same urgency.  His tongue was aggressively dancing with her own causing her to gasp his name between kisses, escalating the boiling in her body.

She could feel herself reaching the point of no return so she regretfully, but firmly, reached up and clamped her hand over his mouth.  His eyes opened and she could tell from his eyes that he was smiling against her hand.  'Don't smile, I can't fight the smile too,' she thought.  She burrowed into his neck with her face and softly said, "You have to stop kissing me like that."

His breathy response was, "But you just got here...."

She, however, couldn't resist nibbling on his neck and they were soon lost in each other again.  He gently coaxed her with his soft lips, which were slightly damp from her previous kisses.  She couldn't fight it; she didn't want to.  She had been dreaming about being with him like this for so many weeks.  She drew back and gazed at his face, before running her fingers down his cheek and stopping at his mouth.  With her thumb, she stroked his bottom lip, completely lost in how unbelievably sexy she thought it was.  She could hear the ragged breath he drew in and saw his eyes flutter open slowly.  When she looked into the liquid blue of his eyes, the unspoken passion she saw there only intensified the ache she felt for him.

Justin planted soft kisses from her forehead to her mouth, lingering over her mouth and whispered, "Do you like it when I do this?"

He continued his trail of kisses down her neck, lingering there a few moments, to nuzzle her soft skin.  Before she could think clearly enough to stop him, his lips were gently nuzzling her through the cotton t-shirt she had on.  His hot breath filtering through the fabric of the t-shirt as his mouth inched closer to her nipple.  Her breath was shallow as she anticipated his lips making contact.

Her body arched towards him involuntarily and her hands, laced in his curls, pulled his face closer.  The feel of just his breath on her nipple through the t-shirt fabric, was chipping away at her resolve to wait.  As if reading her mind, he brought his head back up and looked at her. She could read the conflicting emotions in his eyes and knew he WAS reading her mind.  "Justin..." she said thickly.

"I know, Brit.  I think I lost it for a minute," Justin said, his voice raspy and his eyes dark with intense emotion.  He tried to pull further away, but she held him tight, burying her face in his neck.  He smelled so good; she wanted nothing more than to stay there all day.  They stayed like that for several minutes, just lying together.

Letting go of him and rolling out of his arms, she moved quickly over to her clothes, in a pile on the floor.  "Can I use your shower, baby?" she said softly.

Justin nodded as he watched her walking around his room, picking up her clothes.  Eight years after they first met she still made his breath catch in his throat and his heart pound.  "Want some company, Brit?" he asked hopefully, sitting up, smiling and nodding his head at her.

She stopped and looked at him impishly.  "You ARE dangerous, J.  You almost seduced me with those lips of yours.  Have you forgotten our deal?" she asked.  She knew she wasn't ready for all that came with that subject.  "Yikes!  Look at the time.  I'll be right back," and she disappeared into his bathroom.

Justin growled in frustration as he flopped back onto the pillows and buried his face in them, smelling the sweet aroma of her shampoo.  He toyed with the idea of just showing up in the shower with her, but thought a little harder and decided that probably wouldn't be wise.  He'd pushed her a little harder than normal this morning, but only because he'd missed her so much.  He just hoped she wouldn't be mad at him.

He rolled out of the bed and walked out to his living room.  He opened the curtains to find it was a beautiful day, which seemed to help push the nightmare away from his mind.  He knew Britney had helped in that department as well.  She always had a calming influence on him, which he had been thankful for more times than he could count.  He picked up Britney's bag and took it to his bedroom so she could change.  She met him in a towel a few minutes later and wrapped her arms around his waist as she walked in front of him. "Your turn," she said and kissed his shoulder.

It wasn't 20 minutes later that they were flying down the highway towards Johnny's compound, with their sunglasses on and the wind in their hair.  He looked over at her occasionally, just to make sure she was really there.  He reached his hand out; she smiled a little smile at him and squeezed his hand.  'This had been an excellent idea!' she thought as she gazed as his curls blowing in the wind and the smile on his face.  She would travel across country for Justin any day.  He was always worth it.