Masks and Walls

    Can we really judge someone by the first impression we get of them? The answer is obvious: No, we can not. The reason why may not be so obvious.

     We are constantly playing a game of cosmic poker, trying to hide our true thoughts and feelings from everyone else. We do not want to reveal who we are and what we feel and fear, for this would allow others to exploit us. We realize this on some subconscience level, and so we all wear masks and build walls to protect us from harm. The masks are used to present the person we want to be, and the walls prevent us from being hurt by the people around us. The walls are designed to keep people away from knowing our inner secrets, the things only a trusted few people will ever know. These trusted few people are the ones that we welcome into our walls. We put our masks on tightly, and build our walls thick and high to protect ourselves from others. Then we go out in the world and take our chances.

     Unfortunately for us, our masks are always a bit loose. We believe the mask is more secure than it really is and we always push the limits of our mask. When we least expect it, we let our defenses down and are unmasked for a moment, revealing our true self. We can rest assured though, that whenever we meet others, they are wearing their masks, and having the same thing happen to them. This outer persona is what we first percieve, and it allows us to get a glimps at the hopes, dreams, and fears of the other, without knowing any of that person's inner secrets, and these secrets are what make each person special.

     Much like the mask, the walls are never as strong or as tall as we believe, and given enough time those who wish to do us harm will find our weak spot or climb over the top. When this happens, the wall we have built loses it's integrity, and it comes crashing down. When this happens, we are hurt, for some of our secrets which we only tell those who have been let in are revealed.. The walls can come crashing down in another, more painful, way. If and when we let the wrong people in, they may open the door or break down the wall and expose our most private secrets to the world. They know our secrets which we do not want divulged to the world, and they have the ability to use them to destroy you, in any manner of methods. We are not only hurt by those who have been trying to come in, but by the person who we let in. When we are hurt by those who were not invited, we reinforce our walls, designed to keep those undesired people out. When someone close to us, who has been let into our wall, hurts us, we not only reinforce the wall, we reinforce the door, and do not open it as often. We become more suspicious of others and less trusting. We are not only hurt by those close to us, we are hurt by ourselves because we begin to shun those who would be great friends and would do us no harm.

     When our masks come loose, we are hurt slightly, for those people around us still do not know any of the secrets that are held within our walls. We are hurt more by those who break through the wall, but we are reassured by our judge in character, and by knowing they do not know our deepest secrets. When someone we let in, a close friend, lover, or family member hurts us, we are willing to do anything and everything to prevent it from happening again. This means pushing people out of our walls, and refusing to answer the door to those that would truely love and care for you.
     We use our metaphorical devices to protect us, and they affect how we interact with others, how we feel, and how we live our life. You can never stop the mask from slipping, and you can never stop people from trying to storm your barricades, but you can easily recover from them because you can always see it coming. We are hurt the most when someone we trust breaks down the barriers. So we need to use our best judgement to prevent that from happening.