| Part IV JC sighed as he put down the phone softly. He and Chris had sat quietly for the past hour, both saying nothing, and yet trying to break the icy silence they had somehow built up. The sun was rising in the horizon and JC got out of bed, stretching his long limbs and gazing out of the window, trying to see beyond the blinds that he didn�t dare to raise for fear of being noticed. For what seemed like minutes, JC stood staring at the blinds, mesmerized, wondering what was beyond the drawn curtains. When he heard the sound of Lance�s engine being killed in the garage, JC blinked distractedly and gazed down at the clock, starting when he realized he had been staring into nothing for the past two hours. Almost bouncing down the stairs, JC smiled as he heard the familiar footsteps walk toward the front door. Pulling the door open softly, JC tilted his head, taking in Lance�s seemingly depressed expression for a few seconds before beckoning for his boyfriend to come into the house. �Problems?� he asked soothingly, as he began kneading the tired muscles in Lance�s neck. JC felt Lance stiffen at their slight contact and he pulled away, not knowing what to do. �Should I go?� he asked, softer this time. Lance shook his head, a frown creasing his features. And JC licked his lips nervously. �Do you want� I mean� I could� um� I know where the food is and if you�re hungry, I could-� Lance shook his head, interrupting JC�s sentence with a brief, �Nah, not right now.� JC seated himself next to Lance, leaving some space between their thighs. �Okay.� He saw Lance fidgeting with something in his coat pocket and he looked curiously at Lance, who had a dark, guilty expression on his handsome face. And it scared the hell out of JC. �Lance?� he said gently. �Are you� wha? What are you� oh Christ�� JC�s voice trailed off as he felt the cool metal press against his forehead. He swallowed with difficulty, and let out a shuddering breath. JC heard the ominous click of the gun and he knew Lance had no choice. �Wait,� he breathed. �Wait.� Lance�s shaking finger paused at the trigger, and JC knew he had bought himself a last few moments with the wonderful man he loved. The dangerous man who was about to kill him. Time seemed to freeze, though, when JC opened his mouth and began singing the tune Lance knew so well, the tune that had never left him ever since JC had sung it for the first time. �Our love is a flame that will never ever die, I�ll be there to wipe your tears whenever you cry, Baby, when you smile, everything feels right And your arms are the arms I want to feel at night. And your heart�s a place that I�ll leave never Cos we both know I�m dangerously yours forever.� JC didn�t turn to meet Lance�s eyes when he finished the verse. If he had, he would have seen the love and pain shining in his boyfriend�s eyes. �Dangerously yours,� Lance finished, his voice thick with emotion. There was a hint of a smile in JC�s tone when he next spoke, but his face betrayed misery. �You remember.� �Of course.� JC took a deep breath and closed his eyes, a painful smile on his face. Knowing Lance still loved him, knowing that he wasn�t doing this willingly� it was enough for JC. He could feel the gun quaking as Lance held it up to his forehead, willing himself to keep it steady. �Don�t think when you shoot,� JC instructed softly, gently. �Keep your mind clear and focused�� Lance rolled his eyes as he missed the third bottle that night. �Dammit, I�ll never get this, Josh!� �Yes, you will!� JC insisted. �Come on, try again!� Lance sighed, but obeyed. Lifting the gun, Lance aimed it at eye level, shutting one eye. JC shook his head, �When you shoot, keep both eyes open. It gives you a clearer view.� When Lance missed AGAIN, JC wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and, resting his chin lightly on Lance�s shoulder so he could see the target, lifted the gun and instructed Lance all over again for what seemed like the hundredth time that morning. When the bullet finally hit the target, Lance turned and smiled triumphantly into JC�s breath-taking eyes. �Josh! It hit! Oh wow!� He pressed a light kiss on JC�s lips before turning excitedly back to the targets and aiming again. And shooting them off the table one by one. Lance had never missed another shot again. Ever since that day, Joseph had never worried about Lance ever. It was thanks to JC that Lance had learnt to shoot properly, really, and this time, JC wondered bitterly if all his guidance would backfire on him and be the cause of his own death. The gun was still on the same level as JC�s forehead. �Don�t think,� he repeated. �Concentrate on the� target.� His voice choked on the word. �Use both hands, both eyes open... Shoot.� Lance bit his lip as tears filled his jade-green eyes. JC was being such a wonderful person. He knew Lance had no choice and he didn�t blame anyone, just accepted it. Lance hadn�t thought it was possible for him to love JC anymore than he already did, but JC proved him wrong. AGAIN. The memories came rushing back and Lance had to clench his fists to keep himself from crying. No tears, he chanted. No tears, no tears, no tears! He ORDERED himself to remember his training, remember the way Joseph had trained him. NO TEARS! Dammit, why was it that whenever JC was around, Lance became so weak? SO FREAKING WEAK. He hated it. Hated seeing himself crumble every time the man walked past. JC was gorgeous, everything Lance had ever dreamt of. And he was smart, funny, stupid yet witty� nothing in Lance�s wildest dreams had prepared him for JC in his life. And in a funny way, Lance was glad. Because JC WAS his life. JC was his everything. He couldn�t lose his everything. Because then he�d be lost as well. Lance felt a tear slide down his cheek but made no move to brush it away. JC turned slowly to face Lance, hoping, praying, that Lance wouldn�t shoot. Not yet. There was one last thing he had to do. �Lance, baby, why�? Don�t cry,� JC whispered when he saw the tears. Slowly, tentatively, JC reached slowly to wipe Lance�s tears, thankful when Lance didn�t shy away from his touch. **�Our love is a flame that will never ever die, I�ll be there to wipe your tears whenever you cry, Babe, when you smile, everything feels right And your arms are the arms I want to feel at night. And your heart�s a place that I�ll leave never Cos we both know I�m dangerously yours forever.�** Lance managed a smile. Only JC would sing in a life-threatening situation. �Cos we both know I�m�� �Dangerously yours forever,� the two men finished, as Lance finally broke down. The gun fell from his fingers and he dove into the security of JC�s arms. �Oh GOD!� he whispered, too choked by his tears to speak. �Oh GOD, why do you always DO this to me?� Lance sobbed into JC�s shirt, his arms fastened securely around the older man�s neck. �Oh Christ� you make me so freaking WEAK. Do you know that? Do you know� what you DO to me?� Lance shook his head in exasperation when he saw, through his tear-filled eyes, the gun lying helplessly, innocently, on the ground. �WHY do you DO this to me? WHY?� JC looked down at the crumpled form in his lap, feeling his own tears slip down his cheeks. �Because I love you.� �Loving me� is dangerous,� Lance finally choked out. �That�s why you�re dangerously mine.� Through his tears, Lance had to smile. �And I honestly wouldn�t have it any other way.� TBC... |