| Part V JC chewed nervously on his bottom lip, gazing out of the window. Lance looked away from the road and placed a reassuring hand over JC�s. �I�ll be fine. I�m gonna tell Joseph I want out. Okay? And if that doesn�t work, well�� Lance trailed off and stuck his hand in his pocket. THIS was what a gun was used for � killing ENEMIES. JC nodded slowly, feeling an unsettling nervousness rest in his gut. �Yeah�,� he said hoarsely. �I know.� Lance smiled and turned back to focus on the road. Neither man spoke for the remaining journey. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ �What the f� HELL do you mean, you want OUT?� Lance didn�t even wince at Joseph�s tone. He shrugged coolly and replied, �I want OUT. This doesn�t do it anymore. I can do other things to survive, you know. All my life you�ve made me feel like I was worthless� like I wasn�t even WORTH the chance to live.� Lance stared defiantly into Joseph�s eyes, daring the older brunette to deny the accusations, which he surprisingly did not. �And I�m so much more than that. Someone showed me just how much I�m worth. I don�t have to take this crap Joseph. Because I�m WORTH SOMETHING. And someone LOVES me. And just knowing that is enough.� Joseph shook his head in disgust. �You let fantasies take you away from real life, James. That�s not good for a spy. That�s ALL you are. That�s ALL you can EVER be. Do you think anyone will accept you elsewhere? How can they? You�ve been trained to KILL, Bass. You don�t just use a petty eraser to rub it all away and hope every frigging thing will be better tomorrow.� Lance shook his head, �No. No, I can�t do that. I can�t use erasers or ANYTHING to correct the wrongs I�ve done in my life. But I can start making amends, Joseph. I can make AMENDS. Do you even understand the meaning of that? Or is it just another useless word to you?� Joseph snorted, �James, in my book, there is no such thing as �amends�.� He walked around his desk and came face-to-face with Lance as he spat out the next few words, �Or leaving.� Before anything could register, Lance felt Joseph�s metallic gun press firmly against his temple. Instinctively, he seized his own gun and pulled it out, pointing it at Joseph�s forehead. Joseph stared, unblinkingly, at his top spy. Both men were locked in the final, deadly combat that would decide Lance�s freedom� or death. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JC knew something was going to go wrong. He could just feel it. And after being a spy for slightly over nine years, JC knew his gut instinct was hardly ever inaccurate. With lightning speed he had picked up over the years of training, JC ducked out of Lance�s car and dashed towards the building that was a few blocks away, fervently praying that he wasn�t too late. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lance held his breath, wishing for some kind of miracle to save him. He knew that Joseph had had years of training, and was far more experienced in killing than Lance could ever HOPE to be. Still, the two guns hung in the air, and Lance swore he could almost smell Death as it crept closer and closer upon him. �What�s wrong, Bass?� Joseph mocked, his mud-brown eyes chilling Lance to the bone. �Chickening out?� Lance willed his hands to remain steady and twisted his face into a sardonic expression, �You tell me, Joseph. You�re the one with the gun pressed up against my head. Why aren�t you blowing my brains out?� �What? You want me to?� Joseph mocked. �I�m giving you ten seconds to reconsider, James. If you choose to stay, you�ll still be my right-hand man. But if you don�t� well, don�t blame me for what this baby�s gonna do to you.� Joseph tossed a careless glance at the gun in his hand. Lance rolled his eyes. �You blow my brains out and I�ll shoot you too. Fair�s fair. A life for a life.� Joseph pretended he hadn�t heard Lance. He knew, without a doubt, that he would be able to escape death. He was nimble, agile� he could move his head in a flash and Lance�s bullet would whiz past his brain harmlessly. �Ten seconds, Bass.� Lance sighed. �Ten�� �You know how they say that when Death is nearing, you�ll see your life flash before your eyes?� JC asked his boyfriend softly one day, as he stroked Lance�s blond hair absently. Lance looked curiously at JC, waiting for the brunette to continue. �Well, if you ever experience that, will you tell me what it�s like? I�ve never� been close to death. I don�t think it actually works that way.� Lance had to smile at his lover�s absurd statement. �Josh, has anyone ever told you you�re weird?� JC grinned, �I try.� �Yeah, whatever.� There was a moment of comfortable silence before either man spoke again, �Hey baby? � I�ll tell you, if I get a chance to play with Death, exactly what it�s like.� Lance promised. �Kay.� �But I think it DOES work that way.� Lance told JC. Then, as an afterthought, he added, �I�d like to see how my life flashes past me.