Loan$hark!
"PAY YOUR DEBTS."
Loan$hark (2005)
Directed by: Jay Jennings
Approx. Running Time: 60 minutes
Rating: Not Rated
Listing on the A.K.A. Page: N/A
A Second Opinion: Rogue Cinema

Buy it on DVD at the official site: www.loansharkmovie.com
My Rating:

The Characters

Teddy Greene - Charlie Santore! A money collector with one hell of a mean streak. Actually, Teddy is a fairly decent guy, but the stresses of his personal life begin to take their toll, causing Teddy to take out his anger on his clients. By the end of the film, poor Teddy is "sleepin' with the fishes."

Charlie Burke - Teddy's mentor and friend. He tries to intervene and force Teddy to take a much needed vacation before he does something he'll regret. Sadly, Charlie doesn't make it out of this movie alive.

Vic Stone - Teddy's boss. He doesn't like the fact that Teddy's been roughing up people who owe him money. Relations between boss and employee worsen when Teddy arrives uninvited at Vic's house and tries to kill him to avenge the murder of Charlie.

A pimp, a "tennis mom," an amateur screenwriter, a junkie, gamblers, hookers, and a priest - No this isn't an incredibly elaborate setup for a dirty joke. These people have all borrowed money from Teddy and most have been beaten and/or threatened in some way by the over-stressed money collector. Yes, even a friendly priest isn't safe from the wrath of Teddy!

The Asian Hooker - This enticing oriental tart seduces Teddy and steals all his money, thus sending the already stressed money collector into a frenzy. She was definitely the straw that broke the camel's back!

Teddy's Dad, Girlfriend, Sister, and Ex-Wife - Teddy's dad is a total slime ball with a major gambling problem. I was hoping Teddy would stand up to him at some point, but I never got the satisfaction of seeing Teddy lay out his old man. Teddy's girlfriend and sister are only briefly introduced and utilized in the film, which is a total shame because they were both extremely cute! Teddy's Ex-Wife is yet another frequent problem in his crazy life, especially when he misses paying child support.


The Plot

In my line of work, I see a lot of independent films, and so far, I'm happy to say that most have been extremely fun to watch. Jay Jennings' Loan$hark, has been my latest venture into indie film reviewing and I'm happy to say that not only is this movie fun to watch (especially for fans of crime dramas), but it's actually very well-made. Filmed on a meager budget of five-thousand dollars, Loan$hark has a voyeuristic film noir style about it that makes you feel like you're getting a sneak peek into the life of the film's main character, Teddy Greene. Teddy is a money collector/loanshark that stalks the streets of Hollywood, California. When we first meet Teddy, he's getting bitched at by his screechy ex-wife for missing a child-support payment.

After she shakes him down (how ironic is that?!) for a few hundred bucks and leaves, Teddy gets dressed and hits the streets. It's not long before we see Teddy in action as he roughs up a pimp for some cash. (Teddy actually gets the drop on the guy and goes all "Russell Crowe" on the pimp with a payphone!) Afterwards, Teddy continues on his increasingly violent streak of money collecting. He threatens a "tennis mom" and her child over an overdue payment; he forces a prostitute to give him oral sex because she owes him money; Teddy slugs a guy in the middle of a public park and forces him to strip; he wrecks a television in a T.V. repair shop because the owner owes him a few thousand; Teddy pulls a gun on a starving musician and smashes his guitar, and well... you get the idea. Teddy's abuse of his clients hasn't gone unnoticed however.

Teddy's boss Vic Stone has been hearing some very negative things about the way Teddy does business and repeatedly warns his lackey to stop beating up debtors. Teddy is also chided by his mentor, Charlie Burke, a former hit-man. Charlie thinks that Teddy is under too much stress and offers him some advice ("Don't take your job so seriously kid!") and even offers to send him to Florida for a much needed vacation. Teddy turns down the Florida vacation and continues down the path of self-destruction as he becomes more and more violent and sadistic toward indebted clients. After a run-in with a crooked cop, Teddy eventually snaps, when he is robbed by a sexy little Asian prostitute. To make up for the lost revenue, Teddy begins shaking down everyone he possibly can, including a kindly priest.

After Teddy calms down a bit, he goes looking for Charlie for a little guidance (and a way out of Hollywood), only to find that his longtime mentor is missing. Teddy immediately assumes that Vic must've had Charlie killed, and rushes to the home of his employer. (This is a huge conclusion to jump to, but Teddy is actually right. Before he arrives at his employer's home, we learn that Vic did in fact have Charlie killed!) Teddy manages to get the drop on Vic but botches the assassination attempt and is soon grabbed by two goons. Said goons then drown poor Teddy in Vic's pool and leave his body in a dumpster. And so ends the tragic tale of Teddy Greene, a man destroyed by his own rage and desperation.

As you can see, there's not a whole lot of story here, and Teddy seems to be a completely mean-spirited and irritable SOB, but that's not the case here folks. Teddy is actually a fairly decent guy with no outlet for his constant stress. When Teddy's not beating someone up, or forcing a hooker to blow him, he's actually a great guy. This is best illustrated in several small scenes in the film that I have not mentioned thus far. In the first, Teddy runs into an old friend of his that's in town for a few days. For no reason at all, Teddy lends his pal a wad of cash with no strings attached and wishes him the best of luck. In another scene, Teddy gives a street performer a good chunk o' change, just because he liked her song. (Yeah he was trying to hit on her, but he still gave her the cash even after meeting her boyfriend. What a guy!)

