| Mail Two: Joey's Letter //Hey Kelly, Is Bri okay? How�s mom? You holding up good? I wish you were here with me. I miss you so fricking much. And I could use an extra hand around here right about now. It would be the perfect timing. Anyway, you asked, in your previous letter, about JC and Lance. Well, I think we went too far this time. C�s always been able to take all our shit. But that day he just� I used to wonder sometimes if the guy even had a limit � his patience with us was endless � and I guess I got my answer. We pushed him too hard this time. Honestly. This isn�t even Lance�s fault. Lance is hurting like hell, I know he is. He�s so torn right now. That call from his mom� he just didn�t know how to deal. When she told him she wanted him to break up with C, it killed him. He�s never done anything against his mom�s will. It�s true, y�know, he really IS a momma�s boy. And he�s proud of it. So that call was a huge blow. But he handled it wrong. He handled it frickin� badly. I mean, if he had just broken the news gently it wouldn�t have been half bad. But to say it, out loud, in front of Johnny and the fans and everything� that must�ve killed Jace. Of course he didn�t say it outright, but his actions, his words� it was so clear then. To all of us. The way he refused to hold JC�s hand, even in the car. The way he turned away from JC every time the guy tried to smile at him, the way he sang �This I Promise You� without a single glance at Jace� I know that last bit killed any ray of hope JC had left. That was brutal. It was downright vicious. And telling Rosie that he was a �free man with no thought of a relationship at the moment�, god, that was cruel. I swear JC almost cried. He was biting his lip so hard� And then that other night. We all heard their argument. Well, Lance was doing most of the screaming, saying that JC just didn�t fit into the picture he had of himself in future, and that it was impossible between them. Man, Lance can be so cold. And JC just took it, I know, because we all saw him the next morning. Chris saw him earlier than that. Chris was with him the whole night. But I know Lance has recovered now. He�s over it. His mom�s accepted it. He wants JC back. But his stupid ego is stopping him from apologizing. God, you�d think that after all these years� so, naturally, we thought of a plan to help those two. And, even more naturally, we screwed everything up royally. We thought pushing them together in the tour would help. They�d be stuck together so much that they�d HAVE to get everything sorted out. And they both agreed, as usual. We even went so far as to make sure they had breathing spaces in between the dance steps and stuff, not that many, but we tried. And they went along with it. Not a word of complaint besides the usual grumbling. They even managed to bear everything with a smile. They didn�t make up. Then, on the day we were being FILMED, god, of all days� Lance broke down. JC broke down. JC was the first. I doubt anyone heard it, really, but his voice cracked � three times � during THEIR song. Lance didn�t even look at him. Well, he GLANCED, but they never actually looked each other in the eye. And during Gone� Gone was the last straw. Lance cried. He frickin� CRIED. I don�t know if the camera caught him but I sure hope not. I heard him sniffling in his room as I walked past a while ago. Anyway, he shot this look at JC before turning away quickly. I know. I caught that look. And JC�s pained looks as he sang. JC kept his eyes closed for mostly the whole song. Lance thrives on pressure, so he managed to keep that happy-go-lucky demeanour throughout the whole concert, but JC� he just lets his feelings get the better of him. And even during Something Like You� they changed the choreography at the last minute so that they wouldn�t have to come face-to-face. They didn�t even glance at each other. Not one look. I don�t know how they did it. If I were them, I know I wouldn�t have managed that. But later, after the show, JC just went to the back of the bus and cried. I went in and saw him. We all did. Except Lance. Lance stayed in the front with our driver. I remember C shaking his head and sobbing and looking up at us with that helpless expression that hurt us so bad� and he said he couldn�t take it anymore, that dealing with Lance like this was just too tough, that he needed a breather, that he didn�t want this anymore, that he couldn�t take this shit, that he wanted it all to stop, that he loved Lance and he didn�t know why the rest of the world couldn�t see it, that he wanted Lance, needed Lance, and that he just wished it was over. We cried together. And then he wiped his eyes, smiled, and told us he was okay. And that it was just a temporary breakdown and that he would be fine in the morning. At the hotel, he went straight to his room and crashed. He�s still in there and has been for the past few weeks since that night. Well, actually, he�s started rooming with Chris. So they both hole up in the room together. Same thing after every concert. Night after night after night. I don�t know how he�s holding up. I can only hope he�s okay. I wish they�d just resolve this already. Things would be so much easier if you were here. But Lance isn�t doing all that good either. I know he�s tired and miserable and he just needs a little motivation to get him started, so he can, y�know, get back with C. They need more time, that�s all. I just don�t know how long more this is gonna take. It�s going to be rough, I can tell you, but they�ll patch up again. It�s just� it�s the waiting that�s going to hurt us. And every time they don�t take a chance, a little bit of hope of them reconciling slips away. It�s scary, Kel, because JC and Lance were the strongest, most beautiful couple we knew. And now� they�ve become like this, all because of the deadly web of circumstance. It�s not Lance�s fault that his mom acted that way, it�s not JC�s fault that Diane didn�t like him, it�s not Diane�s fault that she felt JC was not the one for her son� it�s just� maybe it�s too late for that now. But I don�t think either of them is at fault. I just think JC is hurting worse than Lance is. What should I do? Help me, Kel. Love, Joey// ===================== Joey threw down his ballpoint pen, rolling his neck to get the kinks out of his system. He looked up at the sound of Lance�s deep bass, smiling. �Hey Joe, watcha doing?� Joey folded the letter neatly and slipped it into an envelope ready to post. �Nothing much.� �You wanna go for a movie or something?� �Lance,� Joey looked the green-eyed youth straight in the eye, deciding that this had gone on long enough and the best way to work with Lance was speaking frankly. Beating around the bush never worked with the blond. �Don�t you think you should resolve this JC thing?� There was an awkward, thoughtful pause before Lance spoke again. �Yeah, but god Joey, I don�t know where to start.� Joey nodded, clapping a bear like hand over Lance�s shoulder. �If you need someone to talk, you know where to find me. Just make sure you don�t go breaking more hearts here now, y�hear? Five hearts is a hard number to achieve in itself.� This was meant to be a joke and Lance took it as such. �Yeah, whatever, Fatone.� Joey smiled and waved as Lance wandered back to his own room, movie forgotten, before dropping his chin back down onto his palm and staring idly out the window again. �Hey.� Joey jerked up, smiling when he saw JC at the door. �Jace, dude, my man! How are ya?� JC managed a hollow chuckle. �Jesus Joe, you don�t have to act like you didn�t see me at the meeting a few hours ago.� �Yeah, but a few hours is a long time, man.� �Whatever, Joe.� �Listen, you feeling any better?� Joey asked, suddenly serious. JC nodded, uncharacteristically silent and still as his eyes clouded over. �I kinda wanted to NOT talk about it today, y�know?� �Yeah. Okay. Fine. Um. How�s� Heather?� �Joe, stop hitting on my sis,� JC joked. Joey rolled his eyes. �Even I�m not that desperate,� he retorted. JC punched Joey in the arm, glaring mock angrily, �Hey! I resent that!� And the two laughed the afternoon away. But both could sense the underlying tension in the atmosphere and both prayed that this emotional crisis would soon be over. For all their sakes. TBC� |