� JC just smiled. Lance almost smiled bitterly. So he WAS right. Your life DID flash past you. �Nine�� �Josh! Josh, please. Listen, we�ll get past this. You don�t have to� Josh, wait!� JC turned slowly from his precarious position on the edge of the roof. �Lance?� he was shocked to see tears trekking down his lover�s cheeks. �Baby? Why are you crying?� �Josh, please don�t. Come down. Please. We can talk things out!� Lance pleaded. �Lance�?� JC was confused by his boyfriend�s behaviour, before the light suddenly seemed to go off in his head. �Come up here, babe. I�m not trying to� I�m not gonna jump, Lance. Just� come up here.� Lance hesitated but relented and allowed JC to pull him up onto the roof. The view was breathtaking. Lance gripped onto JC�s arm so tightly, JC thought he had cut off the blood circulation. Carefully, JC loosened Lance�s grip on his arm and began tugging gently at the blond. When they reached the antenna on the top of the house, JC grabbed hold of it lightly, hoisting himself a little higher and pulling Lance�s back to meet his chest. Then, he cautiously followed the width of Lance�s arms with his hands, lifting them till they were parallel to the ground. Lance grinned at the cheesiness of JC�s actions. �What, am I supposed to feel like Rose in Titanic?� Lance pulled a funny face before squeaking, �I�m flying Jack, I�m flying!� JC almost fell from laughing and grabbed quickly onto the antenna. �You can�t do the girl thang. And I happen to LIKE that movie!� �Are you sure it wasn�t Kate Winslet�s ass you liked?� JC pretended to consider a moment before bringing Lance�s body closer to his own and whispering, �Nah� your ass is much more tempting.� �Eight�� �Josh�� �Lance? What�s wrong?� �Nothing,� Lance sighed, flopping onto the bed. �I just had a bad day. I� missed you. I wanted to hear your voice.� Lance smiled when he heard JC sigh happily. �I miss you too� what happened?� �I killed Joseph�s wife and kid,� Lance admitted hollowly, Kelly�s shocked, horrified expression imprinted deeply in his mind. �They� pissed him off and he told me to�� Lance let his voice trail off, clutching tighter to the phone. JC inhaled sharply, �Lance� oh god. Are you holding up okay?� Lance managed to smile tiredly at the concern in JC�s voice as he stuck the phone in between his neck and shoulder, pulled off his socks and crawled wretchedly into bed. �Yeah� I�ll be okay. I just needed to get it off my chest. And� Josh? You� I don�t think I should have told you-� �Chris won�t know a thing, baby,� JC promised. �Now sleep. You need your rest.� Lance closed his eyes obediently and snuggled under the covers, imagining the feel of JC�s skin against his own. Then� �Sing me something, Josh?� As Lance listened to JC sing him a lullaby he didn�t recognize, his eyes closed sleepily. The only comprehendible thought the blond could manage before drifting off to sleep was �God, I love him.� �Seven�� �La-� JC was cut off when a set of swollen, red lips pressed firmly over his, not allowing him to speak. The kiss left JC tingling all over and even as Lance forced him to back up against the wall, JC could feel himself tense with anticipation. The sudden change in Lance�s usually cool, calm demeanour was, in a word, shocking. JC had been pushed into the house and backed up against the wall, Lance�s lips devouring his own hungrily. As another of Lance�s heated kisses left JC breathless, the brunette tried again to speak, only to be interrupted yet again. Finally, JC surrendered to Lance�s seductive lips and gave up all thought of speech. Greedily, the two young men kissed, gasping for breath after every impassioned contact. Their hands roamed up and down each other, their clothes suddenly seeming to radiate the heat from their bodies. Finally, their frenzied moment passed and it left the two spies on Lance�s comfortable bed, next to each other, both enjoying the warmth of the other�s body. As Lance dropped teasing kisses against JC�s collarbone, the brunette moaned and Lance had to hide a smile. Words finally spilled from the blond�s mouth as he leaned down and gave his lover a gentle kiss. �You talk too much.� �Six�� �Josh, it�s� I� I don�t know what to say.� �Then don�t say a word, baby.� JC smiled, pleased to see Lance so amazed. The speechless look on his boyfriend�s face was priceless. �Just show me you like it.� Lance kissed JC tenderly on the cheek. �I LOVE it. Thank you, Josh. Thank you.� �You sound like a broken record,� JC teased, as Lance picked up the photo album JC had gotten him. Inside were pictures of them both. Though there were few photos, Lance treasured the album like a lifeline. They had hardly taken any pictures. For one thing, if anyone else found it, they would be in deep shit. For another, JC didn�t like taking photos. And usually there was no one to take the photos for them. Time spent together was few and far between as it was, but each moment was precious and cherished by both. That�s what made the album all the more special. Lance hugged the beautiful item to his chest and swore he would keep it with him no matter what. �Love you, Lance.