Tapestry of Memories

June 1970 - Page 30

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Written by Michelle

Against my better judgment, I went back to the room in the East wing. I begin to understand why Elizabeth tries to keep so much of Collinwood shut up. I even start to see nothing odd about the way these sections have been abandoned with furniture upended and objects thrown every which way. It’s almost as if previous generations were continually fleeing great evils, but seeking to contain them with nothing more than a locked door.

Sealing evil up doesn’t make it go away, however. I learned that today.

Some of the people in that other band of time may be different in character; Angelique is not one of them. She has decided, probably with cause, that Barnabas is her enemy. In and of itself, that does not disturb me. What frightens me is the fact that this Angelique seems to act less from a misconstrued and passionate sense of wronged justice and more from cold blooded evil.

On the other hand, I look at my counterpart and I question whether Eliot Stokes can be right about the whys of parallel time. I am at a loss to guess what sorts of circumstances would have caused me to become a housekeeper of all things. And what would make me so devoted to Angelique? Hoffman is so cold; surely, I was never that devoid of human feeling.

* * *

Determined to get through, I waited in the empty room. To my joy, Barnabas came back. I don’t think I can express how it felt to really see him again--relief certainly, elation, so many different emotions rushed at me. I didn’t expect him to return them entirely, but it hurt that the first words out of his mouth concerned the danger Maggie’s counterpart was in. It’s as if in the short time Barnabas has lived in this other world, the people he’s met there have become more important to him than we are.

I first tried to persuade him to let me return with him, but he was adamant that I stay here. He seems concerned that should I encounter Hoffman, something terrible might happen, that perhaps we could not both exist in the same space. He asked me to lock the door so that none of the family might be trapped. That there is in all likelihood another set of keys or that “the family” might resent his instructions didn’t occur to him and I didn’t bother to point it out.

I hate how my feelings for him always get in the way; it’s only afterward that I begin to see the flaws in his logic, the things I should have said, should have done.

Barnabas got his way, of course. He always does. He returned to the other band of time and once again I find myself holding vigil.

[Episodes 1031 – 1032]

Quentin has been very supportive. It’s refreshing to deal with him in so many ways. He’s certainly nowhere near as impetuous as Barnabas. He is as concerned as I am that Barnabas could be in terrible danger. Barnabas never been the best liar and if his secret should be discovered . . . I don’t want to think about that.

When I recounted the concerns Barnabas expressed about two Julia Hoffmans meeting and possible catastrophe, Quentin laughed outright. He seems to think that Barnabas may have gotten this notion from a “Star Trek” episode. I couldn’t quite believe that, his exposure to television being extremely limited. Apparently, the men of Collinwood sneak into Mrs. Johnson’s room when she goes bowling to watch her television.

Quentin saw my face and tried to downplay it. I’m sure he feared that I might try and join Barnabas if I thought there was no real danger. He was right. I’ve lived too active a life for too long to spend any time of crisis sitting back and watching events unfold.

[Episode 1035]

The events of the past few days have had a nightmarish quality to them. I hardly know where to begin. One minute I was at Collinwood in my own time, trying to determine how or if I should join Barnabas, the next I was suddenly conscious that he needed me--that his very safety depended on me. Thank God, I listened to my instincts.

The room changed almost instantly. I managed to get to the Old House undetected, but when I arrived, I saw the door to the secret room ajar. Hoffman had a stake poised over Barnabas’ heart and the hammer was swinging toward it.

Scarcely had I shut the door when this world’s version (or descendent?) of Bruno confronted me. He was less obviously sado-masochistic than the Bruno I had the misfortune to know. Nonetheless, he is not exactly a sterling specimen of humanity. He immediately saw that I was “different”--hopefully this is the result of the clothes I was wearing and my hair. He was easily satisfied though. The purpose of his visit seemed to be to hit me or rather Hoffman up for a loan. Hoffman evidently supplemented her income by accepting “gifts” for her silence.

After he left, I returned to the secret room to check on Hoffman.

I didn’t mean to kill her . . .

We think we have limits. There was a time when I thought the one thing I would not do, could not do, was to take a human life. I’ve disproved that more than once now. It doesn’t get any easier to bear. I should do something about it, but the solution. I cannot think about that now.

Willie, or rather, Will found me. He thought I was Hoffman. He’s very different from our Willie Loomis. This notion of a time band composed of people who represent the “road not taken” cannot be entirely correct. The differences I am finding in these people are too deep to be the result of alternative upbringings, career and romantic choices. In some ways, it’s like dealing with fun house mirror reflections come to life.

We feared that perhaps Hoffman had communicated Barnabas’ secret to Angelique somehow. Will was reluctant, but I persuaded him of the only possible remedy: to take Hoffman’s place.

There was no note, thank God, but Angelique, there was, however, and all too many nerve wracking moments. Hoffman had evidently phoned her and hinted at a great discovery. I did a lot of fast talking and escaped unscathed. I think Will was more relieved than I was! He wanted me to get out while I could. My success with Angelique has convinced me; I’m staying here.

[Episode 1036]

Something incredible has happened. That I can still see anything as such after what has happened in the past few years scares me not a little, but incredible and bizarre it was.

Angelique was busy with her Tarot cards when I found her. She is still suspicious of me. I managed to allay her fears when she collapsed. I revived her with smelling salts and she made me go to Timothy Stokes, her father, who has managed somehow to bring her back from the dead.

He is so very different from the Stokes I know . . . more on that later, when and if I find the time. He showed me what is keeping Angelique alive.

And I thought Eric Lang was insane . . .

* * *

Everything’s happened so quickly. Persuading Angelique to have her stepfather come to Collinwood was not difficult. She doesn’t trust him, but she knows how essential he is to her continued survival. With him at Collinwood, there is nothing to stop us.

For the first time since Barnabas came into my life, I feel there might be real hope for us. He’s been positively affectionate. “WE can end it now.” WE. All we need to do is destroy the body Stokes has been using to keep Angelique from dying. The body that supplies the life force is not alive, per se. For once my conscience is clear. Destroy it and Angelique will die and we can return to our own time. After that, who knows?

I’ve never been so anxious to go anywhere, as I am to get to Stokes’ cottage.

[Episode 1038]