In the final scene of Teddy's good will, we see him talking to his (amazingly hot) sister. Teddy shows genuine love and trust for his sibling during their brief chat in the film, and this further shows that he's not such a bad guy. However, all of that is overshadowed once Teddy goes ballistic after he's robbed by the (amazingly hot) Asian hooker. Not only does he assault a priest but he sticks a woman's hand in a garbage disposal, just because she didn't have any money! Once Teddy's madness reaches critical mass, it's no big surprise when he bites the dust. But you may be wondering, why is Teddy so stressed out all the time? Well first of all, his bitchy ex-wife is draining him financially for child-support.

His dad, a frequent gambler, is always borrowing money and verbally bashing Teddy's choices in life. (For Example: "You're a loser and you're not going anywhere in life Teddy! By the way, can I borrow a grand? I'm feelin' lucky today!" I made that up, but essentially that's what their relationship is like.) So I've talked a lot about Teddy, but what about the rest of the characters? Well, they're all one dimensional so there's not a lot to say. One thing I did like is that a tiny bit of backstory is given about each of Teddy's clients, and why they borrowed money from him. (Some needed money to start a business, others needed it to pay bills, and still others needed money to feed their addictions.) But this is about as much character development as you're going to get in this movie; this is totally Teddy's show.

On a technical level, this movie is very well done and I really enjoyed the film noir style that Jay Jennings' used. However, one major problem with the film was the sound. Due to ambient noises in the background (usually traffic) and the occasional "too loud" soundtrack, some of the dialogue that is exchanged in the film goes unheard. If this only happened once or twice, I probably wouldn't have mentioned it, but it's a recurring thing in the film that I found quite annoying. Another thing I enjoyed about the film was the way it was pieced together. My buddy Duane (webmaster of B-Movie Central and editor of Rogue Cinema) mentions in his review that the film is too choppy and didn't contain a very strong and coherent storyline. To an extent, I agree with what he was saying. It is very choppy and at times a little hard to follow, but I found the director's style to be extremely interesting.

However, I think Mr. Jennings actually should've made his film longer and really developed the relationships between Teddy and several of the key characters in this film, especially Charlie. I would've loved to know more about Charlie, how he became Teddy's mentor, and how he was "offed" by Vic. It also would have been great to see Teddy stand up to his dad, and perhaps almost straighten out his own life before spiraling into madness and despair, and ultimately paying the price. Perhaps in the near future, Jay will endeavor to remake this film and fill it out more. For now though, it's great as it is, and not bad at all for his directorial debut. Also, my hat goes off to the film's star and lead actor, Charlie Santore, who plays Teddy Greene.

Charlie (who portrayed "Dougie" in Lawrence Lanoff's Chosen One: Legend of the Raven) did an excellent job as Teddy and gave the character some real personality. I was at first skeptical that he could come off as a threatening and imposing guy, but as the film went on, Charlie really surprised me. By the third act, he was just downright vicious, desperate, and crazy! (Great work man!) As for the rest of the cast, they all do a great job in their small roles, if only some of the better actors and actresses were given a bit more screen time. Well, as you can see, I really enjoyed Loan$hark and I highly recommend it to fans of crime dramas like Mean Streets and Taxi Driver. (Both of which inspired Jay Jennings' to make this very film.) With his first feature film now in the bag, director Jay Jennings is now gearing up for another film project.

Jay is planning on making a film based off a script he wrote called Dream Factory. The story is told in a "film-within-a-film" style and revolves around the rise and fall of an independent movie producer who "wheels and deals his way" to the top. Mr. Jennings has likened it to Robert Altman's The Player, with a touch of Pulp Fiction and Swimming with Sharks. When more information about Jay's new film is available, I'll be sure to announce it here. To learn more about the man behind this film, read his Rogue Cinema interview; to purchase a copy of Loan$hark visit the official Loan$hark Website. The DVD features the full director's cut, nine deleted scenes, and a gallery of one-hundred photos!


Memorable Lines

Teddy: "I know your father; I know your brother a long time, but I'll tell you something. I'll stab you in the f*cking face, [if] I don't have that money."
(Reviewer's Note: Hahaha! So is there a face-stabbing clause located in this loan's fine print?)

Teddy: "Oh, and by the way. If this bounces, I'll throw your f*ckin' kid in traffic! Believe that!"
(Reviewer's Note: Hahahaha! Teddy says this after shaking down a Tennis Mom for a payment. For your child's sake ma'am, I hope your check clears!)

Vic: "Have a good afterlife!"
(Reviewer's Note: Vic gives Teddy a fond farewell before the troublesome loanshark is drowned in Vic's pool.)


Things To Watch For

  • Beginning - "Ted! Ted! Where's the f*cking money?!" - Funny thing is, Teddy's ex-wife said that all the time when they were still married! HA!
  • 4:32 - Hahahaha! I've watched this part repeatedly in slow-motion and well... was Teddy attempting to use that payphone as a bludgeon? Because I think his initial attacks missed their mark.
  • 7:55 - "I'll stab you in the f*cking face, [if] I don't have that money!"
  • 12:49 - "I'll throw your f*cking kid in traffic! Believe that!"
  • 17:16 - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A HOOKER!
  • 17:58 - Ted gets some head! Hahahaha! I kill me!
  • 20:26 - Teddy forces a guy to strip in a public park! Yikes!
  • 21:16 - RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A T.V.!
  • 39:31 - RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A GUITAR!
  • 44:46 - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A COP!
  • 45:27 - Oh man... me love her long time!
  • 50:03 - RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A PRIEST!
  • 54:00 - Pool dunking gone horribly wrong!
  • 54:32 - The End Credits.

    Review posted on July 25th, 2005.

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