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"Hey, worthless Wilbur, what is that?"
"Well, son, I believe it's a catfish" said Wilbur
"No father. I believe it is Lucifer."
"Oh. Whatever you think son. How cute"
Ticked off at his incessant father, little Linitor hopped
into the water. Even with his keen intellect and
skills, Lini couldn't swim. He drowned before his
father came to.
"Son?" he muttered.
He knew his wife wouldn't be happy. He went home and
noticed a note, written in what appeared to be red
crayon and food dye, hanging on the door.
"I KNOW THAT YOU LET HIM DIE!!"
Well, thinking his wife wrote the note, he went in and
packed up his stuff to move out. As he packed, Eileena
walked in. She was curious as to who had left the
note on the door and what it meant.
"I don't know. Pack up we're leaving." said Wilbur
with a not so smart look on his face.
BOOM!! The house erupted into flames. No one survived,
not even the poor cat that was already dead from the
previous day. Soon Wilbur and Eileena found themselves
in a warm musty hole filled with half eaten persimmons
and a spiteful centaur. They walked around the best
they could. They had just fell a good 65,000 feet
after all. When they reached a large doorway filled
with latchkey cows they stopped. They went in the
gate and saw their son, Linitor, beating the living
betinkles out of Satan himself. Their son was now the
ruler of the underworld. Linitor spied his Mom in the
corner and his dad on the ground wetting himself in
fear. Lini then took up his father in his hands and
said, "Father, you gave me more than you can ever
imagine." Then he turned him into a puppet with one
eye and a bum leg and sent him back to earth where
he'd perform in a handicapped veteran's hospital for
the rest of his days. Then he took up his mother in
his other massive hand.
"You gave me life, so that I may live, and be living.
For that I am very grateful." He turned her into a
contestant on Wheel of Fortune and she won hundreds
and went to live in a town north of Chattanooga called
Wipislandville.
Linitor, from that day forward, abused his power as
ruler of the underworld. He became infamous to all
those who worked at fast food establishments as the
illegitimate child who haunted the fry pan.
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