� JC said finally, breaking into Lance�s reverie. Lance smiled appreciatively at his boyfriend. �Love you, Josh.� �Five�� �I�m scared.� Silently, JC climbed into the bed next to his lover. �Don�t be. I won�t hurt you.� �I know� it�s just-� �I can take the floor Lance,� JC said softly, not wanting to put his boyfriend of three months in a tough spot. �It doesn�t make a difference, really.� �Nah, I�m just being paranoid.� Lance shook his head and smiled at JC. �Don�t let me let you go.� JC smiled, knowing the words were from an old song or something. Something he couldn�t really remember. As he held the younger man in his arms and drifted to sleep, JC felt as though he was the luckiest man alive. �I�m so lucky to have you,� JC murmured before he fell asleep. Lance studied his boyfriend�s sleeping profile. �No� I�M the lucky one.� �Four�� �Josh, come on, I won�t laugh, I promise.� JC licked his lips nervously and looked around the deserted bedroom, almost as if for a way of escape. Finally, he sighed and gave in, turning to stare at the lime green eyes gazing into his own. �Oh all right.� JC cleared his throat and Lance waited with abated breath. Nothing in the WORLD could have prepared him for the beauty, the PASSION in JC�s voice. �I toss and turn when I�m alone, and I just can�t wait till you get home, waiting for your call, cos tonight we�re gonna do it all, � it�s just the two of us. Cos I�m thinking about you day and night, and I just can�t get you off my mind, when you get a minute baby I was thinking we could hook up, it�s just the two of us, the two of us. Cos in a room full of people you�re the only one around and nothing in this world could ever bring us down. Baby I�ll be there, telling you I care, this I swear, � it�s just the two of us, the two of us�� JC licked his lips as he let his voice trail off. �Um� Lance?� he said, sounding almost nervous as he turned to the blond, waiting for the other man�s approval. �Josh�� there were tears augmenting in Lance�s eyes as he flung his arms around JC�s neck. �It�s� it�s beautiful. It�s so beautiful. How� what inspired you to write this? It�s� it�s so incredible.� JC blushed at Lance�s rambling. He smiled at his boyfriend, �I� You, Lance.� �What?� �YOU inspired me. YOU are my inspiration.� �I love you too.� �Three�� Lance crept quietly behind his boyfriend, who was sprawled lazily on his garden chair. They were at Lance�s apartment again, since JC lived with Chris and there was NO WAY they would be able to sneak in without the older man knowing. �I know you�re there Lance,� JC mumbled, ignoring the blond. �But what you don�t know won�t hurt you,� Lance teased, gripping tighter onto the long, snake-like object he held in his hands. JC sat up quickly at Lance�s statement, confused. But he had been with Lance long enough to know that the tone of mischief in Lance�s voice was NOT a good sign. �Gotcha!� Lance giggled as he aimed the garden hose in his hands at JC, drenching the brunette from head to toe. Lance collapsed onto the ground, his body shaking with laughter, at the shocked look of disbelief on his boyfriend�s face. �Oh� Josh� you� your face� oh god� that was� priceless�� JC shook his wet hair out of his eyes before an evil grin spread on his face. He grabbed the hose from Lance and proceeded to spray the shaking blond with the icy cold water. Lance yelled at the sudden drop in temperature and sprang to his feet, pounced on JC and knocked the hose out of his hands. The two grown men wrestled playfully in the grass, with Lance finally emerging on top of JC. He tilted his head to the side and studied JC�s gorgeous profile. His brown hair was still dripping, there were droplets of water hanging off of his eyelashes and Lance had to stifle a gasp when he gazed into JC�s azure crystals, losing himself in JC�s charming, alluring eyes. His emerald gems finally tore away from JC�s blue orbs and travelled downwards to the man�s lips. Lance smiled and leaned down, licking the beads of water off of JC�s red lips gently, his tongue tantalizing JC. �Lance�� JC whispered, as Lance lifted his head, unable to compute anything in his mind besides the beautiful blond. Just as their lips met in a sweet, affectionate kiss, JC chuckled. �We should do this more often.� �Two�� JC stood at the door silently, watching his angelic blond lover sleep peacefully into the night. He tilted his head gently to the side and allowed a small smile to grace his face. As if he could sense it, Lance opened his eyes sleepily and caught sight of JC standing at the doorway. �Josh?� he mumbled tiredly, only half conscious. �What�s wrong?� JC hung back at the door a moment before getting into the bed with Lance. �Nothing,� he said quietly, obvious sadness in his voice. Lance was up and alert in a second. Whenever JC let even the slightest bit of emotion slip, Lance would be attentive, because that had to mean that something was seriously wrong. And now that JC was showing his feelings so freely� �Josh?� Lance turned the brunette to face himself and lifted JC�s chin gently, gasping at the tears he saw in JC�s sky-blue eyes. �Babe, what�s wrong?� �Nothing,� JC insisted. But he finally broke when Lance hugged him tightly, and said, �I just� I don�t know why you�re with me.� �WHAT!?� Lance almost shouted, shocked at JC�s soft reply. �You�re so beautiful and wonderful and� and perfect. I don�t know why you�re with someone as stupid and� as talentless, if there even is such a word, and as flawed as me.� JC let another tear slip down his cheek as he closed his eyes to the pain that was swallowing him whole. �Josh�� Lance was absolutely stunned by JC�s confession. �I never knew you felt that way. Oh god, Josh� you�ve got it all wrong. I�M so amazed that you�re with here with me. I never thought I was worth loving, and you�ve proven me wrong. All my life I�ve felt like a valueless nothing, and you�ve shown me that I AM important. I can�t thank you enough for that.� The two men embraced as JC wept on Lance�s shoulder. �It�s just that so many men out there are so much better for you than I am. You�re so strong and I keep crumbling and�� JC shook his head, unable to continue. Lance cupped JC�s face gently but firmly in his hands and looked him in the eye. �Don�t you EVER think that. You are the most perfect part of me. You complete me. YOU make me feel that life is actually worth something. YOU are what keeps me going strong, Josh. Don�t ever forget that.� �I won�t,� JC swore. �I love you.� �I love you too.� With that, the two spies sank onto their pillows, arms wrapped protectively around each other, as they slept silently, contentedly, through the night. �One�� JC sighed in exasperation. He had dreamt up a romantic evening for the both of them. After all, it WAS Valentine�s day. But nooooo, he was stuck in a blindfold waiting for Lance to finish whatever surprise he had up his sleeve. He lifted his hand to the silk cloth that blocked the rest of the world from his sight. But a familiar hand swatted his own away. �Uh, uh,� Lance teased. �No peeking.� JC tried to frown but a grin appeared on his face. �Well, hurry, I can�t wait.� Lance clucked his tongue laughingly and pretended to sigh, �Josh, haven�t you heard that patience is a virtue?� �Well, what about the early bird catches the worm?� JC shot back. �Good comes to those who wait!� Lance retorted, surprised to see a malicious grin cross JC�s face. �Who said anything about being good?� JC asked, only half joking. �I want to be bad. Downright wicked!� Lance shook his head, but couldn�t resist a chuckle. He knew JC was kidding. They had agreed that neither of them wanted to do anything TOO PHYSICAL till after marriage or something. Call them old fashioned but still. After what seemed like forever, JC felt Lance press his fingers into something soft and cool and� sticky. Lance giggled as JC tried to pull his fingers away. �Josh, calm down. You�ll like this.� �I sure hope so,� JC muttered. As soon as his fingers were out of the mixture, JC felt Lance�s tongue wrap around his index finger and he had to stifle a groan. �Lance�� he gasped, as Lance�s moist tongue attacked his thumb. �What-� �Shh!� Lance whispered as he finished licking the gooey substance off of JC�s fingers. Soon, JC felt something cool rub against his lips. He smiled as he realized the blond�s evil plan. Slowly, Lance reached over to untie JC�s blindfold and JC caught a whiff of Lance�s breath. It was chocolate, JC realized. Then the blinding light of the world rushed to greet him and he had to shut his eyes. Lance�s lips tackled his then, and JC let out a submissive moan. Lance�s lips were stained with chocolate and JC could smell and taste the sweet stuff practically oozing from his boyfriend. Lance and chocolate made a VERY good combination. Lance kept kissing and licking at JC�s lips until the chocolate was all gone. Then he sat up, satisfied by the dazed look on JC�s face. He felt like a teenager then, because he seemed to get a hormonal rush every time JC was around. �I think I like you better when you do these teeny things.� JC managed to whisper, before the two began a bout of heated kissing. �I take it back,� JC gasped against Lance�s lips. �I LOVE you so much MORE when you do these teeny things.� What was it about them being old-fashioned again? Lance shut his eyes and prepared himself for death, Josh the only thing that ran through his mind. A gunshot rang loud and clear and Lance�s eyes fluttered open. Fear constricted his heart as he froze before choking out in a weak, almost inaudible voice, �Josh�� TBC... |